Books, Blood and Book Blurb # 80

       Tomorrow I will be participating in an indie author event at Spencer Road Branch Library in St. Charles. Several writing friends will also be there, including Donna Volkenannt, Linda O'Connell, Lynn Obermoeller and Pat Wahler. Maybe Marcia Gaye? Probably others I'm forgetting to mention...

      If you live in the area, drop by. It's from 10-2. There will be refreshments, along with over 100 authors eager to talk about (and sell) their books...

      So, you might be busy tomorrow, but you're looking for something to do on Tuesday evening, something that involves blood? How about giving a pint? St. James the Greater School (1360 Tamm Avenue) is having a blood drive on Tuesday, Oct. 17 from 3-6:30. Of course, after a blood donation, you need to eat something. There are several wonderful restaurants right on Tamm, as you head back up the few blocks to Oakland... Seamus McDaniels, Felix's and Nora's (which has snagged national acclaim for its sandwiches). And at Seamus and Felix's, I know you can drink a pint (or two). I will be there at my school, working with a couple of my 8th graders, along with donating blood.


     And now onto back-of-the-book blurb business...
        
         Look at the photo below. That is the cover of your book. You choose the genre. Is it a how-to book on making hand puppets? Is it sci-fi... birds and hands have mated, resulting in new creatures? You decide.

         Write an enticing blurb--150 words or less. (The title doesn't count in the word count.) Blurbs are those enticing bits that prod you into buying the book. Sometimes they're on the back cover of the book. Sometimes they're on the inside front cover. What they always try to do is lure you into purchasing the book. 

          Lisa Ricard Claro was the original creator of this writing challenge. She moved to Florida, and is too busy to host a weekly book blurb. Her first romance novel, Love Built to Last, just came out as an audio book. Her newest project? A B & B & B--a bed and breakfast and barkery. Lisa is constructing a bed and breakfast out of her piles of rejection letters (you can't be as successful as Lisa without getting lots of rejection), and off to the side of the bed and breakfast will be a bakery for dogs (and cats). Fortunately, she has offered her St. Louis writing friends a free stay whenever they head to Florida.

          Thanks, Lisa.

         
          Okay, back to book blurb stuff.
     

          Include your blurb in a blog post. Include a link to this post. Also, link your post to Mr. Linky. Mr. Linky is easy. If you've never done it, you'll be impressed with how simple he is. And then, check out the other blurb(s). It's interesting to see the different directions writers take, given the same photo.

        Here's the book cover, along with my blurb: 

Et Tu, Toucan?

Bernie had his own business. He did puppet shows at kids’ birthday parties. He entertained at cocktail events, when rich folks need a little diversion before a symphony concert started tuning up.

But recently, disturbing things are happening.

Bernie’s hand puppets--intricately painted onto his hands along with onto the hands of his assistants--have turned on him. It’s strange, but the hand puppets have grown backbones of their own.

They talk back. And what they say is not very nice.

“Hey Buddy. You really slopped the paint on at the end of my tail. What a slob you’ve become.” (This was stage-whispered during a preschool party.)

“Hey, Jerk. Your knuckles are way too hairy to pull off this snake puppet. Have you ever thought of shaving? I mean, really.”

Will Bernie be able to give those hand puppets a slap on the wrist? Or, will they completely take over? (148 words)

And for those who want to work ahead, here is the photo for this next week:

What Writing Friends Really Do For Each Other

        I was working on a pitch for my just-a-couple-of-thousand-more-words-and-it'll-be-finished manuscript. 
        Last night a writing friend Kathy Cureton (the artist formerly known as Val) gave me some feedback. It's now a little better than it was before. 
         Today I'm going to a writing critique meeting where several people are perfecting their pitch. I'll get to pitch to the group as well--before the big game on Saturday (a writing conference). Hopefully I won't be booed out of the room or sent back to the dugout in shame.
          On most Wednesdays it's WWWP night, where we critique each other's writing.
          On Saturday I'm riding with Kathy Cureton and The Pony to the conference.
           Sometimes my blogging friends give me encouragement. Or a swift kick in the tookus (when I need it).

