ABC--Arachnids' Brazen Counterattacks

          I had a weird experience with a spider earlier this week. Thought it was an isolated incident. A "Sioux-thing," much like getting my head stuck in a sink. Something not worthy of talking about.

          But then, I read Val's post. And I smelled something fishy. Or closer to the truth, I smelled something eight-legged and hairy.

          Tuesday evening I killed two spiders. The only thing I had handy was an empty QT (Quik Trip) cup (plastic), and since the bottom is hollowed out a bit, I really had to work to get the dirty deed done. But I did.

          Wednesday evening, I saw another spider. I was prepared this time, with a shoe. But apparently, this spider had been witness to the arachnicide the night before--it was prepared as well--because as I headed toward the spider, it wheeled around so that it faced me, and charged at me.

photo by C.J. Newberry

           Sadly (for the spider), it did not end well. But it made me wonder what other odd encounters people have had with animals.

           And what would happen if we were all like that spider? What would happen if when we were attacked, we immediately armed ourselves for our own self-defense? To defend our way too frequent occasional use of the ellipsis...To defend our deliberate use of sentence fragments...What would life be like?

           Certainly, most of the feedback we get as writers is constructive. Helpful. Nothing offensive. So thankfully, we don't often have to do what that brazen spider did.

            Tomorrow I'm going to Chicago for a National Writing Project workshop. I'll be off the blogosphere and the submissionsphere for three solid days. And for those clamoring for another story from the "Sioux's shirt" vault, I am bringing my "Will Write for Food" shirt, but since I will be trapped in work sessions most of the time, it's unlikely anyone will be lured by my siren-song of a shirt.

           But, you never know...

Why Write?

 a Savage Chickens cartoon by Doug Savage

      Doug Savage, over at Savage Chickens, almost always makes me laugh. He draws wonderful cartoons, usually featuring chickens, and he does it all on post-it notes. Amazing!

       And while I chuckled, I wondered...Why indeed? Why do we write? It rarely pays--or doesn't pay much--and it can be incredibly frustrating and time-consuming. So why do we continue sitting down to a blank page day after day?

       Of course, if you're Pearl, you write because you have 1.8 million followers (and every day, 217 more add themselves to the list). She manages to conjure incredibly hilarious urban tales about riding the bus and her cubicle mates and her cats. If she didn't post, a disgruntled mob would rise up and wreak havoc.

          If you're Fireblossom or Mama Zen, who write mind-blowing, teeth-gnashing poetry (you gnash your teeth because you didn't write it), you write because...well, I guess they write because they must. Their words and their thoughts must be like a geyser that has to find a way to vent. (And if you're Marcia Gaye, another poet friend of mine, you write because you're so good at it and you win local and state poetry contests. (Has the madness gone beyond Missouri, Marcia? Let me know...)

      If you're Val, you write because the're a geyser inside of you, too, but it's a geyser of snarkiness. I think, if Val did not write, one of her kids or her bumbling husband or  one of the goats or chickens would...well, I think something unexpectedly horrific would happen to them. Plus, she likes to flaunt her knowledge of Seinfeld (she and I often have duels, but she is always the victor), along with every other television show, movie and song that's ever been written.

      If you're Donna Volkenannt, you write because you have to keep your pen limber for the next international Erma Bombeck humor contest. (She was the most recent winner.) Or the next anthology to come out. When a collection comes out, you'll invariably find a story by Donna.

     If you're Linda O'Connell, a fellow WWWP, you write because your keyboard's on fire. Linda has a writing goal, and she's burning to achieve it. (Ask her what the goal is. She might tell you.)

    And if you're one of the other WWWPs (Wild Women Wielding Pens)--Lynn Obermoeller, T'Mara Goodsell, or Beth M. Wood--you write because you're prodded and encouraged and cajoled and begged to write. The five of us support each other and keep each other on the writing path...

      Doug Savage, on his little biographical page, spoke about being an artist. He said, "Creativity is a bit like a stubborn weed that won’t die: the roots run deep enough that it will keep growing back under the right conditions."

        What simile would you use to describe the writing process or creativity? Or, what are the "roots" of your writing like? 



Unless You Have Sugar...

         I read a great quote recently, a twist on another really old quote. It went something like, "If you take lemon and turn it into lemonade, unless you're also adding water and some sugar, you're going to have really sour lemonade."

        On Monday I got the news that my story, "There's No Ceiling On Dreams," will be published in the Chicken Soup for the Soul's The Power of Positive. (It will go on sale on October 23.)

        That positive news helps sweeten up some of the setbacks that all writers have. No news. Bad news. Waiting-on-pins-and-needles...nothing new about that. 

