A Serious Warning to Writers... AND Back-of-the-Book Blurb Friday # 23

       A warning to all you writers:  finishing your manuscript can be hazardous to your health.

       I'm serious.

       I've been plagued by severe knee pain for the past week. (And I have a high pain threshold. I gave birth to both my kids at home without any medicinal assistance. I usually CAN handle the pain.)  While some people would take something over-the-counter for it, perhaps ice it or put heat on it, maybe even see a doctor right away, I did nothing... except grit my teeth and continued with work on the third floor and up three flights of stairs if I park on the sidestreet so I don't get as big of an audience as I hunchback my way up the stairs old lady-style and figured it would go away in a few days. 

       It didn't. On Tuesday night, after an evening event at school, I was on the verge of tears as I drove home. Yesterday, finally, I headed to an urgent care center.

       Osteoarthritis. The most common form of arthritis for those over 50, which is strange, because I'm only 37. (Okay. I had to find some reason to laugh hysterically... just a bit of comic relief.) As the doctor spoke to me after x-rays and an examination, the pieces of the puzzle fell into place.

• I sat for long periods of time in July finishing up my manuscript while I binge-watched Downton Abbey and a few other unmentionable shows now that my students know about my blog.  Apparently arthritis loveslovesloves inactivity.
• At the end of July, I overdid things when I got my new job and schlepped boxes and boxes of books and tubs of stuff up those three flights of stairs. I didn't fall or pull anything, but I was doing more than I had gotten accustomed to doing. Osteoarthritis can set in after overdoing things.

       So, don't do as I did. Do as I say. Don't sit for long periods of time, hunched over your keyboard and in the writing groove. Get up at regular intervals and move. (I am going to order a Simply Fit Board, from one of the Shark Tank inventors. It's something I'm likely to do... Write for 20 minutes, take a 5 or 10 minute break and use it, which I can do while I'm watching TV, and then go back to writing.)

       I would show you a picture of a normal knee (This your knee) and then a picture of my old-lady knees (This is your knees as slugs) but the second image would be too horrifying...

      So before you move onto the next paragraph, the next chapter--get up and move... 'cause I'm not gonna share my knee brace with you if you get the same prognosis. 

      And now onto writing a book blurb.
      

• Look at the photo below. That is the cover of your book.
• You choose the genre. A love story? A coffeetable book? A historical piece? You decide.
• Write an enticing blurb--150 words or less. (The title doesn't count in the word count.) Lisa Ricard Claro is the original brains behind this writing exercise. Her third romance book just came out in July (Love to Win) so right now she's pitching a series of historical romances for toddlers, since she read her first gothic romance when she was 10.
• Include your blurb in a blog post. Include a link to this post. 
• Link your post to Mr. Linky. Mr. Linky is easy. You don't have to buy him a drink or anything. If you've never done it, you'll be impressed with how simple he is.
• Check out the other blurb(s). It's interesting to see the different directions writers take, given the same photo.
• And most importantly, have fun. This is supposed to be enjoyable.

          Here is the photo for this week, and my finished blurb:

       

The Old Man in the Shoe

Size does matter. At least that’s what Herman thought…

Herman was a never-married man, which made women wary, since he was 58.

It could have been his hairstyle. After all, most people didn’t want to look at an elaborate swirly comb-over on a president or a date’s head. Or it could have been his car.

Herman had a custom-made car and when he was introduced to new acquaintances, he’d laugh and say, “You know what they say about the size of a man’s shoe.” Then he’d pull a photo out of his wallet and show off his car.

But then Herman met the perfect woman for him… the lady of his dreams… his soulmate.

Will they find their own happily-ever-after? Will Herman need a shoehorn if his lady is going to fit into his life?  And does size really matter--when it comes to Herman’s car or his newly-found love? (149 words)

And the above photo is for next week. It's a picture taken by Lynn Obermoeller, who is working on her own book. However, she doesn't need any reminder to keep moving on a regular basis. Lately, she's turned into the incredible shrinking woman...

On Fire

      I recently got a book from my husband. No, he didn't read it. He doesn't read unless he has to. But I won't admit I'm enjoying it because he heard about it on NPR.

      NPR and I are like oil and water. When I am speeding driving down the highway, I enjoy listening to music. Loud music. Some voice droning on and on does not appeal to me while I'm tooling around. (Yes, I know I'm missing out on wonderful stories and interviews. If I was guaranteed I'd be able to avoid Prairie Home Companion, I might try it out. But Garrison Keillor is lurking around every corner.)

