Writerly Friends

       Perhaps when you share your work with friends, you want them to gush. You want an outpouring of praise. In other words, you want to be part of a mutual admiration society.

       "I love this. It's great."
       "Oh, thanks but yours is so much better. Your   
          story is absolutely incredible." 
       "Thank you...You think so? Your images are
        simply phenomenal!"
         
         Yadda, yadda, yadda...
        
        If you share your work enough with people like this, you will need a thesarus with you at all times,  so you can get some words and phrases like "earth shattering" and "life changing" and "moving" and "chilling" sprinkled in with the normal great/fabulous/wonderful.

       However, if you are serious about writing, and you genuinely want to improve your story/poem/essay, you need to share your writing with people who are armed with spears.  And when they raise their spears, you need to raise up your shield and see where the spear points land.  And you need to write down where the dents are, so you don't forget...

photo by spaceninja

       With your writing, it's good to get constructive criticism.  A friend who can pick apart your work...one who reads with a writer's eye...a friend who is not afraid to make suggestions...That is the kind of friend a writer needs.

       Yesterday evening, Linda O'Connell , while she was busy doing the sacred "Snow Day" dance over and over again (it worked!), she made some time to look at a story of mine.  Not only did she read it, but she gave me a bunch of much-needed suggestions to improve it, she gave some specific images to jumpstart my revising, and she sent me several places for resubmitting the story.

        Now, that does not mean I agree with all her suggestions.  There is one I've got my heels dug in about, but I did not use the strategy well, so I will tweak it but keep the technique. However, when a writer re-examines their work to "make their case" about a word choice or metaphor, their writing becomes stronger. 

        Thanks, Linda.  I will resend you the story when it is revised.  And I want to know from all the blogging writers that might read this:  Who do you share your writing with when you want some real feedback?  How do they help you specifically?  After all,

    Writers do not let friends write crap.

"Talk is a Way to Warm Up..."

         Natalie Goldberg, in her brilliant Writing Down the Bones, writes that talking with friends is a great way to warm up to the task of writing.

     "I remember sitting after a concert in the New French Bar in downtown Minneapolis with a writing friend and telling her about how I became a Buddhist.  Because of the intensity of her listening, the story, which I had told many times, took on a great brilliance. I remember the light off the wineglass, the taste of my chocolate mousse. I knew then that I had to write the story--there was great material in it...
     Talk is a way to warm up for the big game--the hours you write alone with your pen and notebook. Make a list of all the stories you have told over and over. That's a lot of writing to be done."
                              ----Natalie Goldberg

photo by tianarenae3

        This came to mind recently when I was telling a colleague about a troublesome phase my daughter went through fifteen years ago.  The "phase" lasted for many years. In fact, I would often joke and say, "She's got her head so far up her butt, she...," and when she started making some sensible choices on the occasional basis, I'd say,"Once in a while, she sees something other than brown." (Now my daughter has grown into becoming the best mother I've ever seen; I'm proud of her for hundreds of reasons.)  

        After I finished telling the story, my friend said, "I"ve got goosebumps. That's quite a moving story."

         I've told this particular story countless times. But this one person's reaction made me examine my story with new eyes.  Deciding that it was indeed a story worth writing down, I clicked away on my laptop, revised it, then submitted it.  Since it was in late December when I sent it off, I'm still waiting for a response...

        Who do you get together with so you can gossip and laugh and bring stories to life?  Who do you warm up with, in preparation for the lonely task of writing?  

Katie Gates Writes

        I follow a number of blogs.  Sometimes too many for my feeble mind to keep up with.  Some of the blogs I follow are gut-bustingly funny.  Some are serious and introspective. Some are teaching blogs. Some are writing ones.

         However, I am never disappointed when Katie has a new post.  Today's is a gem.

          If you are 50-something, you remember bench seats--front and back--in cars.  No seat belts, which meant corners involved some sliding at times.  It was a time when mothers dropped their kids off at the toy department at Target, and the kids were safe wandering the aisles until mom was ready to check out.  

         Although it was a different way of life then, now that we are 50- or 60-something, we are now the middle of the "sandwich."  Some of us have children and grandchildren. Some don't.  Some are lucky enough to still have their elderly parents with them. Some are not.

         Read Katie's post.  It's entitled "The Distance From Our Corners." She can say it so much better than I can... 

(Katie's novel, The Somebody Who, would appeal to anyone who has older parents or anyone who hopes to be able to enjoy their parents when they become elderly.  She generously has quite a few excerpts on her blog to pique your interest.)

A Magpie Tale

      Thanks to Magpie Tales, there is a photo or drawing every Tuesday to prod you into writing.  Check out the site for many, many interesting takes.

      Here is mine:

          Dark song,
          with low, disconnected chords
          played out with a halting limp.

          A dirge.
          A hymn to play
          to honor the dead.

          The past is gone,
          and life as we know it
          will never return...

What Teachers REALLY Do on Snow Days

         My students think I get disappointed when school is not in session.  When I tell them at dismissal, "We might not have school tomorrow--so sad--and if that's the case, you will have extra time to..."

        I add a wink in when I express how regretful I will be if we get a snow day.  My brighter kids get my true intentions before the wink even happens.  Some of my slower kids try to argue with me, telling me they think it would be great if school was called off. 

        Don't get me wrong.  I enjoyed our holiday break.  I would have loved to have another few days tacked onto it, but I was genuinely glad to see my kids when January 3rd rolled around.

        However, snow days are another thing...

