A Step Backwards... and Back-of-the-Book Blurb # 29

           This past week I took a step or two backwards, writer-wise.

           I got a rejection letter on a major WIP. The manuscript I had worked on for more than a few years got a "Thanks but no thanks." It would have gotten tossed into the circular file.... if it hadn't been sent via email.

            I'll admit. My eyes welled up when I went to bed that night. After all, I was planning on getting an in-ground pool with the advance I was going to get. I mean, it was going to be James Patterson money--I was sure of it. Thankfully, I was so exhausted, my pity party soon sequed into snoring.

             After licking my wounds, I started thinking about what my next move will be. Broach another local publisher? Get some feedback from friends and family?

             We'll see. What I know I won't do is give up. 

              And now onto the fun of book blurb...

• Look at the photo below. (Whoops! Blogger is not allowing me to insert a photo right now. You can go to this link, scroll down to the end of the post, and you'll see the photo.)That is the cover of your book.
• You choose the genre. Chick lit? A romance? Nonfiction? You decide.
• Write an enticing blurb--150 words or less. (The title doesn't count in the word count.) Lisa Ricard Claro was the original creator of this project  and this past summer, her third novel Love to Win debuted. Currently, Lisa's too busy to host Book Blurb Friday anymore. Her baby girl is getting married--in less than two weeks. In Florida. (I think the couple is getting the stormy weather out of the way before they're married. After surviving a wedding in the middle of a hurricane, marriage will be smooth sailing.)
• Include your blurb in a blog post. Include a link to this post. 
• Link your post to Mr. Linky. Mr. Linky is easy. You don't have to buy him a drink or anything. If you've never done it, you'll be impressed with how simple he is.
• Check out the other blurb(s). It's interesting to see the different directions writers take, given the same photo.
• And have fun with it. Think of it as a way to take a break from the truly important writing you do... like a bit of a warm-up.
• 
  

From Sinking to Smooth Sailing: Bringing a Business Back to Life in Ten Not-So-Easy Ways

            Randy’s donut business was failing. His profits were sinking, just like the donuts did in the fryer when he needed to change the oil. Worried, Randy tried different recipes.
          He made intricate designs with sprinkles. He encrusted the donuts with bacon. Randy injected espresso into the middle of the donuts. Nothing worked.

          Karaoke in his tiny donut shop was a brilliant idea… or so he thought it was brilliant. Would people sing for donuts? Apparently they do-nut, because his bank account continued to plummet.

          But accidentally, he stumbled upon the solution. There Randy was, squatting in front of the campfire, a donut in one hand and a stick with something roasting over the fire in the other. When he stood up, he tripped… and an incredible combination was created.

          What was the marvelous mash-up? And what funny name did Randy come up with? Read this sweet story to find out… (150 words)

And for those who think ahead and aren't such pantsers like me, here is the photo for next week (10/14):

Males and Snails and Puppydog Tails

         Did you know dogs' nostrils are independent of each other? Like our eyes, a pooch's sniff-holes can move in different directions... which help make them incredible at tracking.

* The writer and the editor in you needs to--sometimes--be independent agents. There are times when you just need to write--dump everything you can onto the page, paying no attention to the inner critic within. At other times, you need to be a pure editor, and let the words you've fallen in love with fall into the "delete" file, without moaning (in a writer's voice) "But I worked so hard on that part."

       Did you know as they move along, snails leave behind a trail of mucus which lubricates and reduces the surface friction? This also allows the snail to move along upside down.

*  As writers, don't we leave behind a trail of discarded lines, pages that end up with huge Xs Sharpied across them? And the stuff I discard... well, mucus is a more complimentary than I would normally use.

           Did you know that most teen aged boys love to write? They bubble over when given the chance to engage in some creative writing. There is nothing they love better than digging open a vein and letting their feelings flow all over the page.

            Sometimes I even make myself laugh hysterically. And I laugh and I laugh and I laugh until only a shot from a tranquilizer gun will stop the hysteria.

            Okay, most of them, when listing things they want to do, put writing right under getting their teeth pulled... which is ironic, because sometimes it's like pulling teeth to get them to get something down on paper.

*  Today (or sometime when I wasn't watching) one of my male students really put some thought and effort into a memoir he's drafting. I conferred with him last week. He had a great story, but had glossed over (as well as left out) most of the details that would really make the story shine. I thought he was going to take the easy way out and say, "I'm finished," but today's conference was a pleasant surprise. The story unfolds with enough details and voice to carry it along. 

What connections have you made to other people or nature this week?