         Writing is so much better when you're surrounded by friends...

         What have you done for a friend (or a writing friend) lately?

Things Are Not Always As They Seem

          This post was inspired by a comment made by Donna Volkenannt and button. And both Donna and the button are wrong.

           Donna said something like, "A third draft! How impressive," when I posted about my WIP that might never get finished. She probably--and understandably so--is thinking I wrote a complete first draft, let it sit, gave it some thought, and then wrote a second draft.  After that, I let friends read it, let it sit even longer, and wrote a third one. Here's how it really went down:

• I wrote a 1st draft for a NaNoWriMo several years ago. Just like a dog will poop and then run away from the spot where they left the stinky pile, I ran away from that draft as fast as I could. It smelled horribly.

• I wrote a 2nd draft... almost. It's not quite finished, but it's getting close.

• Now I toggle back and forth between finishing the beast and revising. When I finish it, I'll have to print it up (I can't revise by looking at the monitor) and do some methodical checking. 

       So no, Donna. It's not a 3rd draft. It's more like 1.75 draft right now.  Things are not always as they seem.

         It's like the button my husband has from work. It says, "I'm cool. Are you?" When I first spied this button, I wanted to snag it for my own. Bu then I remembered what "cool" means:  country of origin label.

          Now, I'm not quite so rabid about the button.

          To finish up, a bit of La Petite Prince. 

Here is a hat.

Or is it?

When you look a bit more carefully, you can see it's not
a hat. It's a picture of a snake that's swallowed an elephant.

What have you been surprised about lately... something that was not what you originally thought...

What's In a Name?

         Names are important. Titles tells us something. But sometimes, names or titles change...

         Donna Volkenannt has a story in Chicken Soup's newest collection, Hope and Miracles. (It comes out October 7.) If you don't know Donna's work, you should. And if you don't know her titles, you definitely should check out her deftness when it comes to creating a title for her stories. 

         This slice-of-life story is called "A Patchwork of Hope," and the title fits both figuratively and literally. (It's also a moving and well-crafted tale.)

         When I was born, my birth mother named me Margaret. (I can see myself as Maggie. Margaret? Never.)  My parents named me Susan, which was fine until I hit 7th grade. Both Susan and Sue (and definitely Susie) were too conventional for my tastes. My inability to fit my round self into the square holes, combined with a passion for everything Native American led me to rename myself "Sioux." My friends knew me as Sue spelled with an X, my parents shook their head in dismay, and I remained Sioux--unofficially--until I was in my forties.

         It was then that I decided that the third time was a charm, the third name of mine was going to be the one that stuck, and I went to court and paid to change my name--legally--to Sioux.  

        What do you think of your name? Did you ever have occasion to change it? If you did change it, what would you have changed it to? Nosy people like me want to know...

