Ladies, please pay close attention. This information will change life as you know it:
If you are size 8 or larger, you are "plus size." *
* (according to the fashion industry)
So, while you are wallowing in a mixing bowl full of ice cream, followed by a mashed potato chaser, here's something else to add to the depressing funk.
Check out the back label of the granny panties you're wearing. What size is it?
The underwear I wear is labeled XL (or "grande." Do they think that makes it more "festive" and fun?).
Now, most of my blogging buddies have not seen what I look like but trust me, I have a big butt. It's not big in the Jennifer Lopez-Beyonce way. It's big in more of the slow moving-truck-hogging-up-the-highway-with-its-wide-load-sign way. It's flat and broad.
photo by flickrway |
Every time I see that "XL" inked onto the back of my bloomers, it makes me wonder. Yes, I know my rear has spread in a cellulite version of imminent domain, but I know there are lots of rears that are larger than mine. Lots. (Just watch Jerry Springer to see some especially fine specimens.)
And that's when I start wondering. Underwear has a number size (I'm not telling you the number that I wear) as well as the "XL/Grande." What do the larger sizes say if my butt (a median butt, with an extra dollop or two thrown in) is "Grande"?
And when did we start viewing women that are a size 8 as huge?
Aren't you brave telling all. My Xs shall remain forever unknown. I guess I should have said X. Seriously, who cares what the fashion industry thinks? And the older I get, the more I couldn't care less what anybody thinks. Especially after seeing that three hundred pound woman yesterday wearing WHITE stretch legging pants with a short shirt. Made me appreciate my big old butt. I don't object to stretch pants as long as the shirt stretches over the jelly belly, mine that is.
ReplyDeleteI'm a size 14. Suck it, fashion industry. Two words: Crytal Renn!
ReplyDeleteSize 8 is but a distant memory. Luckily, I'm no fashionista.
ReplyDeletePat
www.critteralley.blogspot.com
My guess would be Double Extra Grande Half-Calf. "I know my rear has spread in a cellulite version of imminent domain...." Omg, I love it!!! And honestly, as a plus-sizer (by those standards), I've wondered the same thing!
ReplyDeleteWhoa! Anything bigger than an "8" is considered a plus size? I say you fire that radio station!!
ReplyDeleteI have a good-sized butt,
Pearl