The Pyrenees---Southern France

The Pyrenees---Southern France
Showing posts with label Chicken Soup for the Soul. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chicken Soup for the Soul. Show all posts

Thursday, July 25, 2013

A Thief...Now a Liar...And a Call for Submissions

            Many years ago I stole a dog. I was wearing my son's hoodie and my husband's hiking boots as a disguise.

           Actually, I tried to steal it, but that night--of all nights--the beagle had been allowed into the owner's house. The next morning, my friend had to serve as dog-nabber. To find out why were stealing the dog or if we succeeded, or if this post is being written by me in prison as I serve my term for committing a felony, you'll have to buy a copy of Not Your Mother's Book...On Dogs published by the folks at Publishing Syndicate.

           Last night during the WWWP writing critique session, I shared a story about a big fat lie I told...for the sake of a dog. I'm hoping that in the near future, Chicken Soup snaps it up.

This is our dog, Foley. He was not stolen nor did we have to tell a lie
to get him. (In his mouth is "Disgusto-Ball," his favorite ball. This was the
ball he found in a neighbor's yard when he was in his first foster home,
and he's quite attached to it, despite it being torn up and...disgusting.)

         If we're writers, we use our life experiences and we relive them as we try to move people. If telling stories and creating poems is not our thing, we keep our memories alive when we share them with our family and friends or we look at photographs from the past.

        What is something you've done that borders on dishonesty?

        And hey! Chicken Soup is looking for "Home Sweet Home" stories. The deadline is November. Fellow writers--get crackin'.     



Tuesday, July 2, 2013

The Dating Game: Do I Look Like Bob Eubanks To You?

         Chicken Soup for the Soul books is looking for dating stories. They are looking for "contemporary" tales so if you've been married for a couple of decades and it has been a while since you dated, just change "Andy Williams" to "Pharrell Williams" when mentioning what you were listening to on the car radio, and your story will be good to go. (Not that I've ever changed any unimportant details in order to make a story "fit" or make it a bit more interesting.)




           Two of the WWWPs are single, so I know they have stacks and stacks of dating stories. The other three of us...when we hear the word "date night," that means we take the time to braid the hair on our legs so that later we won't be too embarrassed if we're seen with our husbands at Ted Drewes the local frozen custard place.

        The deadline is July 15, so get crackin'.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Dogs and Swans and Chicken Fat, Oh My!

        Yesterday St. Louis All Dogs hosted a book signing for some St. Louis writers. Four local authors--Linda O'Connell, Renee Hughes, Gregory Lamping and myself--spoke about our writing, our dogs, and sold (and signed) a surprising number of Not Your Mother's Book on Women, On Dogs and On Being a Stupid Kid books.
 
       Publishing Syndicate has a book in development for everyone. Have you caught an acquaintance picking their nose, and you can tell the story in a funny way? There's an anthology they're working on called On Nose Picking. Did you ever have a bunion that looked just like Tom Cruise? There's a collection called On Skintag and Bunion Celebrity Lookalikes, and they're desperate for submissions. Seriously.

         Well, now I actually am serious. There are Publishing Syndicate books about RV adventures, military life, firefighters, nurses, being actively retired, weddings, treasure hunting (for the nose picker, I guess), special occasions, sharing secrets, politics, pets, holidays, girls' night out, food, dieting, dating, cowboys, fishing, working, and more. Now that I've listed hundreds of themes, what is your excuse not to write and submit several stories? They're looking for edgy and funny. You can do hilarious, right?


           After our book signing was over, several of us commented on Linda's youthful skin. She flaunted her fountain-of-youth face, stretching her neck like a vain swan (see the picture above--I had to snap it quickly). No saggy neck. No wrinkles on her face. We all demanded to know her secret.

          Apparently when you have gotten published in over a dozen Chicken Soup books, CS will send monthly vats of fresh chicken fat (known for its wrinkle prevention abilities) in order to keep their favorite writers handsome and happy. Linda's husband will methodically and lovingly apply the strips of fat onto Linda's face every evening as part of her beauty regimen. I must say, it works.

       Check out Publishing Syndicate's website, dig into the recesses of your mind (and not your nasal cavity) and get writing.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Val the Victorian and Validation and Value...Oh, My!

      On Saturday we had a bookstore-hoppin', Chicken Soup Signin' and canned good collectin' gala affair. If you brought in a canned good, you got a great discount on your book purchases. This is the value part of this blog...

      Eleven local authors appeared at three different independent bookstores. Beth M. Wood, Donna Volkenannt and I appeared at The Book House.  They sell used as well as new books, and were delightful, hospitable, and accomodating hosts.

     



This is The Book House. It's on Manchester, 3/10 of a mile west of McKnight, and is betweenTitle Max and
a Computer Resale shop. It's easy to miss, because it's set far back from the road, but well worth the screeching of brakes
to make the sharp turn to ensure you don't miss it. Three floors of books, each floor covered--floor to ceiling--with books. And...it's haunted!