Being a Mom

       Early this week I'm going to be working on a "mom" story *. It's going to be early this week because I have a writing critique meeting on Wednesday, and I don't have a single word written that I can share. (Only rarely do I come empty-handed because when I have nothing to share, it's a waste of the great critique I get. As I sit there on pins and needles--will they declare my piece a pile of poop?--I have to listen to Linda's pen scratch across an entire page as she deftly rearranges my story. I have to hear Lynn's pen roll across the margin as she writes a whole letter's worth of suggestions and encouragement. I have to see Beth and Tammy's faces scrunch up, and I wonder if it's a good scrunch or a bad scrunch...) I haven't decided if I'm going to write a story about my mom or whether I'm going to write a story about myself as a mom but I...wait, as I was typing this, I made a decision.
     That's the interesting thing about writing. Sometimes just the physical act of typing something helps us sort things out in our head.
      I recently got some great news. (And no, I'm not going to "tease" and make you come back to my next post for the news.) My story "Elmo's Lesson" is going to be published in the upcoming Publishing Syndicate's Not Your Mother's Book...On Cats. And, my story, "A Risky Jump" has made it through to the final phase of Chicken Soup's Reboot Your Life. (Thank you WWWPs.) I know it can be yanked up to a month before publication but even though that's not happened to me yet, I won't say it too loudly. (I used to brag that I had been stopped by police officers many times--for speeding--but had never gotten a ticket, until I got my first and only one, so now I only whisper boasts like that.)
      I am giving away a copy of the recently published Not Your Mother's Book...On Being a Mom. Many of my friends and writing friends have stories in this collection--Terri Elders, Donna Volkenannt, Renee Hughes, Debra Mayhew, Pat Wahler, Mary Horner, Pat Nelson, Linda O'Connell, Marcia Gaye, Alice Muschany, Ellie Grossman, Diana Graveman and Tammy Goodsell. (My husband judges how good my story is by where it is in the book. He is positive that the editors put the good stories in the front, and they get progressively worse. My story, "So Little Wine," is on page 200 which makes it a "dud" in my spouse's eyes. You'll have to read it to see if you concur with him.)


         On July 1st I will post who won the book...
      My story that's being considered by Chicken Soup is about me wanting to do something that some of my family considered stupid/dangerous. Is there something you've done/considered in the past that made your friends or family look at you like you're crazy? 


* Chicken Soup is looking for mom stories--tales of you and your kids as well as stories about your mom. Two different anthologies doubles your chances of getting published...


    

Whine or Wine?

        Several of my writing friends have stories in this collection, among them Linda O'Connell and Donna Volkenannt. The book was edited by Dahlynn and Ken McKowen, and Dianna Graveman. (The anthology includes a story by Dianna as well.) These books will hit the shelves on April 8--a little over a month away.

     My story "More Wine" is about our son. In his teenaged years, d'boy was exasperating  squirrely  unique. His trips in cars often became adventures...and sometimes costly ones. His antics with the marching band were laughable (if he had been someone else's kid). He was suspended once in his junior year of high school...for an unusual transgression.

     Now, he's in his mid-twenties and is awaiting word on acceptance into medical school. He turned all my hair gray and once that mission was accomplished, he straightened up and became a young man I'm extremely proud of.

This is my son on his graduation day
from Drury University a couple of years ago.

         If you have kids, what drove you the furthest over the crazy cliff?

Writers! NaNo-ers! Rebels!

        I went to the St. Louis Writer's Guild workshop yesterday. Donna Volkenannt and Linda O'Connell spoke about how writing about our lives is a smart way to go. (This is such a lame description of what they talked about, but I cannot spend too much time on laying out the highlights because...it's NaNoWriMo!)  Linda and Donna are both award-winning writers and have been published in many different collections. Their talk was inspiring and funny and spot-on.

          Then two writers spoke about NaNoWriMo. Several people I spoke to are crazy brave enough to do NaNo this year. Kim is working on a intriguing novel that revolves around an earthquake...and what happens next. (Do I have it right?) Donna Volkenannt is working on...well, she's keeping it a secret, I guess, or she said and I was in a menopausal moment. Linda O'Connell's working on--her 142 soon-to-be-published Chicken Soup story, so no NaNo for Nicole's Nana.
Lynn is doing NaNo, so I have someone I can wallow in misery with cheer on in my critique group.

       I'm a NaNo rebel this year. Last year I made it to the 50,000 word finish line, but now have 50,000 words which means it's only part of a novel (and a hot mess of a story it is, indeed). This year, I'm trying to add 50,000 more words to my 2012 project. However, I'm already behind, so we'll see...

      The suggestion came up to avoid all contractions while doing NaNo (I figured that out last year on my own) and reward yourself with chocolate after meeting small goals.

       Chocolate is always a good incentive... If you're doing straight NaNo or if you're a NaNo rebel like me, have a great month...
 