      John O'Leary, when he was a kid, caused an explosion in his family's garage. Their house burned down. John got third degree burns over all of his body except for his face and scalp. 

        Immediately after the explosion, John asked his two younger sisters to go into the burning house and get a knife. O'Leary wanted to kill himself. Instead of getting a knife, his youngest sister got a cup of water and threw it on John's face... and she did it once or twice more, which is why his face is not as burned as the rest of him.

       There's a "philosophical" page between each of the sections, but I'm skimming over those. I'm reading it more as a memoir than a life-changer.

        It's an interesting story, and since O'Leary lives in St. Louis, who knows... Perhaps I might run into him some day?

        Is there a book that changed your life? I'd love to know what it was.

Back-of-the-Book Blurb Friday # 22

       Before we get to writing a book blurb, I must report: I have a dream job. The students are delightful and so kind (genuinely kind) to each other. The parents are incredibly involved (in a good way). And the staff is a friendly, supportive, close knit group.

        I'm really fortunate...

        Now... onto writing a book blurb.

• Look at the photo below. That is the cover of your book.
• You choose the genre. A love story? A limerick collection? A fantasy? You decide.
• Write an enticing blurb--150 words or less. (The title doesn't count in the word count.) Lisa Ricard Claro is the original brains behind this writing exercise. Her third romance book just came out in July (Love to Win) so she's lounging on the couch right now, watching reruns of Castle as she takes a tiny break from the drudgery of marketing her books. 
• Include your blurb in a blog post. Include a link to this post. 
• Link your post to Mr. Linky. Mr. Linky is charming and easy. If you've never done it, you'll be impressed with how simple he is.
• Check out the other blurb(s). It's interesting to see the different directions writers take, given the same photo.
• And most importantly, have fun. This is supposed to be enjoyable.

          Here is the photo for this week, and my finished blurb:

The House That Mick Built

Mick was a man on a mission. He wanted his estate to set the world record for having the most outbuildings, and his mission kept him busy.

He used cargo containers to create sheds. He used his toenail clippings--glued together with Modge Podge--to make small shacks. Mick even used raggedy pairs of his tighty-whities--stiffening them up with starch--to create a cotton version of a log cabin.

But while thumbing through a magazine while sitting on his throne, he saw a photo of an upside-down house. His jaw dropped open. He stopped breathing and started drooling.

“That is going to be my next project!” he exclaimed.

Will Mick be able to pull it off? (The construction, not the underwear) Will his family stick by him, or will they conspire to kill him? Or will the house itself be the death of him? (141 words)

       And for my hundreds dozens handful of one follower, here is the photo for next week.

Using What You Know

           New job. New building. New set of keys (seven of them--Yikes). I knew I needed a new lanyard (I like them longer than the store-bought ones usually are) so I headed to Pinterest, then to Michael's (craft store). The knotting pattern was not complicated, but when it came to finishing the knotted part, the directions I had didn't seem too reliable/permanent. 

         "Cut the ends off and burn the end of each cord." Certainly, burning the end off would have prevented the cord from unraveling, but what would keep the cord itself from becoming unknotted?

          Because I knew that paracord melts and becomes plastic-y when set on fire, I took the ends (and kept them an inch or so long) and burned the cord until I could melt it back onto the lanyard... and I only got one small blister on my finger and avoided setting the house on fire in the process, which is a huge success in my book. 

           Another thing I know: dogs, when stuck between uncertainty and a warm lap, usually succumb to the lap. This is a picture of one of my sister's dogs. She's a chihuahua mix, and I do not like chihuahuas. They're small and yappy and I tend to (accidentally) step on small dogs. When I first met her (an adult rescued dog) the feeling was mutual. She had prejudged me just like I'd been prejudiced about her. 

           

          However, this pup is part terrier-something, is built like a miniature horse, and runs like a greyhound. The next time we met, it was pure love.

         This is a picture of my daughter and her family at a local sculpture park. My daughter is cussedly independent (I don't know where she got that trait) and refuses to listen when I say things like, "We don't need your help with this yard/house project." She shows up anyway.

          

        Most years, when our dog rescue group has silent auctions, I bid on things that she and her family would enjoy. A free night at a funky hotel. A pair of baseball tickets. Restaurant gift certificates. So when she said this year, "Don't bid on anything for us," am I going to listen to her since she didn't listen to me?