 



Here are the four writers who appeared at All On the Same Page--a Creve Coeur bookstore. From left to right is
Nina Miller, Patt Pickett, T'Mara Goodsell and Theresa Sanders.





This is T'Mara Goodsell. She not only signed books, she entertained multiple suitors (they were like bees after honey, there was such a flurry of activity and attention from Tammy's male groupies), and she also chatted with fellow WWWPs. T'Mara and Theresa Sanders did the behind-the-scenes work that made the day run smoothly--the press releases, the emails bouncing back and forth, the "drive bys" to ensure the directions were right and all the other tasks they handled with efficiency and grace.




Here are three of the authors who appeared at Main Street Books. From left to right is Linda O'Connell, Cathi LaMarche and Pat Wahler. Not pictured is Lynn Cahoon, the 4th author who signed at this St. Charles book shop.


T''Mara Goodsell, Theresa Sanders, Pat Wahler (working the crowd) and Donna Volkenannt (her gorgeous hair serving as her only calling card, from this angle) at Main Street Books

 

Linda O'Connell, one of the WWWPs, is not new to Chicken Soup nor is she new to book signings. I think this was her
8th signing...this week.




Donna Volkenannt was one of the three writers signing at The Book House. She generously shares calls for submissions,
she's a wonderful friend and critique-er AND she's the most recent winner of the international Erma Bombeck humor writing competition.




Beth M. Wood is the other writer who signed books with Donna and me. She is one of the five founding
members of the notorious writing critique group, the WWWP.
           The validation part came with the friends and family and community members who showed up to chat and mingle as they got their books signed. Lynn Obermoeller, a fellow WWWP, came to each of the book shops, but was mum when asked about the details regarding her upcoming reading. Lynn was one of only 12 writers who were accepted into the Fifty Shades of Santa anthology (Donna, Pat and Marcia Gaye are also among the twelve talented authors whose stories are part of this much-touted collection.) If you're in St. Louis, keep the evening of December 17th open. The gelato shop at the corner of Grand and Wyoming will be the place, and although Lynn is keeping the other details a secret, there was whisper of a disco ball being installed to add to the ambience... 


Lynn Obermoeller

       Saving the best for last...Val. Val the Victorian, Missouri's own JD Salinger, made a rare appearance. Each of the WWWPs and Donna got a private sitting with Val. This was an unprecedented public appearance, as many expensive arrangements had to be made. The pope-mobile had to be rented for the hour-plus trip (each way)...otherwise, she would have been injured, as her fans were lined along the highways with pens, ready to hurl them at her in their eagerness for her autograph. A sky-writer was hired to scrawl across the skies "Val is coming to The Book House around 5:00" in case there was anyone in the Missouri/Illinois/Iowa area who had missed the earlier blog postings trumpeting her upcoming debut. And two of those giant spotlights were set up, to criss-cross across the night sky, to help the many groupies find the spot.

      We not only got to meet Val, we also got to chat over cocktails and cheese balls with Hick and The Pony. (The Genius was at home. He didn't want to be eclipsed by The Pony, I imagine.) Fudge was offered to her long before Saturday (I made it without nuts--as per her preference, even though it's against my religion to make fudge sans nuts), and since Val's family is the bartering sort, she brought her famed Chex Mix to trade. (It's real and it's spectacular...)

       I got to hook her up with one of my favorite books about writers, Haunted, by Chuck Palahniuk. I hope she enjoys it...it's truly twisted but is--in my opinion--a gem.

Val the Victorian

I apologize for the scads of photos. I usually am not crazy about posts that have nothing but pictures of silly things like vase after vase after vase, but since there are lots of blog friends who were unable to attend, I thought I'd fill this post with pictures...just this once.

And if you were looking for a picture of me, happily, there are none. I am part of the witness protection program, so photographs of moi are not allowed...
         \                                            

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Huey, Hilarity and Hub-bub



        Huey has been with us since the beginning of September. Because he's a senior foster dog, we figured we'd have Huey until he died. After all, it takes special people to take on an elderly dog. You never know if you have weeks...or or months...or years...with an old dog. You just know that whatever time you do have, it will be "golden" time when it comes to that dog's heart. Animals know when they have a second chance at life, and are so grateful...

     It seems a family is interested in Huey. He may be leaving us soon. It will be bittersweet if that happens, because no other dog has gotten along so well with Foley as Huey. Although his picture does not show it, Huey has a lot of life left in him. He plays ball, will even jump up in the air for it, and does an excited series of left turns when it's meal time or when we come home. So, we may have to bid adieu to Huey soon...