Traveling Companions

         I am not a high maintenance traveler. Make sure my tummy is kept full and my bladder is occasionally emptied, and I'm happy. (Loud) music is great if I'm traveling alone but if someone else is in the car, I prefer conversation over the radio.

         Today I got to travel with two WWWPs--one on the way and two on the way back. Our destination: the launch of the book Well Versed. Lots of laughter and nonstop chatter made the trip fly by.

Four St. Louis writers were at the launch and are part of the anthology.
From left to right:  Donna Volkenannt, Marcia Gaye, Lynn Obermoeller and Sheree Nielsen.

        What things do you require/desire when you travel?

Heartwarming Tales. Tales That Inspire. Tales That Move.

     

Jake and Elwood--a sculpture in an airport...Chicago?
I'm not sure where I was when I snapped this picture.

The Blues Brothers--the original movie and the soundtrack--move me. I laugh, I dance in my seat, I sing along (much to the dismay of anyone within earshot).

On sale now is the Chicken Soup for the Soul's anthology for writers. There is a story of mine in this collection, as well as one by Cathi LaMarche, a Missouri writer. Cathi's story, "Complementary Attraction," is the most heartwarming story I've read in a long time. It's the kind of tale--so well crafted--that you imagine the perfect ending, you hope it will conclude that way and when you read the last line, you realize LaMarche has done it...she's brought you to an extremely satisfying end. (And as she's doing it, she paints a detailed picture of the risk we take when we share our writing with others.) 

My story includes something Donna Volkenannt did. If that has piqued your interest, you'll have to buy a copy of the book to find out what part Donna plays.

What kind of music makes you move? What are some of the movies on your "list of the funniest films"?

 

Donna Volkenannt: MY Inspiration

        Yesterday I got my copies of Chicken Soup for the Soul Inspiration for Writers.

      Cathi LaMarche has a story in this collection. I won't give away too many details of her tale, but I will say I was yearning for a particular ending, and shazam! It finished just the way I wanted it to...it ended up being a combination memoir and fairy-tale-come-true. Cathi is one lucky lady. (You'll have to buy the book and read the story to find out why she is so fortunate in my eyes...)

      Donna Volkenannt is in the book as well. Donna had an integral role in my story and she's mentioned by name...several times. She pushed inspired me to do something that--without her prodding--I probably wouldn't have done. (It happened several years ago...way before I joined my critique group. Donna probably doesn't even remember or realize how she helped me.)

Donna Volkenannt--at one of her book signings in December 2012

     And hey! The WWWPs are mentioned (in my bio) as well. They have the label of "infamous." Perhaps "notorious" would be more apropos?

     Buy a copy of the book. It's one that every writer should have...

Donna Volkenannt--Look Out!

       I got an email today that my story, "Princess of Procrastination" has made it through to the final rounds. Some stories--they tell me, and I shudder--get axed at the last minute. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

       Trying to increase my odds, I submitted two stories for this collection. One was about my fabulous writing group; the other was about a picture book manuscript I had written but was procrastinating about.  It is that story Chicken Soup is considering...

     And where does Donna Volkenannt figure into this post? Why does she need to look out? 

       It was Donna who used an electric cattleprod on me prodded me to send my manuscript off. She called my bluff. She nudged me with a rough foot up my butt gentle encouragement.

      This past week or two, I've been in a writerly funk. Not in the mood to write. Not inspired. Not eager to hit the laptop.

      Perhaps this little glimmer of hope will get me going again...

Chicken Soupers Are Signing Books

    A whole flock of St. Louis/St. Charles Chicken Soup writers are signing books on December 8. Bring in some canned goods, get your books signed, chat with some witty women and get a discount on your purchases. It's a win-win situation.

     See the schedule below:
    

 

10-12 AM, All on the Same Page

11052 Olive Blvd., Creve Coeur, Missouri, 314-567-4144 http://www.allonthesamepagebookstore.com/

 Nina Miller, Theresa Sanders and T’Mara Goodsell will be the featured authors. (Tammy is a founding member of the notorious WWWP writing critique group.)