        Snow days are like a gift from the gods.  They are an unexpected day to do...whatever.  Snow days are a nod from above, telling us 'We know you lead too hectic of a life, so here's a span of time, and life as you know it is suspended for one whole day.'

photo by Wowpictures

       This is what my students probably think I do when I am not at school:

• use sharpie markers to make the circles under my eyes darker
• comb the hair (gray!) that has the ambition to become a full-blown mustache
• practice my broom-flying skills
• devise new ways to torture them through writing and math assignments

      However, when this morning rolled around, the possibility did not look too hopeful. At 3:30, the snow did not look too deep.  Would there be enough inches on the ground to cancel school?  Or, would I have to drag myself to work, surly, because I had counted my snow day before it had hatched arrived?

       This is what I really did this morning:

4:00 A.M.  Turned on the TV, even though the "real" (main") closings don't begin until an hour later. 
4:02  Switched channels several times.  No mention yet...Went back to sleep.
5:00  Turned on the TV again.  After looking at several channels, I have the schools--the ones that are close alphabetically to my district-- memorized, and when mine is skipped over, I groan.
5:00-5:19  Kept changing the channel on the TV, trying to find the station that would deliver the good news first.
5:20  I see my district's name at the bottom of the TV screen.
5:20:2  I scream and jump into the air.
5:21  I watch again, to make sure it was not a mirage.
5:22  I call the teacher "below" me on the phone chain, and then I call several other teachers (just because I want to share the good news).  
5:25  Hug the dogs extra tightly, and tell them what a fun day it is going to be for them.
5:30-7:00  Read "The Help" until I only have 70 more pages til the end.  I decide that will be my afternoon "treat."
7:00 Shout at my (now awake) husband:  "No school today!"  He rolls his eyes, mutters something under his breath, and tries to escape my squealing and shrieking.

Later on in the day, I ate a few things (nothing bad, which was miraculous), did some knitting, did a session of our new exercise program (only lasted for 30 minutes; the hour was impossible to even contemplate) and finished "The Help."

photo by Christina007

       So tomorrow, unless we get a bunch more snow dumped on us tonight, we'll be back in school.  We'll have our normal routine, and that's a good thing, because I'm glad to have the 25 kids I have. I'm grateful for the job I have.  But I definitely enjoyed this day of playing hooky...

photo by Shutterbee by Liz

       

Legalize Freedom

photo by kameraurmel

          My friend "M" * works in a school as a teacher.  As all teachers are overwhelmed these days with state testing pressure and crazy parents and (occasionally) lazy colleagues, faculty meetings are not fun.

        Imagine you are a lobster, put in (still alive) into a pot of boiling water.  That's what it's like being a teacher these days...

       During a recent staff meeting, the principal spoke of how they "journaled" during administrative meetings.  This particular principal writes in their notebook to calm down.  They write things down so they don't say them aloud during the meeting.

      When the principal recounted this, "M" said she journals as well during our faculty meetings.  (I should tell you that "M" is very religious.  Probably "spiritual" is a better adjective.  She is not one of those people who goes to church but then treats people in an unkind fashion.  She is a gentle soul who constantly tries to reach out to others, she bends over backwards to avoid offending anyone. "M" is the kind of person who always tries to make allowances for people's boorish behavior, by examining what they might be going through.  She has had many obstacles in her own life, and her faith is an integral part of who she is.)

       Unfortunately, "M's" best friend is "R,"  who is a heathen.  "R" goes out of her way to offend people who are boorish.  She is intolerant of those who are lazy or those who whine or those who hate kids but continue to work with kids or...The list goes on for quite a while. 

       Anway, at the end of the staff meeting, a colleague asked "M" if she would mind reading what she had just written in her journal, knowing what a kind and gentle person "M" is.  Perhaps this would help uplift the faculty, after all the twice-monthly doom and gloom we get heaped on us...

       "M" obliged.  Horrors!  The "G" word was mentioned.  Heaven help us!  Jesus' name might have been uttered.  Anyway, it was just one person's thoughts and beliefs.

        The next day, the poop hit the rotating ceiling paddles.  Another colleague was "offended." 

        Now, if someone was offended by "R," that would not have surprised anyone.  That happens on an hourly basis.  But offended by "M" was shocking to most.

          Was the offended Buddhist?
          Do they belong to a Wicca group?  (not sure how to word that...sorry.)
          Are they Muslim?
          Are they atheist?
         Are they agnostic?

        "R" was not sure, but it was none of her business.  "M" wrote up a little apology and gave a copy to each staff member.

       A few days later, it was "M" and "R's" turn to cook chili for everyone, along with their two grade-level colleagues.

      Since "R" does not eat red meat, she made meatless chili.  Not wanting to offend, she wrote a sign and taped it in front of the crockpot.

       This is meatless chili.  I embrace the no-red meat lifestyle.  I hope I am not offending anyone by offering this chili for your consumption.  I am not expecting you to embrace my lifestyle.  I am not making you enjoy this meatless chili.  I am not physically forcing you to consume it.  It is just here if you care to partake..."

       The principal refolded the sign, so all that showed was "This is meatless chili." Apparently someone was offended yet again...

photo by LoveVickyx

*  Initials are used to protect the guilty (in the case of "R") and the innocent (in the case of "M").

Welcome to my newest follower, Kayenta.  I don't know much about her, but she has started following several teaching blogs. Kayenta--I follow a few educational blogs myself. Check them out, and thanks for following...