Try out a poem or vignette. Try out a Magpie Tale. (And you'll be delighted with a crystal-clear photo, along with inspiring writing...)
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| photo by fakebread |
Randy's Eyes
Out of his head
for their occasional cleaning,
they sat.
Blue,
unseeing,
just like Randy.
Wallowing in sorrow,
strumming angst-filled songs,
he fled...
Blind to all he left behind.
(Poet's Note: My first boyfriend---the first one I did not stalk, the first one who returned my affections, the first one who did not give me, as a sign of their affection, an Army jacket pin to wear--was Randy who was blind and who did have his eyes taken out occasionally for "cleaning.")
This is very touching. Your last line is so bleak, so sad.
ReplyDeleteDoubly sad in its double meaning. What an image to start the day with!
ReplyDeleteWow. That's a powerful piece. All the more so with your Poet's Note!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. And thanks for including your notes about Randy.
ReplyDeleteThat,s a lovely piece of writing. Love it!
ReplyDeleteLantern Peems
Very nice, indeed.
ReplyDeleteIt's an amazing write. I love the last line.
ReplyDeleteA very efficient piece of work.
ReplyDeleteNot a superfluous word, but the ones you have are telling.
Excellent.
wow, yes the story feels real. authentic.
ReplyDeleteI was blown away by how much you said with so few words. This will be a favorite of mine.
ReplyDeleteGreat wordplay here. This is a little gem.
ReplyDeleteEasy to understand the angst thing...the shame was not knowing what he left behind. Excellent use of language and wordplay to make the point. Vb
ReplyDelete...and eerie,too.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your take on the image.
ReplyDeleteI also saw you are from St Louis too. I am now in the Lake of the Ozarks area now. So howdy neighbor. :) Have a great week.
Very nice. I especially like that he was blind to what he left behind...
ReplyDeletePearl
This poem is simply beautiful and touching.
ReplyDeleteVery moving piece, Sioux.
ReplyDeleteI hope the 'cleaning' gave him some clarity about the sadness that engulfed him.
ReplyDeleteA strong piece.
The last sentence is a true gem.
ReplyDeletewow- this poem is so poignant and sad.
ReplyDeleteAnd thnks for your comments on my two poems. You mentioned having problems using the photo from Magpie Tales- did you try just left clicking and dragging the image onto your desktop? That's what works for me. Just a suggestion. Cheers.
Excellent indeed.
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]
Such a great read!
ReplyDeletePowerfully provocative piece!
ReplyDeleteBoth the poem and the note really balance each other..good that you tried non-stalking..I'm curious about the stalking adventures..perhaps??
ReplyDeleteThe poem is great - the photo creeps me out more than the original Magpie for some reason. And the notes about Randy and the ones who were not him were intriguing. Please do tell more!
ReplyDeleteGreat Magpie!
This is really beautiful and melancholy. Wonderful job
ReplyDelete