The Pyrenees---Southern France

The Pyrenees---Southern France

Monday, June 6, 2011

Magpie Tale #68

     This is written for the prompt on Magpie Tales; it was a photo of a fake (let's hope it's fake) eyeball. I could not save it and post it here, so I found something on flickr.com as similar as I could.

       Try out a poem or vignette. Try out a Magpie Tale. (And you'll be delighted with a crystal-clear photo, along with inspiring writing...)


photo by fakebread

Randy's Eyes

Out of his head
for their occasional cleaning,
they sat.

Blue,
unseeing,
just like Randy.

Wallowing in sorrow,
strumming angst-filled songs,
he fled...

Blind to all he left behind.

(Poet's Note: My first boyfriend---the first one I did not stalk, the first one who returned my affections, the first one who did not give me, as a sign of their affection, an Army jacket pin to wear--was Randy who was blind and who did have his eyes taken out occasionally for "cleaning.")

28 comments:

  1. This is very touching. Your last line is so bleak, so sad.

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  2. Doubly sad in its double meaning. What an image to start the day with!

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  3. Wow. That's a powerful piece. All the more so with your Poet's Note!

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  4. Beautiful. And thanks for including your notes about Randy.

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  5. That,s a lovely piece of writing. Love it!

    Lantern Peems

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  6. It's an amazing write. I love the last line.

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  7. A very efficient piece of work.
    Not a superfluous word, but the ones you have are telling.
    Excellent.

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  8. wow, yes the story feels real. authentic.

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  9. I was blown away by how much you said with so few words. This will be a favorite of mine.

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  10. Great wordplay here. This is a little gem.

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  11. Easy to understand the angst thing...the shame was not knowing what he left behind. Excellent use of language and wordplay to make the point. Vb

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  12. I really enjoyed your take on the image.
    I also saw you are from St Louis too. I am now in the Lake of the Ozarks area now. So howdy neighbor. :) Have a great week.

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  13. Very nice. I especially like that he was blind to what he left behind...

    Pearl

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  14. This poem is simply beautiful and touching.

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  15. I hope the 'cleaning' gave him some clarity about the sadness that engulfed him.


    A strong piece.

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  16. The last sentence is a true gem.

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  17. wow- this poem is so poignant and sad.
    And thnks for your comments on my two poems. You mentioned having problems using the photo from Magpie Tales- did you try just left clicking and dragging the image onto your desktop? That's what works for me. Just a suggestion. Cheers.

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  18. I guess other people have used the word "poignant" before, to describe this poem, and while I am inclined to say the same as an initial reaction to reading it, I did want to add that in its succinctness, it belies the intense life experience that went before. On another note, I can't believe you praise my writing and stuff when really it you who has always been the "guru" and me who is in awe of your ability. Great poem, but I have to say, "I feel you" when you say what you say in it.

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  19. By the way, I also thought that the "Poet's Note" had a very lyrical quality to it. See? It just flows from your fingers, this ability to mold wonders from what most of us regard to be just "words". :)

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  20. Both the poem and the note really balance each other..good that you tried non-stalking..I'm curious about the stalking adventures..perhaps??

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  21. The poem is great - the photo creeps me out more than the original Magpie for some reason. And the notes about Randy and the ones who were not him were intriguing. Please do tell more!
    Great Magpie!

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  22. This is really beautiful and melancholy. Wonderful job

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Thanks for your comments. I appreciate you taking the time to stop by...