The Pyrenees---Southern France

The Pyrenees---Southern France

Friday, February 22, 2013

Revealing Tidbits About the WWWPs

       Many people are clamoring about details about the twice-monthly meetings of the infamous writing critique group, the WWWPs.

       Oh, some of you try to namedrop, saying, "Well, I know Linda O'Connell," because Linda does lots of book talks, book signings, workshops and so on. When Chicken Soup clucks, there are at least a few feathers left fluttering around from Linda's backside plumage. She's co-authoring a Not Your Mother's Book for Publishing Syndicate. She's been around...

       And others will claim, "Lynn? I know her," because Lynn Obermoeller is a member of the St. Louis Writers Guild.  She was one of the writers whose work was featured in the anthology Storm Country, and was one of the talented twelve who made it into the Fifty Shades of Santa collection. She also is out there.

      But two of our group's members are elusive creatures. They are like those albino blind newts that live in caves. They were rarely sighted. Rumors are whispered about them, but no one is quite sure--what is fact and what is fiction?

     Here is what people are all frothing-at-the-mouth about. An expose' on Beth M. Wood, a founding member of the WWWPs.

      To put her into perspective, I am going to compare her to me (and everybody knows me):

      Beth                          Me

*  uses My Fitness Pal to remember         *  used My Fitness Pal for three  
    to eat enough                                        hours to try not to eat too much;
                                                                no instant weight loss meant I
                                                                tossed it aside

*  when she's really amused, she            * when I snort-laugh, people wonder
    snorts, and it's endearing                      what farm animal has broken out
                                                               of the barn

*  wears clothes that are in the               *  wears clothes that no longer have
    single digits--the LOW single                   numbers on the label--instead,
    single digits                                           clever euphemisms like "Queenly"
                                                                and "Cruise Ship" indicate the size

*  is 5'11'' in her bare feet                      *  is 5'5" in her Crocs

*  wears stylish belts around her              * wears tummy-control pantyhose
    tiny waist                                              like they're a boa constrictor

*  has long, dark-blonde hair                     * well, I do have hair...The color?
                                                                Let me find that box I just threw

*  was excited when--on the                     * was excited when I found a box of
    eve of a horrible snowstorm--                  brownie mix in the cupboard
    she found out they WERE having
    exercise boot camp the next

* has boobs, and both of them                   *  has boobs--they're now
   are where they're supposed to                    divining rods

*  is full after eating a tiny portion               * is full of **it when she says,
    of Lynn's lasagna                                      No more, thanks. I'm full,"
                                                                   when in reality she'd like to
                                                                   eat all six servings and then
                                                                   lick the plate clean

Beth M. Wood, at a book signing in December 2012
She has been published in several Chicken Soup for the Soul collections, in Sasee
along with many other publications

        The next time you see a tall, thin blonde writer, with a smile like Julia Roberts, you now can--with confidence--go up and say, "Hi, Beth." 

         But don't count on it happening too soon. After all, Beth hides in her lair, taking care of her young'uns and in her precious free time, is busy sending off writing submissions. The sightings of Beth are rare. But at least you know a few things about her now.

        (And Tammy, as you probably already suspect, you're the topic of my next expose.)


  1. Oh, Good LAWD! Thank you Sioux for that very endearing description of yours truly. From one Smart A*% to another, you do know, don't you, that paybacks are hell?!

    1. Beth--But I didn't lie about you at all. It was the truth, nothing but the truth.

  2. Laughing all the way to the bathroom. You pegged it, Sioux. Chicken feathers off my what?

    1. Onion Breath--I hope you had some "options" to help you out...

  3. Funny!

    I submitted and am in the first round of a NYMB. It's exciting!


    1. Pearl--That is incredibly exciting. Which book? (You could always come to St. Louis and do a book signing. ;)

  4. This was great! I have never even heard about Beth before. She's right, Beth, you do have a Julia Roberts smile.

    Kathy M.

    1. Kathy - I have never heard your name before either, but... I like you already!! Thanks for the very kind words ; )

    2. Kathy and Beth--I am sure the two of you would get along.

  5. You'd probably do well as a stand-up comedian. I just love your humor. Beth is great and I can't wait to hear what you have to say about Tammy!

    1. I DO do stand up every day, in front of 20 3rd graders...

  6. you still look fabulous !

    1. On my previous post, Anonymous, it was the horse you were speaking of when you commented, "You look marvelous." Is it still the horse you're entranced with?

      There ARE support groups for people like you, you know...

  7. Well, I suppose SOMEBODY has to drag the blind albino cave newts out into the light. Lynn must be quite a refined lady, seeing as how she's the only one you did not compare to an animal. Or perhaps you don't want to cut off the lasagna pipeline.

    1. Val--You hit the fatty food on the head. There is no way I want that lasagna pipeline to get clogged up or rediverted...

  8. I don't know how I missed this the first time around, but glad I got to laugh my way through it. You forgot to mention that she also jots off completed submissions on her lunch hour. Even though she gets full after two bites and has all that time left over, it's still impressive. :)


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