The Pyrenees---Southern France

The Pyrenees---Southern France

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The Writing T-Shirt Pick Up Tale #2

         Well, if you didn't catch my last post, where I lured a man into my womanly web with my wiles and my writing T-shirt, I will sum it up quickly. (It's not worth providing a link for you, trust me. I ain't Pearl. My post's aren't worth rewarming for a second savoring.)

       So how did I attract my first "hunk," using just a writing T-shirt? Here is a succinct summary to get you up to speed:

  • I was in Santa Barbara in February on business with the National Writing Project.
  • We were in front of the city art museum, doing various things. At the time I caught this "fair" haired (white hair) man's eyes (which were probably failing as fast as his hairline), I was rolling around on the sidewalk and acting out a painting.
  • The man in question noticed my writing shirt ("Will write for food") and asked if I was a writer. When I told him I was a writer as well as a teacher, we got involved in a great conversation about writing.
      Since that time when my shirt sang out like a Siren, driving all men one elderly gentleman to total destruction to the point that he ended up losing a few minutes of his life that he can't get back, I've been plotting how to use the power of the writing shirt again. My scheming, my research, my extrapolations--everything came together this afternoon at Aldi's, my favorite grocery store.

      Same shirt. Different day.

      I had gotten checked out without a nibble. I was worried. Perhaps my shirt had lost all its mojo? But no...that old shirt magic had its hooks in someone.

      The security guard (there in case a couple of people got into a fistfight over the last box of frozen brussel sprouts) noticed my shirt and asked the same question: "Are you a writer?" Yes, and a teacher, too.

      In our short conversation, it was clear that this man was

  •  younger than my previous "catch"
  • drunk. Very, very drunk.
     The next time I bring out my writing shirt and unleash it, what kind of man will find it irresistable? Who will be my next prey?

      Your suspicions are welcome...


  1. There is no place to go but up! How about...Robert Downey Jr?

  2. You attract them! Maybe you should try the laundromat next. A drunk security guard, ha-ha.

  3. Maybe you just need a shirt that reads, "Will do ANYTHING for food." Bet that'll catch A LOT of guys. ;-)

    (Thanks again for that lovely comment re:imperfection. I'm thinking of calling my WIP "The Amish WIP #___.")

  4. Fireblossom--I LOVE Robert Downey, Jr. He's almost too talented for me to like, but he's kind of cute and he seems to have gotten back on track. I would need some cattle prods and strong bungee cords to trap HIM...

    Linda--You know it! I even attract weird, whacky women who snort and guffaw and snark.

    Cathy--I'm doing okay with my writing shirt. Maybe I should get a shirt that says, "Will do ANYTHING for Bolthouse Farms Vanilla Chai Tea"? (If you haven't tried it, it's heaven in a bottle.)

  5. A drunken wrangler of frozen brussels sprouts? Impressive!

  6. Dang! You're getting more action with that shirt than I get in Save A Lot with my bad haircut.

    I'm guessing that you could ambush some prey while in line at the DMV.

  7. Tammy--What can I say? Aldi's is a happenin' place in my neighborhood.

    Val--My shirt is available for rent...And yes, the DMV is a prime people-watching place, second only to traffic court.

  8. Very funny. Maybe I'll get me one of those shirts. Might be a good way to get some great story ideas.

  9. What a wonderfully entertaining blog and delightful comments aas well as suggestions! I wonder if other writers would actually throw food at you if you wore it to a writing group??

  10. Janet--I think the shirt only works if the person wearing it is frumpy, floppy and menopausal. Do you have what it takes to take on the mojo of the writing shirt?

    Jennifer--A week ago, I was willing to have kids throw plates of whipped cream at me. For a good cause, I would do it again...;)

  11. So the security guard was drunk? Wonder if it from guarding the frozen brussel sprouts?

  12. You could hang with Tammy and I'm sure you'll catch a winner!

  13. Donna--I would certainly have to drink a lot in order to consider brussel sprouts a valuable commodity...

    Lynn--Yes, Tammy is a magnet when it comes to winners. I think it's her tree shrew eyes that lure them in...

  14. I think all the WWWPs should have that shirt, and maybe something different can be printed on the back of each one. Like, yours might say "Man Eater," Tammy's might say, "I crap perfection," Lynn's would say, "WFFF," and Linda's would say, "Imelda Marcos of submissions." I don't know what mine would say. Yes I do, I just can't write it here...


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