 

Have a quick lunch and then head to St. Charles--just barely over the bridge...

 

 

1-3 PM, Main Street Books

307 South Main Street, St. Charles, MO 63301, 636-949-0105 http://www.mainstreetbooks.net/

 

Cathi LaMarche, Linda O'Connell, Lynn Cahoon and Pat Wahler will be available for conversation, and they'll be thrilled to sign your books. (Linda is one of the 5 founding members of the famed WWWPs.)
 

Buy some fudge (for medicinal purposes only)  on Main Street, and then head to The Book House... 

4-6 PM, The Book House

9719 Manchester Rd., St. Louis, MO 314-968-4491 http://www.bookhousestl.com/

Beth M. Wood, Donna Duly Volkenannt and Sioux Roslawski (me)will be busy fending off our frothing-at-the-mouth fans as we collect canned goods and sign books. (Beth and I are also founding members of the infamous St. Louis writing critique group, the WWWPs.)

And if you're as reclusive a writer as J.D. Salinger (Val? Are you listening?), you can come and chat, and you'll know who we are but we won't know who you are. You'll be able to see us in a captive setting...

 

 

 

Naughty? Or Nice?

          The deadline for "Fifty Shades of Santa" submissions is hurtling towards us. Romance...humor...nothing sexually explicit is what they're looking for.  I can do funny and I can do not-raunchy, but romance? Not really. 

photo by floridapfe

         Last night I took my "Santa" story to my writing critique group. Helpful and encouraging and on-point they were, as usual. And it reminded me of more reasons why writing critique groups are so valuable:

1.  You'll get a speeding ticket when you leave your critique group. Okay, I didn't get caught by the police speeding when I left the WWWPs last night, but I was exhilirated and I was speeding--until I slowed down, realizing that the police would probably not consider "I'm-so-excited-because-writing-outside-of-my-box-is-so-fun-and-they-kinda-liked-my-story" as a valid excuse for breaking the law. Do you think I was right?

2. Any intestinal blockage (or blockage of any other kind) will clear up. Instantly. Someone (we won't mention names) brought brownies that included pureed prunes as one of the ingredients. Hopefully, too many explosions didn't occur as a result of that culinary debacle. What's that you say? You're stopped up creatively? A writing critique group will start the creative juices flowing again, too.

3.  The chance to open your mouth, gaping, in awe. In one evening, writers share stories that are heart-wrenchingly tender, gut-bustingly funny, and sobbingly-sad. All in one night. 

     I'm encouraging you, before it's too late, to send in your holiday romance stories to mizgotrocks@wt.net  Pat Smith of Welkin Press is eagerly anticipating a flood of stories.  Make sure they're 2,000-8.000 words long, and make sure you don't wait too long...the deadline is September 30.

      Donna, thanks for posting this call. And Lisa--I expect to be competing with you for a spot in this anthology. So if you haven't already written and sent off something, you'd better get your rear in gear...

And please check out my guest post on "The Muffin" where I explain the real difference between men and women--and whether you agree or disagree, please leave a comment.

Why Write?

 a Savage Chickens cartoon by Doug Savage

      Doug Savage, over at Savage Chickens, almost always makes me laugh. He draws wonderful cartoons, usually featuring chickens, and he does it all on post-it notes. Amazing!

       And while I chuckled, I wondered...Why indeed? Why do we write? It rarely pays--or doesn't pay much--and it can be incredibly frustrating and time-consuming. So why do we continue sitting down to a blank page day after day?

       Of course, if you're Pearl, you write because you have 1.8 million followers (and every day, 217 more add themselves to the list). She manages to conjure incredibly hilarious urban tales about riding the bus and her cubicle mates and her cats. If she didn't post, a disgruntled mob would rise up and wreak havoc.

