The Pyrenees---Southern France

The Pyrenees---Southern France

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

A Funeral...Will It Be Suicide or Homicide?

       



         Tomorrow I am going to a funeral. The death has not happened yet, and it remains to be seen whether it will be ruled as death by their own hands or by my hands.

       Will they leap onto the blades of the scissors on their own, in an effort to end their misery? Or will they rail against their imminent demise, the instinct to live overruling what they know is the truth...that they are pathetic and not even fit for yard work anymore.  

       The friends I will be memorializing are loyal. They're always there, waiting to be of service. They've survived being chewed on by my dog, they no longer feel springy, and they're currently sporting dribbles of Mod Podge...and yet they still are proud when I reach out for them.

        The service will be held at Bronx Diba, a shoe store in the St. Louis area. Any sympathy cards and casseroles will be gratefully accepted as I try to cope during this period of mourning.

        (Sob.)

        (Sniff.)

20 comments:

  1. Go for it! Forget the flip flops and frumpys and tempt your tootsies with reckless abandon. Have fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda--I am never "wreck-less." But I DID have fun...

      Delete
  2. I second Linda's motion! (Although I bought a really cute pair of heels a few weeks ago and could barely walk in them. Ugh. So much for reckless abandon.)

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    Replies
    1. Dianna--I compromised and bought a pair of wedges. They SEEM like they will be comfortable. We'll see...

      Delete
  3. Time for a change? I love shoe stores so have a good time!

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    Replies
    1. Claudia--I love shoes too, but you can't tell from looking at me.

      Delete
  4. I have a pair of flip flops that are falling apart. I only ever use them in the yard but l knew that it was time for a new pair when I considered using duct tape to keep them together.

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    Replies
    1. Birdie--I knew it was time to "kill" the Crocs when my friends and family refused to go anywhere with me if I had on the black Crocs...

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. Val--Yes, the Crocs were killed by scissors last night. However, I found out there are Crocs with heels (very low ones) so I am going to check them out.

      Delete
  6. Oh, now I'm missing my boots. I loved those boots. They were such good boots.

    *sniffle*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cathy--Get another pair. And wear them and wear them and wear them until they are again the most comfortable shoes in your closet.

      Yes, despite their ugliness, I already miss my black Crocs...

      Delete
  7. Can't wait to see your new wedges! Or is that wedgies? I'm not a shoe person.

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  8. Lynn--Are you saying I have my granny panties crammed into the crack of my rear end? ;)

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  9. I'm with Dianna - maybe don't bury the crocs six feet under. I finally replaced my manly-looking B.U.S.es because they have a tear in the side. Though I paid a fortune for the new ones and they claim to be foot-friendly, by the end of the day I'm convinced they are trying to strangle my feet to death. So I dug out the dead B.U.S.es again. I'm considering duct tape. Hope you have better luck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tammy--Rest assured--I still have my tan Crocs.

      Delete
  10. Crocs rock! I even wear the ugly ones to work sometime, my desire for comfort trumping my shame.

    There's a Crocs store in Hazelwood (at the outlet mall). I bought some deck shoes - comfy!

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  11. Kim--I agree. Comfort will strangle the life out of shame, once you get to be a certain wise age...

    ReplyDelete
  12. I will play a slow rendition of taps for your dearly departed.

    Pat
    Critter Alley

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pat--My daughter and my friend--who both HATE my Crocs--hooped and hollered when my black Crocs gasped their last breath.

      Delete

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