How Much to Corral?

       I just finished Carly Simon's memoir, Boys in the Trees. I was intrigued, because I'd read a story that James Taylor no longer speaks to Carly Simon. Because they were two of my favorites as I was growing up (more accurately, I had a huge crush on James Taylor for many years, and Simon was the skank woman who spoiled my chances with him), I was excited to read her memoir. 

          (Seriously, Simon's album "No Secrets" is one I still remember, even though it's been over four decades since I last heard it.)


      I was surprised by the book. And impressed. From her, there was no mud-slinging, despite lots of serious "shenanigans" on the part of James Taylor.

                        
                              Here's Simon and Taylor in the middle of their
                                  happy days, singing "Mockingbird." It's fun to
                                  see James Taylor so loose and whimsical...

                                  And check out her jumpsuit. Those used to be 
                                  all the rage when I was in high school.

      The stuff that she obviously kept private--it made me think of the memoir pieces, along with fiction, that I write.

       What details do I reveal about family members and friends? Which ones do I keep private? If they'd be hurtful to share, the decision is easy. But what about those relatives and close friends who are are extremely protective of their privacy? I might know some details about them that wouldn't necessarily be embarrassing but nonetheless, people might prefer to keep them from becoming public.

       And then there's fiction. Do I take all the stuff I know about my characters and throw the whole heap into the corral, so it can wheel around in circles and kick up its heels in wild abandon? Or should I let some of the details loose... and not include them?

      How do you decide what to keep to yourself and what to keep on paper? Too-wordy minds want to know...