- A good bra is great friend. Take the time to go to a real bra shop where a swarm of short, blue-haired women will hover around and take your measurements in a very unobtrusive manner (I promise), and after finding out your real bra size, you will leave a changed woman. No more bonus boob for you (you know what I mean--when you have a third breast in the middle, because your cups overfloweth...). If you're in the St. Louis/Wentzville area, I recommend Ann's Bra Shop. They are wonderful.
|photo by iamdogsmom|
|photo by patti white|
- Napping is delicious. While toddlers rail against taking a nap, when you're my age, you rail when you have a nap planned and something screws it up. Falling asleep in the middle of a Saturday afternoon while reading a marvelous book, a puddle of drool forming around your head, is even better...
|photo by wojszyca|
- Your eyesight is getting worse. Really, it's a good thing. When you look in the mirror, you cannot see all the lines and wrinkles and craters that are forming on your face unless...unless you get one of those magnifying mirrors, that makes your face 20x bigger than it actually is. Do not, under any circumstances, buy one of these mirrors. They are evil. (I used one that belonged to a friend, and I spotted Buzz Aldrin walking around. Scary!)
|sketch by david shepstone sketches|
- You seem formidable and trustworthy. Younger people are scared when you roar occasionally. They also believe anything you tell them, even when you're being extremely sarcastic. It's entertaining to mess with their minds. Really.
|photo by swrvler9284|
- People are easily surprised...They're surprised you did not just emerge from under a rock--gray-haired and grayish skin--where you've spent the last half of a century. And in their mind, while you were under that rock, you listened to nothing but Lawrence Welk. When you can sing along with a Train song or Lady Gaga, their mouths gape open, amazed. It's funny.
- Laughter is important. Look at life through humorous-colored glasses. And realize that it's crucial to make the ordinary seem extraordinary. Elevate a simple dinner into a gala affair with some candles and the "good" china. Sing along with your significant other--loudly--when "Me and Mrs. Jones" (and overexaggerate the lisp) comes on the car radio. And have fun...
|photo by nanettesol|