        My story is about when my students and I each hung up a cloud from the ceiling of our classroom. We each put our dream on a cloud. Who knew what the impact of magic markering unspoken dreams onto posterboard would be...

        If we don't sweeten up our life of writing, it gets bitter. Facing rejection on a regular basis is tough, so we have to put some pockets of pleasure into our routine--otherwise we'd give up. 

        What do you do to keep yourself going? What technique do you use...what activity do you engage in...what mantra do you mumble to sweeten up your writing life?

(How would you like to sit back in a comfy chair and listen to C. Hope Clark talk about writing? You can, if you go here. It's a wonderful podcast, jam-packed with humor and self-deprecation and advice.)

       
       
           

        

You're a Poet...And You Might Not Even Know It

          Fireblossom was asked to tell 7 things about herself. Instead of noting things like she loves Bolthouse Farms Vanilla Chai Tea (she does), or she has a wonder dog named Bosco (she does), or she loves the color red (she does indeed), she wrote a gorgeous poem.

         No simple, numbered list. No bulleted bits of information. No, that would have been waaaaaaay too easy for Fireblossom.

        So I'm going to ask anyone who happens upon this post to write a poem telling us something about yourself. It could be a couplet, it could be haiku, it could be a free verse poem, it could be a limerick...the possibilities are endless. 

        Then, read her poem. And gnash your teeth over it. I know I am...

        (Here's mine:)

You really want to know 'bout Sioux?
You want it false or want it true?
She's gotta hard head,
Under hair that's fake red,
And loves tragic movies--who knew?

Now it's your turn...

Work Your Art

          After reading OJ's post on the quest for macaroons in Paris, I was instantly teleported back to France. Although the only bit of Paris I've seen is the inside of the airport, (I can hear you tsk-tsk-tsking already...I know, it's a crime going to France and not spending time in Paris.) the south of France is a place that occupies a huge part of my heart.

       The French people consider eating an art. Salad dressings are homemade and made for just that meal. Breads are carefully selected. Cheese follows lunch and dinner, and lunch last for an hour or so; dinner can easily stretch into 3 hours. Of course, it's not all eating. In fact, the food is consumed slowly and is savored. There's lots of talking and laughing and drinking--the food is sprinkled in here and there.

       I was in awe of the pastry shops, because the tiny treats were works of art. They were too gorgeous to eat delicious.

a tray of French pastries in Pau, France--photo by Sioux Roslawski
(I photoshopped it so my drool on the display case was not visible.)

       Take the time to make your art the best masterpiece it can be. If it's writing, share your piece with others. Let them nibble on it...listen as they discuss the flavors and ingredients.

         Then, put their suggestions in your pastry bag, and pipe on the revision. Polish your writing piece. Tinker with it. Put on the finishing touches. And serve it up to an editor as a submission. Hopefully, they'll savor your work of art.

Research: It's Not Just For Nerds Anymore--Plus a Special Offer for My Blogging Friends

        When I was a kid, the term research belonged in the inner sanctum of nerdom. People who were into research had pocket protectors, they wore glasses with thick lenses, and had deadly dull personalities--those were the types of folks who did research.

photo by Chy Lane

        Oh, I wrote research papers in high school, undergrad and graduate school, but I never enjoyed the research process as much as I do now.

        For example, I recently sent off a submission to Mozark Press. Part of the story included getting assistance from the fire department. I ended up going to two different fire stations and talking to them about how they would rescue someone who's stuck in the bathroom a small space, what they would wear to a call that is not an emergency (surprisingly, they would not come roaring onto the scene shirtless), and how they would free someone's head from a sink a "trap."  

       I also have a children's story that needs a home. I'm still in the revising stage, but while I'm re-tinkering it, I'm going to research possible publishers.

       Last night, my writing critique group--the WWWPs--went on a research field trip. We studied how a person could use previous job skills to their advantage when working in a new profession. We spoke of how delightful it is to see a person move with confidence and gracefulness. And we discussed the power of good company versus a mediocre movie.

      What research have you ever done--as a writer--that was the most pleasurable? Or, what research did you conduct that ended up being surprising?

         * A special offer to all my friends in Blogland: For those unable to attend our workshop on Sunday, the whole event has been videotaped. All the mini sessions, all the panel discussions, even the keynote address--it's all available to you. All you have to do is send in $19.95 for the DVD and $79.95 for shipping and handling, and every moment is yours to use for blackmailing educational purposes. (This comes to you from Bill O'Connell Productions. All proceeds from the sale of this movie will go directly to cover Bill's much needed surgery--SmartA** Removal.)

Correction: Val, being the scientist that she is, pointed out that the medical/correct/technical term for the operation Bill needs is smarta**ectomy. My apologies for not checking my facts before posting this.