|photo by favourite waste of time|
St. Louis writer extraordinare, Linda O'Connell, was assaulted on Thursday. The assailant, still at large, is considered armed and dangerous.
Interviewed while the EMTs were evaluating her condition, Linda gave a detailed description. (Did we expect anything less from a writer?)
" 'At large' is an apt term. She had droopy breasts and gray roots indicating she was about five weeks overdue for a dye job. Perhaps the authorities might apprehend her in the hair coloring aisle at Target? And she was wearing the most butt-ugly shoes I've ever seen."
"I was about to sit down in a large, overstuffed chair at Barnes and Noble when this banshee came charging at me. She yanked the chair right out from under me and I landed on the floor.
As she ran off, the loon shrieked, 'Stop hogging all the publication credits. Let somebody else get into those Chicken Soup books.' The psycho's floppy breasts and wavy arm flaps caused a tornado-like effect. I was lifted up by the force and tumbled again to the floor."
Police are questioning members of St. Louis Writers Guild and Saturday Writers. O'Connell's injury necessitated that the injured body part be placed in a sling. Fortunately for the followers of her blog, as well as for the countless publications that depend on O'Connell's stories to fill their pages, her writing will continue uninterrupted...