Vindaloo is Whoo Hoo... Margaret Atwood Came to St. Louis... and Back-of-the-Book Blurb #77

         A month ago I fell in love with a vindaloo sauce. Slip some chicken into that stuff, bake it, and it was spicy... but just the right amount of heat.

        My husband looked for more (at the same grocery store) but they had discontinued stocking it. I was cranky acting like I always do. I was jonesing for some vindaloo. 

        Hubby came to the rescue. Or was he trying to kill me? He found some online, and ordered a six pack of the jarred concoction of the gods. Waiting for that package was difficult as I salivated over future vindaloo dinners. I promised my daughter-in-law a jar of it. ("It would make a great quick dinner for you, after teaching all day," I said. Little did I know that my promise might later be construed as premeditation...)

      Well, that sauce that was delivered was labeled "hot and spicy," and they didn't mean hot by white-as-notebook-paper people standards. Immediately, I discovered that "hot" by Indian standards means "permanently burn your tastebuds" hot. 

      (If anyone would like a jar of it, I'd be happy to give you one. Don't be nervous when I hand it to you and I've got an oven mitt on...)

       Now onto a hot writer--Margaret Atwood.

       She's the author of The Handmaid's Tale and earlier this week, she came to St. Louis. I didn't get to see her, but my daughter sent me a link to an article about her appearance... in case you're interested.

        Tonight I'm going to see Sherman Alexie (I am pinching myself, I'm so excited) so I won't be able to respond to the dozens one comment on this post until much later this evening. 

        And now onto book blurb stuff:


And now onto our book blurb of the week.

            Look at the photo below. That is the cover of your book. You choose the genre. Is it a love story about a senior citizen and her bingo dauber? Is it an insider's tale, exposing the horrors of bingo halls? You decide.

         Write an enticing blurb--150 words or less. (The title doesn't count in the word count.) Blurbs are those enticing bits that prod you into buying the book. Sometimes they're on the back cover of the book. Sometimes they're on the inside front cover. What they always try to do is lure you into purchasing the book. 

          Lisa Ricard Claro was the original creator of this writing challenge. She moved to Florida, and is too busy to host a weekly book blurb. Her first romance novel, Love Built to Last, just came out as an audio book. Thankfully, she and her hubster and their home are safe and sound. (By the way, years ago, Lisa predicted that writing these silly blurbs would help with writing the real thing and by cracky, she's right.)

          Okay, back to book blurb stuff.
       

          Include your blurb in a blog post. Include a link to this post. Also, link your post to Mr. Linky. Mr. Linky is easy. If you've never done it, you'll be impressed with how simple he is. And then, check out the other blurb(s). It's interesting to see the different directions writers take, given the same photo.

        Here's the book cover, along with my blurb: 

   

Jean’s Packin’ Something in Her Depends

Jean was sick and tired of the fast and loosey-goosey bingo games at the nursing home. She’d complained. She’d written letters. Now she’d have to show them she means business.

Every Tuesday, she’d come early, set up her daubers and her good-luck trinkets, and then she’d peruse the prize table. No matter what Jean set her sights on—a dollar-store stuffed animal or a plastic rain bonnet—and no matter what threats she’d hiss (“That one’s gonna be mine! Stay away from the pink panda or I’ll slip you a whole box of Ex-Lax in your pudding.”), some blue-haired biddy would snatch Jean’s prize before she had the chance to win it.

Some hot lead will show ‘em she’s serious. Are those old folks feelin’ lucky… ‘cause Jean sure is. (128 words)

For those who want to work ahead on next week's blurb, here is the photo:

Back-of-the-Book Blurb Friday #19

        Yes, it's odd. It's Friday, and I'm actually not late this week posting Back-of-the-Book Blurb Friday on Friday. Strange, but true.

        Back-of-the-Book Blurb is designed as an exercise in succinctness. Brevity is next to godliness when it comes to "blurbs" on the back cover of a book--sparse bits to entice the reader into buying the book.

       This brilliant exercise was started by Lisa Ricard Claro. Lisa got way too busy with her multi-book publishing deal and had to give up hosting the book blurb activity. At this very moment, she is interviewing aesthetically-pleasing-to-the-eye young men to play in the movie version of her first novel, Love Built to Last. Will Caleb be played by Ryan Gosling? By Kit Harington?    

