The Pyrenees---Southern France

The Pyrenees---Southern France

Thursday, September 22, 2011

If I Can't Have Writing Talent Like Her, I Can Have a Butt Like Her

          Last night was our twice-monthly writing critique group. I will have to devote another post or two to the great advice I got, but today, I'm going to touch on a few of the uber-important topics we discussed last night.

1. Flatulence. Yes, it's not just for medical journals anymore. One of the writers wrote an explosive piece on the problems of gas (not her own). She dropped the bombs in our laps (the copies of her story) and then left the room. At one point, I had to warn, "We'd better not laugh too hard, or we might get flatulent." It was one of the funniest pieces I've ever encountered. It was not silent but it was definitely deadly...

2. Ways to get rid of aggravating husbands. Wood chippers and nail guns were the weapons of choice last night. Wood chippers (manned by the wives) and nail guns (just leave them on a workbench...the bumbling men will do the rest) were the two techniques covered last night.

3. Teachers who blame their students and wives who blame whole-city sewage systems (see # 1). Those treacherous teachers, when gas cannot be avoided, will silently unload, and then race to another part of the room. Students invariably blame their classmates, and the educator has escaped from the stink they left behind.

4.  The value of pretend boyfriends...absent husbands...crazy ex-husbands who remain firmly "ex."

5. Nora Ephron's rear end. I'm sure she doesn't have a wide-load derriere. However, she should. We ate Nora Ephron's spaghetti last night, and the level of deliciousness had major butt-expanding potential.

This is only the third of our get-togethers, but each time it gets better...the writing suggestions, the conversation, the feeling of kinship.



  1. I wish I could have been there. Anytime flatulence shows up, fun does, too. You gals are a gas! I'm going to twitter this post!

  2. Oooh, I am so envious of y'all! You have so much fun!

  3. Ya know, there is a theme to these meetings...recurring in #2 above...I believe last time it was frozen meat. Ya know that book Tammy's friend is writing about story-telling? And the one Linda is working on? Well, I'm thinking we pull our collectively-dishelved heads together and write one...
    86 Ways to 86 a Spouse (or ex-spouse, as it were).

    Tammy's story was Exceptional. Exceptionally well written and exceptionally funny. But, please, Sioux, give yourself some props, will ya? That story of yours was hilarious, too! I don't know if I can write humor, but I'm thinking you girls inspired me last night and I'm gonna give it a shot.

    Love our group and am so happy to be a part of it!

  4. Sioux, Well you summed it up succinctly. It was a gas!

  5. HA HA, funny and I agree with Beth, give yourself some credit too. You had some laugh out loud stuff yourself. I love laughing so hard I could fart, but I'm really glad that I didn't! I don't think I could ever write humor the way you two write it. But I'm inspired also!

  6. Sioux,

    You are so funny. I love the title of your post and am glad you have found such a great group.

    Remind me to tell you sometime about my embarrassing gas story!


  7. I'll have to remember that what happens in the writing group...gets written about. But that's okay because, as you know, nothing is sacred with we writers. It just pretty much spews out like...oh...what is the analogy I'm looking for...? But that's okay because we can just nail it. And that spaghetti. Oh my.


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