The Pyrenees---Southern France

The Pyrenees---Southern France

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

My Mama Didn't Tell Me...

       When I was growing up, my mother told me all about becoming a woman. At least, she told me about what becoming a woman would be like when I was a teenager. What she didn't tell me was what it would be like in my 40's and 50's.

        For example, my mom didn't give me a refresher course on gravity. What was once high and perky...eventually falls. Droops. Hangs in pendulous rolls. I would have appreciated that booster class in my 40's.

photo by Lyzlachian

       Also, my mother didn't tell me that I would be able to see the Grand Canyon--every day--just by looking in the mirror. The crevices in my face are deep and wide. I don't need no stinkin' mule trip to see this breathtaking sight (because I do stop breathing when I see the wrinkles and furrows in my face).

       And I've become texturized! Adding texture to painted walls is a wise decorating move, but skin tags? Not so attractive...

      Finally (at least for now), I wish my mother had let me know that I would resemble a seal when I got to be in my 50's. Whiskers in all sorts of weird places have appeared. They're long (by the time I catch sight of 'em) and are white.

      Yes, growing old is fun--and that's just the physical appearance part of it.  What bucket of fun have you opened up as you've gotten older? Old, forgetful but still inquiring minds want to know...

       

21 comments:

  1. I'm out in the sun (and all weather) a lot, and while my face is smooth except for around my eyes, my forehead is a wrinkle carnival, and I have freckles there, too. Or age spots, liver spots, something. My forehead looks 90, while the rest of me doesn't. Weird.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shay--A "wrinkle carnival." I love that phrase.

      I call them freckles. Never age spots or liver spots.

      Delete
  2. Those old geezers were not joking when they said they could forecast the weather by their aches and pains.

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    1. Val--I always thought my grandparents were funny when they predicted the weather with their knees. Now...it's not so funny.

      Delete
  3. I am going to hold tightly to my forties...!

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    Replies
    1. Beth--That's a wise idea. Thankfully for us WWWPs, more wrinkles form from frowning than smiling/laughing, and we do a LOT of laughing on Wednesdays...

      Delete
  4. My butt is still okay, but my stomach is square. I didn't even know that could happen. I no longer have a waist and I cannot tuck in my shirts any longer. Good thing that my jeans have a "slimming panel" built-in. Oh, yeah, I use L'Oreal, because I am worth it. Damn right!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kathy--I know. It's those unpleasant "surprises" that get faster and more frequent when we get to be our age.

      I'm worth L'Oreal, and I use it, too.

      Delete
  5. With age comes wisdom, including the knowledge to be careful when sneezing or coughing after consuming large quantities of liquids.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Donna--You started out seriously, and then took a left turn. Thanks for that.

      Delete
  6. My mother only told me my boobs would get bigger. She failed to mention that everything else would expand as well. *sigh*

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    Replies
    1. Lisa--But Roseanne Barr, in her early stand-up days, said that actually, they get "longer." In my case, that's more accurate.

      Delete
  7. Being in school has advantages with being old... you're not afraid to speak up, ask questions when you're clueless. I'm sure the professor will be glad to see when this semester ends. Every time I raise my hand, he says, "Yes Lynn." With the name Lynn rather drawn out like, oh not again. And one time, I said, "Don't take this the wrong way, as I don't mean to tell you how to teach, but..." HA.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Lynn--

      I think that is so funny, the way you prefaced your comment/suggestion with, "Don't take this the wrong way..." How else was he supposed to take it? ;)

      You're right. With age comes a "I-don't-give-a-flying-fig" attitude. And that's a good thing.

      Delete
  8. Dear Ms. Roslawski,
    I have to ask you something personal ... do you have a muse? How do you and your muse work together? Just curious ...
    Amiga Tejas

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Julie--I have a muse, but sometimes she ditches me, and leaves me in stranded...

      Howboutchou?

      Delete
  9. :-)

    I have two ridges between my eyebrows, caused by frowning in confusion at morons.

    Yep. I blame the morons.

    :-)

    Pearl

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  10. I knew some stuff would sag, but I was not prepared for jowls that could use a support garment.

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    Replies
    1. Tammy--Yes, I'm waiting for an all-in-one set of pantyhose. These pantyhose can be pulled all the way up to the top of a person's head. The gut, the breasts, the jowls--they will all get sucked into the supportive embrace of these new-fangled pantyhose...

      Delete
  11. Napping and how important it is as a parent or you will be the tiredest you have ever been in your entire life--okay, even with a cat nap every once in a while, often while sitting and typing at my computer, I am still so tired. Where does the energy go?

    ReplyDelete

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