      Rumors have it that these two young men have been to Lisa for several call-backs. We'll keep you informed.

       And by the way, Lisa's third romance novel, Love to Win, is coming out tomorrow, July 30. I hate romance novels. I despise them. But Lisa's writing and her storylines suck me in every time. So, I'm planning on diving into Love to Win this weekend, because during the previous books in the series, I've learned to care about the characters and the relationships that have formed on the pages. 

       So, here's the scoop if you're playing along this week:

• Look at the photo below. That is the cover of your book.
• You choose the genre. Romance? Sci-fi? Contemporary lit? Nonfiction? Poetry anthology? You decide.
• Write an enticing blurb--150 words or less. (The title doesn't count in the word count.)
• Include your blurb in a blog post. Include a link to this post.
• Link your post to Mr. Linky. Mr. Linky is quite easygoing. If you've never done it, you'll be impressed with how simple he is.
• Check out the other blurb(s). It's interesting to see the different directions writers take, given the same photo.
• And most importantly, have fun. This is supposed to be enjoyable.

          Here is the photo for this week, and my lame finished blurb:

Trouble Retires... Or Does It?

These two friends have called themselves Thelma and Louise ever since they met. Together, they were trouble with a capital T. Playing practical jokes. Speaking their mind—loudly and often. Refusing to back down when someone did them wrong. Donna and Annie were an explosive combination.

When they went off to college, when they started families of their own, these two women supported each other. When Donna got laid off work, Annie threw her a “pity party” and made all the guests wet their pantyliners with her impromptu “roast.” When Annie's husband ran off with an 18-year old Amway saleswoman, Donna took her out on a “good riddance” bar spree.

But six months ago, they both retired. Now that they have empty hours every day, Annie and Donna are itching for an adventure. Sitting over dinner at a diner, they hatch a plan... and it involves a cross country road trip... (150 words)

         And for those folks who like to work ahead, here is the photo for next Friday.

Back-of-the-Book Blurb # 14

      Perhaps you're not one of the hundreds of three people who've participated in this book blurb stuff. Maybe you're wondering what I'm talking about... If that's the case, read about how you join in the fun and find out exactly what it is:

• Every Friday a pic is posted. The pic is meant to be the front cover of a book. Your book. You choose what kind of book it is. You choose the title. And you write the blurb.
• What kind of book could it be? Chick lit? A historical novel? A mystery? You choose the genre.
• The blurb? A blurb is that text on the book cover (often on the back) that is crafted to lure the reader, making it impossible for them to resist buying the book. It's engaging... and short, so being brief is key. For this challenge, your blurb should be 150 words or less.
• After you write your blurb, post it, along with the photo, on your blog, and link it to this post via Mr. Linky (which is quite simple to do--even my not-very-bright golden retriever can do it). You can also check out the other blurbs--there will hopefully be at least one other one besides mine that you can check out. 

       If you enjoy reading them/writing them, you should check out Lisa Ricard Claro's website. She's the writer who first had this idea several years ago but got too busy with a 3-novel publishing deal, and had to give up the book blurb activity. You could write a gushing email, thanking her for inspiring someone else to take up where she left off but if you do, you won't 

get a response. * Right at this moment, Lisa's cooling her heels in a jail cell, awaiting trial. What crime is she accused of? The authorities claim she did something horrendous... but something that every true writer has dreamed of doing. 

      Witnesses say that almost two months ago, Lisa assaulted James Patterson. Oh, she attempted to reason with him, during a book signing of all things, before she went completely over the edge. Hundreds of audience members heard Lisa shriek things like, "You aren't a writer," "What kind of writer just writes the outlines and lets dozens of other people actually write the book?" and "You ain't no writer! You're a fraud!" When Patterson just smiled at her and continued signing books (while one of his lackeys sat under the table, using Patterson's one paragraph "outline" to churn out yet another Patterson best-seller), Lisa took a book bag--full of all the drafts of her novels Love Built to Last, Love to Believe and Love to Win (with all the drafts together, the bag weighed 57 pounds) and she started swinging it at his head, as if she were a human windmill. 

      Patterson was taken by ambulance to an unnamed hospital. He was later released after getting stitched up. Thankfully for his fans, his check-signing hand sustained no injuries. 

