Back-of-the-Book Blurb # 28

• Look at the photo below. (Whoops! Blogger is not allowing me to insert a photo right now. You can go to this link, scroll down to the end of the post, and you'll see the photo.)That is the cover of your book.
• You choose the genre. Chick lit? A romance? Nonfiction? You decide.
• Write an enticing blurb--150 words or less. (The title doesn't count in the word count.) Lisa Ricard Claro was the original creator of this project (she's an original in so many ways) and this summer, her third novel Love to Win debuted. Currently, Lisa's too busy at the beach to do this book blurb thing anymore. Lisa is trying to convince a publisher that her proposal for a book, called Every Grain of Sand, should be published. (She contends that every grain of sand is unique, and wants to write a short chapter on each grain she encounters. Of course, this will require lots of beach time for Lisa, but she is willing to make the sacrifice for her art.)
• Include your blurb in a blog post. Include a link to this post. 
• Link your post to Mr. Linky. Mr. Linky is easy. You don't have to buy him a drink or anything. If you've never done it, you'll be impressed with how simple he is.
• Check out the other blurb(s). It's interesting to see the different directions writers take, given the same photo.
• And have fun with it. Think of it as a way to take a break from the truly important writing you do... like a bit of a warm-up.

Virgil’s Final Prank

Virgil was a prankster.... and an inventor. Last year? A soap that glued people’s hands together. A few years before that… a lawnmower that planted dandelions as it cut the grass. (He thought it would be hilarious to loan the Dandelionator to unsuspecting neighbors.)

But this time, he’d come up with the funniest of prank machines, From remote locations, the Lifter-Upper could pull up a lady’s skirt (only slightly--Virgil was always a gentleAnd fman). It could lift a toupee into the sky. It could even remove the maraschino cherry off the top of an ice cream sundae.

That’s all Virgil thought it was:  fun. And it was just fluff and fun…. until a international superstar wanted to invest in Virgil’s Lifter-Upper.

Who is the superstar? And what do they want with Virgil’s invention? (132 words)








 
And for Val--and anyone else who wants to play along--here is the photo for next week's blurb:

Sioux the Stalker

           Sometimes I stalk writers in person. When I saw him at a teacher's convention, I tried to kiss the big ring on John Reynolds Gardiner's hand like he was the Pope. I almost kneeled down. (Gardiner is the author of Stone Fox, a children's book that makes me cry every year when I use it in my class.)

       I've stalked publishers, via local authors. (Kristina Makansi--I'm talkin' 'bout you.) I've even stalked a friend who was plagued by postpartum depression. 

       Bloggers are the same. There are quite a few I follow. Many I love are loved by hordes of people. And others try to fly under the radar. Here are a few bloggers I stalk:

Hillbilly Mom

This writer is quite secretive. She lives in the same state that I do. She's a teacher (or so she says). But when you try to dig up the dirt on her, you come up with an empty shovel. Nowhere on her blog is her real name. It makes me wonder what she's trying to hide?

However, what she makes no move to hide is what goes on in her daily life. In her posts (that appear every day), she shares what her PITA of a husband does, what her kids are up to (occasionally) and what living in the country is like. Her writing reminds me of another writer's style... I just can't place it.

Fireblossom

Shay Caroline Simmons has more personalities than she has names. At least it seems like she's suffering from multiple personality disorder. Each one of her brilliant poems is searingly different. One day, she might post a poem that's bittersweet and tender. The next day? A poem that's bitter and biting, her lines spewing spittle.

Once I won a custom-made poem from Shay. I gave her the topic... she wrote the poem, and now it's hanging in my writing room. I typed it up in a large font, and created a custom mat for it. (Okay, what I really did was buy a mat and frame from a thrift store and decorated the mat with a marker... but I guarantee you, there's no other frame like it.) Here's the poem:

Damn the Match

I said, damn the match that set me on fire

But no one heard

so I fanned myself with books, and oh
How I burned.

Damn the one who made me feel nothingly small,
This lonesome girl--
Then I spit my anger on a black-curling page,
And blistered the world.

Damn the distance that keeps my love from me,
The miles are sin--
Then I wrote out my love as a pink-fire dawn,
Warm on her skin.

Bless the match that each finger is,
To strike what I feel into words that be
An incendiary flow from soul to sky,
One burned-bright star that's made from... me.

                                                                  --Shay Caroline Simmons


Mama Zen--Mama Zen/Kelli, like Fireblossom, is a poet. In fact, the two have collaborated on poetry collections. Also like Fireblossom, Mama Zen's poems seem to come from different people--the tone, the voice is so varied... and so succinct. This poet can write jaw-dropping pieces in way less than 50 words. (Many times I count them, because I'm so ticked off she can say so much with so few words.) 

So, I'm a stalker. I follow some writers (and some publishers) a little too closely. Sue me. 

Have you ever stalked a writer/celebrity? Have you ever been stalked by a stranger because you're a weirdo-magnet? Stalking minds want to know...