          If you're Fireblossom or Mama Zen, who write mind-blowing, teeth-gnashing poetry (you gnash your teeth because you didn't write it), you write because...well, I guess they write because they must. Their words and their thoughts must be like a geyser that has to find a way to vent. (And if you're Marcia Gaye, another poet friend of mine, you write because you're so good at it and you win local and state poetry contests. (Has the madness gone beyond Missouri, Marcia? Let me know...)

      If you're Val, you write because the're a geyser inside of you, too, but it's a geyser of snarkiness. I think, if Val did not write, one of her kids or her bumbling husband or  one of the goats or chickens would...well, I think something unexpectedly horrific would happen to them. Plus, she likes to flaunt her knowledge of Seinfeld (she and I often have duels, but she is always the victor), along with every other television show, movie and song that's ever been written.

      If you're Donna Volkenannt, you write because you have to keep your pen limber for the next international Erma Bombeck humor contest. (She was the most recent winner.) Or the next anthology to come out. When a collection comes out, you'll invariably find a story by Donna.

     If you're Linda O'Connell, a fellow WWWP, you write because your keyboard's on fire. Linda has a writing goal, and she's burning to achieve it. (Ask her what the goal is. She might tell you.)

    And if you're one of the other WWWPs (Wild Women Wielding Pens)--Lynn Obermoeller, T'Mara Goodsell, or Beth M. Wood--you write because you're prodded and encouraged and cajoled and begged to write. The five of us support each other and keep each other on the writing path...

      Doug Savage, on his little biographical page, spoke about being an artist. He said, "Creativity is a bit like a stubborn weed that won’t die: the roots run deep enough that it will keep growing back under the right conditions."

        What simile would you use to describe the writing process or creativity? Or, what are the "roots" of your writing like? 



Another Fairy Tale

           Once upon a time in a land far, far away there lived a community of writers. Each one of them had their own little castle, and met every evening so they could chat, procrastinate about writing, and sip beverages.

photo by Gary Shield Photography

         "Aaah, a community," you might say, and you perhaps envision a group of writers who only had altruistic intentions. Thoughtful authors. Collaborative creatives. 

         You'd be wrong.

         Just like in Chuck Palahniuk's brilliant (but twisted) book Haunted, these writers tried to sabotage each other...in creative ways.

          Some of the sneakiness involved food. Fireblossom got the whole kit and kaboodle hooked on Bolthouse Farms Vanilla Chai Tea. One evening she brought several bottles and soon, every single one of those writers was bellying up to the upturned, empty jugs like guinea pigs at their water bottle, desperately trying to get the last drop. Lynn served up some spaghetti (a la Nora Ephron) and everyone gorged themselves. Tammy whipped up some stuffed tomatoes (Oh, how healthy? Au contraire.) that made even one writer swear off her decade-long avoidance of pork and beef as she stuffed them into her gaping piehole. (Later, this writer could be found hiding in a corner, with mayonnaise smeared around her mouth, mumbling, "Bacon...yum.") Even Donna Volkenannt
brought to the table a potato salad recipe. After everyone tried it in their own little castle's kitchen, they all looked like potatoes...

        Some of the sabotage centered around diversion.  Beth would regale the group with tales about her travels. South America. Australia. Her beauty (tall, skinny bitch) along with her hypnotizing stories got all the writers off track. Val would lure her colleagues into her blog, baiting them with wry, pointed posts and then would hook them again...because as her followers are well aware of, Val's replies to comments are just as amusing as her posts are. Lisa was another one of those diversionary ones. She'd rent kids, claim they were her own (even though she clearly was too thin and too young to have spawned the grown-up rent-a-kids) and then host a brilliant meme, Book Blurb Friday.  

        And some of the stealth and sneaky goings-on had to do with blinding their fellow writers. 

        Donna won the Erma Bombeck contest, and she'd flash that eight-foot tall trophy at you like she was sending signals across the canyon to the Lone Ranger. Linda always had--in her pocket-- a list of the publications who had sent her an acceptance letter that day, and after reading the seemingly neverending list, her colleagues couldn't see straight. And speaking of straight...You wished you weren't after reading Fireblossom's daily serving up of poetry. She does it all--blazing hot love poems, hilarious stabs at society, channeling of Emily Dickinson. The lady's way too mercurial... 

