 |
| photo by jamie nyc |
Recently, my husband asked me why breasts are often featured in my posts. Of course, since he is male and is differently-equipped, he's clueless.
When I was in junior high and my breasts developed on my then-thin frame, they were a pain in the rear. Being a tomboy, I lived in chambray shirts and jeans, or overalls. My true desire was to wear bright red or rainbow-colored suspenders, but being extra-endowed proved problematic. Should the suspenders be worn right over the middle of each breast, or shove them off to either side? Thinking they looked stupid on my figure, I (sadly) did not wear them.
In my late teens and early 20's, I developed an appreciation for my breasts; as a waitress, I could use them to my advantage. Leaning over a bit--for leering purposes--when serving a businessman or a drunk truck driver could bring in extra-large tips. However, sometimes I had to get a customer's eye contact back to my eyes so I could get their order. (They were easily hypnotized or not too bright--maybe they thought they were in a drive-through and my breasts were speakers...I'm not sure what their problem was.)
Now in my 50's, I've discovered how versatile my breasts are. Patricia Heaton (the actress that played Ray Romano's wife on Everybody Loves Raymond) once spoke quite candidly about the breast augmentation she had done. She said before the surgery, it was like an origami project putting on a bra---folding each breast multiple times to get it in. So there's one way they serve a purpose: as a free rainy-day activity.
They can also be leg warmers during cold weather. If you flip them up over your shoulder and around your neck, they can be neck warmers.
So yes, I did not appreciate or like my breasts when I was young, but now I've gotten quite attached to them. And if you have other ways they are versatile, feel free to send them my way.
Mine are like Baby Bear's porridge...just right. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI call mine Mopsy and Flopsy. I wrote an essay on moving up a bra size. I should post that.
ReplyDeleteOMG! When I read your title, I...like your husband..thought Sioux has a boob fixation! :)
ReplyDeleteI love your Mork & Mindy reference, too, about the suspenders. Isn't it silly the things we won't do when we're young...when we're too shy, or don't want to look too "weird"?
And Fireblossom...mine used to just right, too...then I got older and everything went down hill from there.....(oh, I just crack myself up sometimes!!)
Well, I had a dream where I had FOUR of them. I'm guessing that could bring in the tips. And the freaks.
ReplyDeleteLove Patricia Heaton on The Middle.
From one woman to another, it's nice to know you're pleased with your breasts. Me, not so much. These days, I feel that my boobs are letting me down. And "down" is very much the operative word. I so miss the perkiness of yesteryear!
ReplyDeleteFireblossom--I'm envious. "Just right" was a term I would have used in my 20's and 30's. Now...not so much.
ReplyDeleteLinda--Mopsy and Flopsy--meet Droopsy and Whoopsy.
Becky--You're right. Youth goes hand in hand with weird things.
Val--I haven't seen that show, but it sounds like one I should check out.
Katie--Mine have become diving rods. A bra with hydraulic lifts is required. Perky left the station decades ago. But now they're more multi-functioned, so I have to embrace what I can.
I forgot to say I LOVE the photo!! :D
ReplyDeleteSo will you ladies let me in the I-have-boobs club? I've never been a member. Nine months pregnant the best I could manage was a C-cup. Two raisins on a 2x4 describes my figure. In my younger days, I consoled myself by being able to go bra-less without offending anyone, and I never had to worry about tube tops sliding off. My only consolation now that I'm over 50 is that if they sag no one will notice. I've never had more than a happy handful. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteAu contraire, some of us do in fact pretty much live without them. I'm a member of Lisa's club. They're getting bigger as I age, but everything else is too so it doesn't count.
ReplyDeleteI have just enough for the rest of my body. I have enjoyed looking at them since I turned 40. I just wouldn't mind being in the same room with a dude so he can appreciate them. It's the one or two body parts a woman can use to slap a man anywhere and not get fussed at.
ReplyDeleteBreasts are awesome! It doesn't matter you age either because all dudes are checking them out.
Oh, and the word verification for this comment was "undera" and now "ovesses"
ReplyDeleteTee hee
I love this! :-) My brest are the only part of my body that I have always been completely happy with.
ReplyDelete