Back-of-the-Book Blurb # 28

• Look at the photo below. (Whoops! Blogger is not allowing me to insert a photo right now. You can go to this link, scroll down to the end of the post, and you'll see the photo.)That is the cover of your book.
• You choose the genre. Chick lit? A romance? Nonfiction? You decide.
• Write an enticing blurb--150 words or less. (The title doesn't count in the word count.) Lisa Ricard Claro was the original creator of this project (she's an original in so many ways) and this summer, her third novel Love to Win debuted. Currently, Lisa's too busy at the beach to do this book blurb thing anymore. Lisa is trying to convince a publisher that her proposal for a book, called Every Grain of Sand, should be published. (She contends that every grain of sand is unique, and wants to write a short chapter on each grain she encounters. Of course, this will require lots of beach time for Lisa, but she is willing to make the sacrifice for her art.)
• Include your blurb in a blog post. Include a link to this post. 
• Link your post to Mr. Linky. Mr. Linky is easy. You don't have to buy him a drink or anything. If you've never done it, you'll be impressed with how simple he is.
• Check out the other blurb(s). It's interesting to see the different directions writers take, given the same photo.
• And have fun with it. Think of it as a way to take a break from the truly important writing you do... like a bit of a warm-up.

Virgil’s Final Prank

Virgil was a prankster.... and an inventor. Last year? A soap that glued people’s hands together. A few years before that… a lawnmower that planted dandelions as it cut the grass. (He thought it would be hilarious to loan the Dandelionator to unsuspecting neighbors.)

But this time, he’d come up with the funniest of prank machines, From remote locations, the Lifter-Upper could pull up a lady’s skirt (only slightly--Virgil was always a gentleAnd fman). It could lift a toupee into the sky. It could even remove the maraschino cherry off the top of an ice cream sundae.

That’s all Virgil thought it was:  fun. And it was just fluff and fun…. until a international superstar wanted to invest in Virgil’s Lifter-Upper.

Who is the superstar? And what do they want with Virgil’s invention? (132 words)








 
And for Val--and anyone else who wants to play along--here is the photo for next week's blurb:

Sioux the Stalker

           Sometimes I stalk writers in person. When I saw him at a teacher's convention, I tried to kiss the big ring on John Reynolds Gardiner's hand like he was the Pope. I almost kneeled down. (Gardiner is the author of Stone Fox, a children's book that makes me cry every year when I use it in my class.)

       I've stalked publishers, via local authors. (Kristina Makansi--I'm talkin' 'bout you.) I've even stalked a friend who was plagued by postpartum depression. 

       Bloggers are the same. There are quite a few I follow. Many I love are loved by hordes of people. And others try to fly under the radar. Here are a few bloggers I stalk:

Hillbilly Mom

This writer is quite secretive. She lives in the same state that I do. She's a teacher (or so she says). But when you try to dig up the dirt on her, you come up with an empty shovel. Nowhere on her blog is her real name. It makes me wonder what she's trying to hide?

However, what she makes no move to hide is what goes on in her daily life. In her posts (that appear every day), she shares what her PITA of a husband does, what her kids are up to (occasionally) and what living in the country is like. Her writing reminds me of another writer's style... I just can't place it.

Fireblossom

Shay Caroline Simmons has more personalities than she has names. At least it seems like she's suffering from multiple personality disorder. Each one of her brilliant poems is searingly different. One day, she might post a poem that's bittersweet and tender. The next day? A poem that's bitter and biting, her lines spewing spittle.

Once I won a custom-made poem from Shay. I gave her the topic... she wrote the poem, and now it's hanging in my writing room. I typed it up in a large font, and created a custom mat for it. (Okay, what I really did was buy a mat and frame from a thrift store and decorated the mat with a marker... but I guarantee you, there's no other frame like it.) Here's the poem:

Damn the Match

I said, damn the match that set me on fire

But no one heard

so I fanned myself with books, and oh
How I burned.

Damn the one who made me feel nothingly small,
This lonesome girl--
Then I spit my anger on a black-curling page,
And blistered the world.

Damn the distance that keeps my love from me,
The miles are sin--
Then I wrote out my love as a pink-fire dawn,
Warm on her skin.

Bless the match that each finger is,
To strike what I feel into words that be
An incendiary flow from soul to sky,
One burned-bright star that's made from... me.

                                                                  --Shay Caroline Simmons


Mama Zen--Mama Zen/Kelli, like Fireblossom, is a poet. In fact, the two have collaborated on poetry collections. Also like Fireblossom, Mama Zen's poems seem to come from different people--the tone, the voice is so varied... and so succinct. This poet can write jaw-dropping pieces in way less than 50 words. (Many times I count them, because I'm so ticked off she can say so much with so few words.) 

So, I'm a stalker. I follow some writers (and some publishers) a little too closely. Sue me. 

Have you ever stalked a writer/celebrity? Have you ever been stalked by a stranger because you're a weirdo-magnet? Stalking minds want to know...