        Some of the authors living in this community resorted to old school medieval fun. Cathy C. Hall would keep her fellow writers from writing by jousting and challenging other punsters to duels. She'd unsheath Cathy-on-a-Stick and threaten the other writers.

photo by Sioux

        And finally, there was a musical duet to divert us. Lynn and Tammy would whine play a sad song on their tiny violins. In perfect harmony they would sing, "Thisisawful-Itispurecrap-Don'tyoufallasleep." The chorus was, "Mywritingstinks-It'sreallynothing-Helpmehelpmeplease." (And they never even served any cheese with that whine.)

        And since it's a fairy tale community, do these writers live happily ever after? Why don't you finish the book you're currently reading, and once you've read the last word on the last page, ask yourself "Was I moved?"

        'Cause writers have that power. They can do that. They can move you. And while that doesn't make it all happy, it makes it all good...

                                             The End

Switch It Up

photo by saralonde

        No, this is not me having a bad hair day. Actually, if this was me, it would be a good hair day. My hair is notoriously uncooperative.

        However, I have been working on a "bad hair day" story for Mozark Press. The deadline is July 15.

         When I got the information about the guidelines, I failed to read it carefully, because I was quite excited. I had the perfect story--I had a wild experience that involved a sink--so I started writing it.

        Then Alice Muschany reminded several of her blogging groupies that Mozark wants fictional stories. Ooooh.

        However, I proceeded full-speed ahead anyway, figuring the story could be told in first person.  But it just didn't feel right.

        Last night, I switched it up. No longer told in first person, this story is about Maggie (which happens to be my go-to name, since it was the name I was given at birth) and the story just came together. Or at least I think it's a new cure for insomnia halfway decent. 

       So, check out the Mozark's call for submissions. You'd be in good company if you get your story accepted. Cathy C. Hall has been published by them, along with Donna Volkenannt.

        And if you're having trouble with a story, switch the perspective. If it's longer story or a novel, you could even alternate the perspective. (Jodi Picoult uses this technique a lot.) That might be all you need to get the story flowing...



         Yes, every day for me is a bad hair day. This photo was taken in France, several years ago. After this picture was circulated around Pau and around the Pyrenees, I am now banned from the country continent. Sigh.

         But hey, ladies, you can turn your embarrassing coiffures into credit--publishing credits, that is. Mozark Press is interested in your stories about your unruly hair. Or your stories about a dye job gone bad.

        Donna Volkenannt has had a story or two (perhaps more) published by Mozark. She frequently sings their praises. Mozark's books are high quality and chocked full of wonderful tales.

      Write quickly and send it soon. The deadline is July 15.

Pearl. Shay. Donna. Tammy. Val. Lisa. Force It---A Little

        I submitted a story about my dog Trixie to NYMB. The co-creator, Kathleene Baker, spit an email right back at me. She had read my submission quickly, and immediately sent me a very helpful (and encouraging) message.

       Pearl, I know you have cats but do you have any dog stories? Shay, I know you have some Bosco tales to tell. Donna--I imagine you have at least one dog memoir up your sleeve. Tammy, you have gazillions of canine tales. Val--you can give us a rollicking Juno escapade or two, can't you? Lisa, the weiner dogs are always the underdogs. And Lisa, you have Golden Retriever stories, too. The deadline is July 1.

      It seems the Not Your Mother's Books are looking for upbeat stories about dogs...whacky stories...funny stories. There is a children's novel entitled No More Dead Dogs, and the main character moans about the fact that if there is a dog's name in the title, don't read the book, because the dog will inevitably die during the story. (Think about it. Old Yeller. My Dog Skip. 'Tis true...)

       And my story definitely had a dead dog in it.

       Ooops. I am as bad as some of my students. I didn't do my homework very well, and apparently did not check the guidelines for this collection at all very well.

