One Big Lie Wrapped Up in Four Truths

        Tammy's a liar.  A stretcher-of-the-truth. A teller of tall tales. A fabricator. In other words, she's a writer...

       While reading her blog, I discovered Tammy had passed the liars' torch to me, along with this award:

         According to requirements of the award, in order to receive the huge cash prize and the semi full of Rice a Roni that accompanies the cute colorful certificate, I must tell you four truths and a lie. See if you can discern which one is the lie:

• I've been skydiving before. In fact, I've done it three times and look forward to doing it again.
• I have a half-sister who is in prison for life, without parole, for killing her step-grandson. 
• I once worked in the Chrysler plant for a short period of time; unfortunately, my ineptitude got me fired.
• Both of my children were born at home, by choice, without any drugs.
• I once spent the summer working in a national forest. It was an all-women work camp, and involved stringing barbed wire, digging post holes (by hand) and clearing trails.

(I think I am also supposed to post a photo of me writing.  That will have to wait until next week...)

          Now I am going to pass on this award to some of my blogging friends. (And I must admit, a few of these bloggers I've picked because I am dying to see what kind of lie they brew up.) And the few, the chosen, the awarded, are:

         Lisa Ricard Claro and her wonderful blog and meme. She writes marvelous stuff, shares writing opportunities, and has even launched a new meme recently.  Check out her Book Blurb Friday if you haven't already...

       Janel and her "Jumble." She writes. She creates bracelets and necklaces that are works of art.  She's way too talented for her own good. Let's see if she can spin a tall tale as well as she can weave wire and beads.

       Katie and her writing from the west coast.  Sometimes the stories she tells (true ones) are so hilarious and "out there," I'm suspicious.  I think she's a well-honed liar, but I could be wrong.

       Liza Bean, in care of her two-legged friend Pearl.  Of course, Pearl is welcome to tell four truths and a lie, too, but I am far more interested in Liza Bean's hair-raising "tails."

       Linda and her blog.  Linda shares her writing expertise--generously--and she makes me laugh (as do the vast majority of my blogging buddies).

        OJ Gonzalez-Cazares and her blog.  She's done quite a bit of traveling, and has a unique spin on life.  I think even her truths would sound like lies.

       Barb and her purple pen.  I am looking forward to her four truths and a lie, written with a rhyme scheme...

        Becky Povich and her blog.  Ooops, sorry. She's supposed to be working on her memoir and not spending endless hours on blogspot.  (You can write four fast truths and an even quicker lie...And then get back to your book!)

       And finally, last but certainly not least, is Donna and her book publishing blog.  Everyone's heard the phrase, "Still waters run deep."  That's Donna.  Who knows what kind of crazy, far-fetched true tales she's keeping hidden, under the surface? It'll be fascinating to find out.

         

Getting Older is Getting Better: Seven Reasons Why Fifty is Nifty

           Honestly, if I could be thirty again, with a smokin' hot figure and a gorgeous face and great hair, I would trade it for all the wisdom I've gained over the decades. 

          Important sidebar:  Did you note that the "again" only applies to the age?  I wasn't smokin' hot ever, nor did I ever have fantastic facial features or cooperative (and thick) hair.

 

         So, if I returned to that age of limbo---too old to be young and stupid and too young to really know--I would only be younger and thinner.  Not a lot of pluses to weigh in against all the things I'm now aware of.

          Since I am 50-something, these are things I have learned:

• In a pinch, a tube of lipstick from the Dollar Store is just as good as the tubes you pay $5-8 for at Target.  Granted, the color choice is limited, and probably it is made from blubber off of "Free Willy" himself, but hey, I can smear it across my lips and chin just like I can the expensive stuff. (And I just looked at the tube I am currently using. It is Sally Hansen's brand, and the color is called "Hint of Desire."  For the fifty and fat group, the "desire" is for fresh-out-of-the-oven chocolate chip cookies...)



photo by iamdogsmom

• A good bra is great friend.  Take the time to go to a real bra shop where a swarm of short, blue-haired women will hover around and take your measurements in a very unobtrusive manner (I promise), and after finding out your real bra size, you will leave a changed woman.  No more bonus boob for you (you know what I mean--when you have a third breast in the middle, because your cups overfloweth...).  If you're in the St. Louis/Wentzville area, I recommend Ann's Bra Shop.  They are wonderful.

photo by patti white

• Napping is delicious.  While toddlers rail against taking a nap, when you're my age, you rail when you have a nap planned and something screws it up.  Falling asleep in the middle of a Saturday afternoon while reading a marvelous book, a puddle of drool forming around your head, is even better...

photo by wojszyca

• Your eyesight is getting worse.  Really, it's a good thing.  When you look in the mirror, you cannot see all the lines and wrinkles and craters that are forming on your face unless...unless you get one of those magnifying mirrors, that makes your face 20x bigger than it actually is.  Do not, under any circumstances, buy one of these mirrors.  They are evil.  (I used one that belonged to a friend, and I spotted Buzz Aldrin walking around. Scary!)

sketch by david shepstone sketches

• You seem formidable and trustworthy.  Younger people are scared when you roar occasionally.  They also believe anything you tell them, even when you're being extremely sarcastic.  It's entertaining to mess with their minds.  Really.

photo by swrvler9284

• People are easily surprised...They're surprised you did not just emerge from under a rock--gray-haired and grayish skin--where you've spent the last half of a century.  And in their mind, while you were under that rock, you listened to nothing but Lawrence Welk.  When you can sing along with a Train song or Lady Gaga, their mouths gape open, amazed.  It's funny. 

• Laughter is important.  Look at life through humorous-colored glasses.  And realize that it's crucial to make the ordinary seem extraordinary.  Elevate a simple dinner into a gala affair with some candles and the "good" china.  Sing along with your significant other--loudly--when "Me and Mrs. Jones" (and overexaggerate the lisp) comes on the car radio.  And have fun...

photo by nanettesol

(Note:  Great writers take the everyday and make it extraordinary.  Today Tammy has a post about mowing the lawn.  Now, I never thought someone could write about cutting the grass in a way that would make me laugh,  but I'm wrong. Check it out.)
          

Growing Older

photo by Missy13d69

           Certainly it would be nice to be younger.  Not twenty-something-and-still-stupid young, but being transported back to my thirties might be nice.  The thirties...years when my metabolism was still alive and breathing...

           However, being the age I am (I tell my students I'm in my 70's and they believe me; that either indicates how trusting they are, or it indicates what I truly look like), I now am more aware of what is important and what is not.  I'm more comfortable with myself and have accepted what I have morphed into over the years.

          I just read Tammy Goodsell's blog on the advantages of old age.  Some will make you chuckle (as you nod uh-huh) and some will make you become introspective. Check out her post from Thursday, November 18.

         And how about sharing (with her or me or, preferably, both) what is the #1 advantage to growing older, in your opinion?