      Enough. On with the blurb, that goes with this photo:

Fishin' For Love

      Hector used to be a construction worker. But when the construction business went bust, Hector had to humiliate himself and collect unemployment checks. His wife left. His pride disappeared. Hector was a broken man.

        Having nothing else to do with his days, he started fishing. The act of casting out his line and sitting patiently, waiting... well, it calmed Hector down.

        And then one day, a woman and her little girl came walking by. The little girl rushed over and started asking Hector a string of questions. He smiled as the young mother tried to apologize for the intrusion, as she tried to distract her curious daughter and get her to leave this nice man alone.

        Fishin' For Love tells the story of how many times he cast his line, how many times Celeste avoided the bait, and if in the end, they both became hooked... (147 words)

    Here is the photo for next week, if you'd like to try and work ahead:

*Lisa is unfailingly kind and generous, so she wouldn't not respond because she's rude. However, people in jail cells don't get an overabundance of paper or access to computers, so her hands are tied--almost literally. 

Back-of-the-Book Blurb Friday # 12

          Yes, it's Friday, which this week flew in so quickly, I was unable to post anything on Tuesday. My "real work" work piled up. Earlier in the month, I gave my school district my letter of resignation. I am retiring--from Missouri public schools--and will be looking for another teaching job in a private school in Missouri or a public school in Illinois. (I live minutes away from several Illinois cities.)

          I am not through teaching. However, collecting data is not my forte. Teaching writing to young people--now that's what I love, so I hope to be able to do it again soon.

         Anyway,back to blurb writing... If I've already lost you, I guess there's no point explaining this challenge. However, if you're still hanging on, hoping that something interesting and relevant will emerge, here goes:

• Every Friday a photo is posted. The photo is meant to be the front cover of a book. Your book. You choose what kind of book it is. You choose the title. And you write the blurb.
• The blurb? A blurb is that text on the book cover (often on the back) that is crafted to entice the reader into buying the book. It's engaging... and short, so being brief is key. For this challenge, your blurb should be 150 words or less.
• After you write your blurb, post it, along with the photo, on your blog, and link it to this post via Mr. Linky (which is quite simple to do). You can also check out the other blurbs--there will be dozens hopefully at least one--and comment on them.
•  If you enjoy reading them/enjoy writing them, you should check out Lisa Ricard Claro's website. She was the writer who first had this idea several years ago. Sadly (for us, but happily for her) she got too busy and had to leave it by the wayside. You could thank her, but don't expect a "you're welcome" in response, as currently, she's living in a firehouse. Her WIP is a children's book, and she's researching the work of firefighters. She's teaching them how to start fires (if you've read her two romance novels, Love to Believe and Love Built to Last, and if you're fanning yourself over her upcoming Love to Win, coming out on July 30) you know what kind of hot, raging fires I'm talking about). The firefighters are teaching her how to cook enough chili for twenty hungry men and how to drive the firetruck. (She only driven over 7 curbs and flattened one squirrel so far.)

       Enough. On with the blurb, that goes with the picture at the top...

A Perfect Speci-Man

         Marvin couldn't understand it. He was a nice guy. He took pride in the way he carried himself and the way he dressed. Wrangler jeans and golf shirts on the weekend, and his postal uniform during the week. When he was lucky enough to have a date, he took them to only the finest restaurants in town--Denny's or Wendy's. 

         But in spite of all his pro's, he had not managed to con anyone into a long-term relationship. Marvin had no one to love. He had not found that special someone yet.

        A friend convinces Marvin that he needs to stand out. He needs to do something to make women notice him. His friend creates the perfect hat and glasses that is sure to make women stop and pay attention to Marvin.

        Will it work? What kind of women will Marvin attract? And will he eventually find true love? (150 words)

        And for those folks who like to work ahead instead of by the seat of their pants, here is the photo for next week:

232 and 265

          I just finished Lisa Ricard Claro's Love Built to Last. To say that I avoid romance novels like the plague is not too much of an exaggeration... and with good reason.

       Romance plots are predictable. There's an overabundance of fluff and froth. Too much tingling and shivering and blood rushing to man-bits and woman-bits. (I know, I know. That's not the right lingo. So sue Sioux.) And there are lots of other types of books I'd rather read--memoir... historical fiction... chick lit... books about polka music--just about anything other than romance novels.

