She'd blog if she remembered,
But last night a puddle of drool
Reminded her that hormones still rule!
She got up this morning, glanced in the mirror
and screamed without warning...
Her mustache hairs had gone wild---
They were white and wiry and looked riled
up. "Why is aging so rough?
My breasts have grown long enough!
This Christmas season, I want no jewels,
Nor do I want any kitchen tools.
No chic, new, stylish clothes
Or even cute socks that warm my toes.
Instead I'd like a fleet of personal trainers---
And who would they be? That's a no-brainer!
Viggo (Mortensen) to run with me across the plains,
Johnny (Depp), on his guitar he'd strum
While I thump on my belly like a big bass drum.
photo of Johhny Depp by skittleydoo04 |
photo of Viggo Mortensen by Arnthor |
and Benecio (Del Toro) would teach me not to care--
Not being able to stop traffic with my looks
is less important that nibbling on chocolate while reading a great book.
photo of Mark Harmon by nathfromfrance |
photo of Benecio Del Toro by elezde |
So, this Christmas, all I want are my two front teeth
(to stay put, 'cause my gums are receding)
And a band of brave men--that's all that I'm needing..."
HaHa!! You're such a hoot! To your list I would have to add Hugh Jackman. :)
ReplyDeleteOMG Sioux, this is so funny. I am not alone in this wild haired world. This blogpsot was easier on my old eyes. The gray background and print makes my eyes strain.
ReplyDeleteThanks for keeping the fantasy alive too.
You are so hilarious, Sioux! That is the main reason I wanted you to be on the SW board with me! We can laugh our way into the funny farm! :)
ReplyDeleteToo funny for words, and I love the photos.
ReplyDelete