The Pyrenees---Southern France

The Pyrenees---Southern France

Monday, February 29, 2016

How Much to Corral?

       I just finished Carly Simon's memoir, Boys in the Trees. I was intrigued, because I'd read a story that James Taylor no longer speaks to Carly Simon. Because they were two of my favorites as I was growing up (more accurately, I had a huge crush on James Taylor for many years, and Simon was the skank woman who spoiled my chances with him), I was excited to read her memoir. 

          (Seriously, Simon's album "No Secrets" is one I still remember, even though it's been over four decades since I last heard it.)


      I was surprised by the book. And impressed. From her, there was no mud-slinging, despite lots of serious "shenanigans" on the part of James Taylor.



                        
                              Here's Simon and Taylor in the middle of their
                                  happy days, singing "Mockingbird." It's fun to
                                  see James Taylor so loose and whimsical...

                                  And check out her jumpsuit. Those used to be 
                                  all the rage when I was in high school.

      The stuff that she obviously kept private--it made me think of the memoir pieces, along with fiction, that I write.

       What details do I reveal about family members and friends? Which ones do I keep private? If they'd be hurtful to share, the decision is easy. But what about those relatives and close friends who are are extremely protective of their privacy? I might know some details about them that wouldn't necessarily be embarrassing but nonetheless, people might prefer to keep them from becoming public.

       And then there's fiction. Do I take all the stuff I know about my characters and throw the whole heap into the corral, so it can wheel around in circles and kick up its heels in wild abandon? Or should I let some of the details loose... and not include them?

      How do you decide what to keep to yourself and what to keep on paper? Too-wordy minds want to know...



18 comments:

  1. Not an obvious crush but then, who am I to talk? I have a huge 9and inexplicable crush on Martin Clunes ...). Yours is a really difficult question to answer ... I used to write fiction regularly on a blog that has long since disappeared and had an ongoing story that was not so loosely based on me which meant that inevitably it included people I know. I think part of it depends on who is likely to read it. I write freely about people who don't know about my blog but I do change names and some details but I'm more circumspect about others. I think that generally if you don't feel totally comfortable with it or you think they may not then you either leave it out or change it enough so that it isn't directly connected to them (even if they would still recognise themselves). I don't know, I'm not sure I've helped at all because it's something I think everyone struggles with. All I know is that if I'm hesitating to hit publish then I probably shouldn't (and I have plenty of those moments!).

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    1. Sarah--But perhaps you need to sometimes overcome that hesitancy (to hit publish)?

      I guess I'm going to have to look up Martin Clunes...

      And for your sake, I hope your acquaintances don't find out about your blog. ;)

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  2. I never have a clue what to share so I just keep it minimal. That said, JT was the pr**k keeping Carly away from me back then. If he just HAD to have her he could have at least set me up with one of her sisters. They are all smart, talented, and beautiful.

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    1. Jono--If JT had kept away from carly, you and I would now both to be married to talented singers-songwriters. (Yeah, right.)

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  3. I'm wrestling with the exact same questions here! I don't know where to go next on writing.

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    1. Claudia--Knowing your writing reputation, I'm sure you'll find your way soon...

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  4. I struggle in essays and fiction with the delicate balance between what to leave in and what to leave out. I admit to inserting actual events in my life as well as stories from others into my fiction to give them a ring of truth. Although truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.
    To keep with your analogy, if everything is heaped into a big pile, someone is going to step on something that might stink.

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    1. Donna--Those stinky, steamy piles--THAT is what I want to avoid.

      And you're absolutely right. Sometimes truth IS stranger than fiction...

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  5. I tend to be very cautious when writing about others in essays, but I'm pretty bold with fiction. After all: "Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental." ;-)

    Pat
    Critter Alley

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    1. Pat--I imagine you could write boldly about Winston, and he wouldn't ever think of suing you...

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  6. I try to find a balance between authentic writing and not offending?

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    1. Linda--You manage to do that very well. I've learned so much from you over the years...

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  7. I have filled more than my share of corrals...

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    1. Val--(In reference to Donna's comment) Would you be willing to help me "clean up" my corral?

      No?

      Oh well. I guess I'd better start shoveling...

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  8. For memoir stuff, I err on the conservative side in terms of what to share. For fiction, the characters decide how much to share. Sometimes they surprise me!

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    1. Lisa--I love that you let the characters (when it comes to fiction) determine their path. Perhaps when you're doing an author talk sometime, you can include some of those "surprises."

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  9. Yep, it can be a slippery slope there, Sioux. With an essay, I try to tell stories on myself mostly, but if someone else is involved, I might run it by him or her if I think it's too personal. My kids and the Beneficent Mr. Hall are used to me by now, though, so they've pretty much given up on shutting me up. :-)

    Fiction--the gloves are off. Anything is fair game (cleverly disguised, of course. Truly, I have NEVER had someone say, "Hey, isn't that your Great Aunt Tillypoo? When I've practically done everything but call a character Great Aunt Tillypoo! We see what we want to see)! :-)

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    1. Cathy--I agree about the fiction. If a character has some obvious flaws, who wants to stand up and say, "Hey, is such-and-such character--the one with the pock-marked face and horrendous breath... is that character based on me?

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