Viola Davis is Back... and Back-of-the-Book Blurb Friday # 27

         Last night How to Get Away with Murder started its new season. If you haven't seen it, and if you enjoy twists and turns and jaw-dropping plot surprises that completely blindside you, you need to watch the first season and then catch up... quickly.

        Viola Davis has a lot to offer writers. With just an arch of an eyebrow, she says volumes. By just kicking off her heels, she is showing us something, not telling us. When she uses one character against another in a completely unexpected way, the show's writers are reminding us:  don't be too predictable with your writing.

         The show also plays with time--in a big way. Their use of flashbacks keeps the viewer on their toes. (Thankfully, there are helpful textual notes like, "Four months earlier" to help everyone keep track of the timeline.) For example, last night one of the main characters died/was killed. We don't know who it was and we don't know how. Viola Davis uncovered their face (after she rushed to the ambulance and yanked the doors open) but the viewers are being kept in the dark--for a while. The teaser for next week promised that we wouldn't find out for a while who it was, but each episode will tell us one character it is not. I imagine that each week, one of the characters will find out about the death (in flashbacks) and if they can be told about it/see it happening/commit the murder... well, it's not them.

         I hope your weekend--and the beginning of your next week--is a good one... and now, onto the book blurb's brevity exercise...
      

• Look at the photo below. That is the cover of your book.
• You choose the genre. A mystery? A child rearing how-to? A horror story? You decide.
• Write an enticing blurb--150 words or less. (The title doesn't count in the word count.) Lisa Ricard Claro is the original brains behind this writing exercise. Her third romance book just came out in July (Love to Win) so now she has the time to focus on her friend Cathy C. Hall. Cathy is getting her name legally changed to "Korea's James Patterson" and Lisa is helping her out by making her physically look the part. The next time you see Cathy Hall's photo, she will have big jowls... thinning, dark hair... and in her hand will be Jimmy-on-a-Stick. 
• Include your blurb in a blog post. Include a link to this post. 
• Link your post to Mr. Linky. Mr. Linky is easy. You don't have to buy him a drink or anything. If you've never done it, you'll be impressed with how simple he is.
• Check out the other blurb(s). It's interesting to see the different directions writers take, given the same photo.
• And have fun with it. Think of it as a way to take a break from the truly important writing you do... like a bit of a warm-up.

The Ungratefuls

Timmy and Jimmy had a whole cultural vista spread before them… and never did they appreciate it.

Their mother took them to the 1st annual Croc Convention, so they could check out the new Croc models before they even hit the sidewalk. Mom paid for the three of them to view the “History of Crocs” movie (recently edited down to 2 hours and 13 minutes). How did Jimmy and Timmy respond? They whined and moaned and napped.

Their mother bought them cheese-in-a-can. The snobby tikes turned their noses up. She made them watch a 12-hour marathon of Cat Ballou. They read comic books instead of enjoying the film. She took them to the fanciest store in town--Salvation Army’s Shoppe--and they wandered around listlessly.

What will make Jimmy and Timmy wake up to the wonders of the world? Will they ever show their thanks? Or will they remain ingrates forever? (149 words)

And here is the photo for next week, Val (and maybe Pat, if you can take a break from knitting long enough to write a blurb).

Because of the Dogs... and the Boss

         Everything I learned, I learned in kindergarten. That's a popular saying, but I beg to differ. I think the last couple of things I've learned (lately) I learned from my dog.

* Don't be afraid of being big-headed sometimes... at least inwardly.

          

        Okay, I'm not saying anyone should walk around full of arrogance. However, writing is hard. Being a writer is even harder. Deep down inside, you have to have a core of confidence in order to keep slogging forward.

        

Bruce Springsteen said it best this past weekend on CBS Sunday Morning. Unfortunately, I didn't write it down, but it boils down to this: artists make it because someone said they'd never make it and someone else thought they were the second coming. 

        

Keep it a secret (most of the time), but know your strengths. Are you capable of crafting a decent phrase? Can you make people laugh? Can you make readers cry? Get puffed up when you write something that sings across the page... but keep the puffiness to yourself. 

Radar looks like he has an abnormally large head,
which is weird, because there's no need for much room
for the gray matter... Actually, he's quite intelligent
but does some crazy-stupid things sometimes.

*  Be ready to take a break when you need to.

            Don't feel bad about taking a break from writing to read a good book. Or going on a walk with the dog. (Radar would really like that.)  Writing taxes the brain. Doing something else will help reboot the brain and ultimately, our writing will be better.  

           In the picture below, if you can't tell what that chewed-up "plate" is at Radar's feet, it's one of his beloved Frisbees.

       Howboutchou?  What have you learned lately from your dog, your cat, your horse or your kid?