       Kathleene said if I rewrote it, and make the story "end" before our beloved Trixie died, they would reconsider it. If I wouldn't, they couldn't.

       Thrilled with a second chance, I worked on it for quite a while yesterday evening excited to do anything to avoid working on my report cards . But I got stuck. I wanted to make sure the "spackling" I did was seamless, and I had no idea how I was going to create a satisfying ending. I figured, I would let it sit for a few days. That's my normal MO.

     This morning, still trying to avoid working on report cards I still had nothing, so I didn't even plan on opening up the story and working on it. But something made me say to myself, 'Just try. You might come up with something.'

     And forcing myself--a little--to just reread the tale so far, and attempt to finish the revision resulted in me being able to finish the story---and submit it.

      Of course, Kathleene and NYMB might not like what I did with it. And that's cool. But I prodded myself--poked myself with a stick--and got it done.

      How about all my blogging colleagues who have a dog? What is stopping you from submitting? You have a little more than a month left...and as June Carter Cash sang it so well: "Time's a'wastin'."

     (I know. I promised the debut of Sioux-on-a-Stick with my next posting, but my life will be so less hectic this week after I stop avoiding the completion of my report cards finish my report cards. So Donna, stop holding your breath. She'll make her appearance...soon.)

Donna Volkenannt: A Known Felon

         Yesterday evening, Donna spoke at the St. Louis chapter of Sisters in Crime. This is a group of nuns  writers who commit crimes write about crime.


      And Donna killed it. She slayed everyone who was in the audience. Her lively talk was peppered with comments and contributions from the other writers there. I came away with some really tasty body parts tidbits. So, for those who were unable to join us ("Pearl, Minneapolis to Creve Coeur is too far of a commute?  Liza Bean could have chauffered you.") here are some points/ideas that came up:

• Short stories move the characters from innocence to experience. Novels move the characters from innocence to experience and then to a higher innocence.
• Short stories can be put to work. Make them a "dress rehearsal" for your novel or for your characters. Try them on. See how they fit...
• She had her pants hitched up with a black canvas belt. Her long face was a picture frame for her tired-looking eyes. Her (Ooops. Sorry. This is part of what I was working on for the Saturday Writers Mystery/Murder Short Story Contest. The deadline is March 24.)
• Donna caught a mistake in one of William Peter Blatty's novels. (He's the one who gave us The Exorcist.) Donna reviewed the book, and noted in her review, "I can't figure out how a child was two-years old in one chapter and then in another chapter, a year later, the child is still two-years old." She got an email from the author, thanking her for catching the mistake that was missed by his editor and publisher.  What a great story.
• Dianna Graveman suggested using story prompts as the story ending, instead of using them as a springboard at the beginning. What a unique idea.

      And my favorite bullet of the evening:

Satisfy the readers' expectations, but not with what they expect.

Super Donna

         Donna Volkenannt is the writer we'd all like to be. She is humble (to a fault). She doesn't talk about what she should write. She simply writes. And she
        doesn't           give           up...

        Recently named first place winner in the Erma Bombeck Writing Competition, Donna was surprised. The folks who know her and know her work? Not so surprised. The competition? Over 500. 

        Congratulations, Donna. And in honor of two great writers, Erma and Donna, I will share one of my favorite Erma Bombeck stories.

Erma Bombeck
photo by sitsgirls

      Erma and her family were on vacation. Her husband was the type that would not stop the car. No sit-down lunches. No break to stretch out. Keep it movin', he maintained.

      Erma and the kids pleaded with him to pick an exit. "There's a restaurant that looks good," they'd beg, but the car continued on, hurtling past every spot they spied. 

      Digging into her purse, Erma offered her husband a piece of chocolate. "That'd be great," he replied. And thoughtful wife that she was, Erma unwrapped the piece of chocolate and handed it to her husband.

      'We'll be stopping soon,' she thought. 'He thought it was chocolate but really, it's Ex-Lax...'