      However, good writing is good writing. It transcends the genre. And Love Built to Last is well-crafted and has a plot that kept me turning the pages. So begrudgingly, I admit it: I read a romance novel and I liked it (to really butcher and paraphrase the old Katie Perry song). 

     
       There's a rescued dog. That earns a gazillion points in my book. There's a few twists and turns. There's some unique plot components (the stuff that goes on with the desk is waaaay clever). I planned on finishing it up last night but ran out of time. However, I made sure I did this afternoon. (I could have either written a crappy draft for the WWWP's to critique, or I could have finished Love Built to Last. I made the right choice, believe me.)

          I loved that Lisa made us wait until the very end before we found out where the title came from. I loved that there were times when Lisa teased us. There were times when the characters found out something (Jack's "message," for example), but she made us wait.


       There's even tears. Two pages made my eyes well up.

             Damn you, Lisa Ricard Claro... You made me read a romance novel, you made me enjoy it, and you made me cry. 

          

       

Potatoes Plus Meat... and Even Some Great Gravy

       Okay, I am the first to proclaim, "I don't read romance." I love chick lit. I love historical fiction. I love books that defy categorization--they're not horror, but they're mighty creepy (like the novels that Joe Hill crafts). I especially love memoir.

        But romance novels? Those small paperbacks with the Fabio guy (shirt unbuttoned) and the woman with the heaving bosom (about to pop her shirt buttons) on the front cover? Those stories where the plot is always the same--just change the era and the color of the woman's hair?

        Nope. Can't stand 'em. Don't read 'em. Always pooh-poohing 'em.

        But I did say I'd read Lisa Ricard Claro's romance novel Love Built to Last. Lisa's a blogging friend, writes wonderful posts, and for quite a while chronicled her pathway to publishing. Not only did she get this book published, she snagged a three-book deal.

        That is way impressive.

         So to say I was intrigued is an understatement. Was I going to read Lisa's book and be less-than-thrilled (which is what I assumed was going to happen--the genre itself was going to guarantee it)? Or, was I going to read it and be impressed? (Since I am never ever wrong, this was not even a possibility--ha!)


         I have just barely started Love Built to Last. I've only read a third of the book so far... despite planning on reading it for quite a while.

          Why the delay in starting it? Unfortunately, this is a book I can't read before bed because as I drift into slumberland, I drool. The book inevitably falls to the floor in a helter-skelter manner. Books that I buy at Half-Price Books... that's okay if they get a whole series of crazily-folded pages or slobber stains pooled here and there. However, this is a book I wanted to stay in pristine shape. So I have to be in an upright position and not bone-tired when I pick it up.

        And when I did pick it up, I found the potatoes I figured I would. The little shivers down the spine. The blushed faces. The electricity when one hand first touches another. The fluff, the filler--the stuff that I knew I was going to find.

           (However, none of this is overdone. It's subtle. It's slipped in. It's done with a deft hand.)

        Okay, not a surprise. That's part of what defines romance. But in this novel I've found meat as well--stuff that truly brings satisfaction to the reader. Lisa Ricard Claro has taken parts of her own life and slipped them in seamlessly, causing me to nod my head knowingly and travel back to that time from my own life.

         For example, the Caleb character is watching his son play T-ball. He and his family end up laughing at an outfielder... an outfielder who is more concerned with picking dandelions than catching a fly ball. My husband and I would alternately shake with laughter and shake our heads when our son played T-ball. Da boy would pick his nose. He'd pick his butt. In the middle of an inning, our youngest once ran off the outfield to the bathroom... apparently full of pee-pee... without giving anybody a heads-up. Kicking dust was more crucial than being attentive to the game.

        And then there's gravy. Rich, perfectly-seasoned gravy. Well-crafted lines that are proof of the work that went into this novel. 

         In the first few lines, Claro writes of being reminded of a loss feeling "like an icy second skin." A few pages later, she writes about Maddie wearing a dress that shows off "through a miracle of design... more boobs per square inch than she'd ever possess." And I could continue...

         So, will I end up becoming a rabid romance novel reader? Most definitely not. Will I be glad to finish Love Built to Last? Yes, because that means I can savor the next two in the series... and when I finish the last line of Love Built to Last, I can find out what happens with Caleb and Maddie... 

        How about you? Have you read Love Built to Last? Do you enjoy reading romance novels? Heaving bosoms-avoiding minds want to know...