       Definitely not.

           And my final utilization of what I know (for the moment) is this: it's important to keep your eye on what's important. (This picture is a huge sculpture at the same park as the previous photo.) 

         In mid-July, an editor at a conference asked for my manuscript. She gave me a time-frame when she would look at it. That time period is long gone. However, in my opinion, it's more important to give her time and not aggravate her than it is for me to email her and say "Haveyoureadmymanuscript?Haveyoureadityet?Whatdoyouthinkofit?Whatkindofastronomicalcheckareyougoingtosendmefortheprivilegeofpublishingit?

          Nope. I ain't gonna do it. Instead, I'm going to patiently (or semi-patiently) wait... for a little while longer. 

          What kind of knowledge/wisdom have you put to use lately?

Back-of-the-Book Blurb Friday #21

     Writers write tight(ly).

     Writers choose their words carefully. They write a draft, distill it down to its barest bones, and then flesh it out a bit here and there wherever the paring got too brutal.

     This exercise helps with the succinct skills. Would you like to join us this week? Dive in. It's easy and fun. Here are the guidelines:

• Look at the photo below. That is the cover of your book.
• You choose the genre. A how-to book? A haiku collection? Chick lit? You decide.
• Write an enticing blurb--150 words or less. (The title doesn't count in the word count.) Lisa Ricard Claro was the creative brain behind this activity. She is too busy serving as vice president of Amazon's new "Fairness to Authors When It Comes to Book Reviews" department and cannot be bothered with silly blog stuff like this.
• Include your blurb in a blog post. Include a link to this post. 
• Link your post to Mr. Linky. Mr. Linky is charming and easy. If you've never done it, you'll be impressed with how simple he is.
• Check out the other blurb(s). It's interesting to see the different directions writers take, given the same photo.
• And most importantly, have fun. This is supposed to be enjoyable.

          Here is the photo for this week, and my finished blurb:

The Perfect Man

“When is your first day back at school?”

“How fast were you going when you got that ticket?”

“Did you eat the last ice cream bar?”

He asks the questions, gets answers, and then hours (or days) later, asks the same questions.

It's not Alzheimer's. It's not deafness. It's just aggravation. Tired of the endless string of repetitive questions, she turns to pins and needles. Pins and needles and a voodoo doll, that is.

When she put the first needle in, it seemed too flimsy to do any good, so she shoved seventeen more in—quickly.

And after she set the doll on her dresser, she went into the back yard. And saw her husband, now reduced to a stone statue.

Things had gone quite awry. Will she try to undo her voodoo gone wrong? Or will she plant some flowers around her new lawn feature? (145 words)

           And for my only regular player--Val/Kathy--here is the photo for next week, so while you're lolling around in your jammies all day and cruising around on the internet nonstop, you can also start thinking ahead. 

Joy! What is it Good For? Absolutely Somethin'!

        Recently I had an electronic conversation with a writer friend. They were sharing how much social media work--work that is devoid of joy--it takes to promote a book. This writer does appreciate their success (several published books and a mob of loyal followers) but occasionally (as we all do) they lose sight of their joy.

        When I watch my dog race around the backyard, chasing after a frisbee or a squirrel (thankfully, the squirrels always allude him), I think of the joy Radar experiences all the time. Being petted results in him wiggling his rear end in excitement. Just the sound of our key turning in the lock when we get home... and he's turning tight, fast circles of anticipation. If we say "blinky ball" (his ball that lights up and squeaks) he's like an unstoppable horse as he heads for the backdoor.

        Radar knows nothing but joy. It's something he experiences all the time. He's decided that life is nothing but one big party... and he's the guest of honor.

        Last night we went and heard Compton Heights Concert Band play. It was their last summer concert. These are free, and are held every Sunday and Monday during the summer.

       Every summer they have Hugh Smith join them. Smith is a tenor--one that I enjoy. What's the connection with joy and some guy who sings? Last night, it was obvious how much he was enjoying himself as he sang. Yes, there are tenors who are way more famous than Smith. And yes, he may never be remembered as one of the greats. But when he sings, he's joyous.

       It reminded me of one of my favorite Harry Chapin songs--a song that never made it on the radio waves. "Mr. Tanner" tells the story of a singer who loved singing, then his joy was taken away... You have to listen to the song to find out what happened. (If you want to skip Chapin's intro to his band, go to the two-minute mark.)

      What brought you joy today? Or yesterday? Or last week?