     As far as hilarity, last night was our WWWP night. All of us were snorting last night (usually Beth is our prime snorter). Linda O'Connell shared an Alaska story with us; she is writing a series of memoir pieces that is sure to be a blockbuster when she's finished. They are poignant. They are gripping. They are snortingly hilarious. Last time, we critiqued a piece that had us all on the edge of our seats. Imagine a trip in the dark along an ice-covered mountainous area, and having to back up, each time sliding closer and closer to the edge (and the drop off). A can of Coca Cola saved the day. Intrigued? You'll have to wait until the manuscript is finished and published. The story we read last night was about a character who was bigger than life (in more ways than one), and yet Linda swears she was not exaggerating at all.

    Lynn Obermoeller shared a story about boogers. Yep, boogers. It was the kind of story that included a twist--you thought it was about one thing, but then it made a sharp left turn and left us all satisfied. Laughing. Thinking about past relationships. And connecting to our childhood. 

   And this is hot off the press--Lynn is going to read her Fifty Shades of Santa story at a local gelato place on Grand on December 17 in the evening. (It's at the corner of Grand and Wyoming.) The time has not been determined but more details will follow. Lynn was only one of 12 writers who were accepted into this anthology. Linda and I were gnashing our teeth because we did not make the cut All of the WWWPs congratulated her. 

    And what's with all the hub-bub? What's behind the flurry of press releases, and extra police patrols, and security gates being installed? Who is responsible for all this frenzied excitement? Val, of course. Val is supposedly coming to St. Louis on Saturday for a rare appearance. It's for a good cause. You bring a canned good (or two, or a box) and get a discount on your books. And you might get a glimpse of the elusive Val. If you would like more details, go here.     

    

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Chicken Soupers Are Signing Books

    A whole flock of St. Louis/St. Charles Chicken Soup writers are signing books on December 8. Bring in some canned goods, get your books signed, chat with some witty women and get a discount on your purchases. It's a win-win situation.

     See the schedule below:
    
 
10-12 AM, All on the Same Page

11052 Olive Blvd., Creve Coeur, Missouri, 314-567-4144 http://www.allonthesamepagebookstore.com/

 Nina Miller, Theresa Sanders and T’Mara Goodsell will be the featured authors. (Tammy is a founding member of the notorious WWWP writing critique group.)

 
Have a quick lunch and then head to St. Charles--just barely over the bridge...
 
 
1-3 PM, Main Street Books

307 South Main Street, St. Charles, MO 63301, 636-949-0105 http://www.mainstreetbooks.net/
 

Cathi LaMarche, Linda O'Connell, Lynn Cahoon and Pat Wahler will be available for conversation, and they'll be thrilled to sign your books. (Linda is one of the 5 founding members of the famed WWWPs.)
 
Buy some fudge (for medicinal purposes only)  on Main Street, and then head to The Book House... 

4-6 PM, The Book House

9719 Manchester Rd., St. Louis, MO 314-968-4491 http://www.bookhousestl.com/


Beth M. Wood, Donna Duly Volkenannt and Sioux Roslawski (me)will be busy fending off our frothing-at-the-mouth fans as we collect canned goods and sign books. (Beth and I are also founding members of the infamous St. Louis writing critique group, the WWWPs.)
And if you're as reclusive a writer as J.D. Salinger (Val? Are you listening?), you can come and chat, and you'll know who we are but we won't know who you are. You'll be able to see us in a captive setting...
 
 
 

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Hallacas and No-Ho-Ho and Hello, Oh My

photo by Sardonic Salad
    
        First, the hallacas (pronounced "aye-jak-ez," I think). It's a dish from Venezuela. A mixture made from fifty-eight five different kinds of meat (and the meat came from three different animals), capers, raisins, marjoram and other spices, red wine vinegar and red bell pepper. They're "embellished" with slivered almonds and olives. It's encased in a cornmeal "pocket" and then is "packaged" in banana leaves and steamed.

    I won't say what I was calling those banana leaves--since you might not appreciate the colorful and creative combinations I came up with--but suffice it to say, it was a daunting task.

      I was up until 2:30 in the morning on Saturday making these delicacies. My teaching partner's husband took his oath on Thursday and became a citizen. They have the most drop-dead gorgeous girl (who is a spitfire), and Holly hosted a surprise party on Saturday afternoon. I offered to make the hallacas before I knew how troublesome they would be. However, Rodrigo went back and got thirds, so I was happy...

      Next, no Ho-Ho for me. My "Fifty Shades of Santa" was rejected, but it was an encouraging no. I plan on studying the tone Pat wants, and submitting something to her at a later date for a later anthology.

       And I got a hello from Simon and Schuster. Okay, the "hello" was a box of Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Power of Positive books, I was expecting them, but it took a little out of the sting from the rejection.

       How'boutchoo? What was the funniest culinary disaster you've experienced?

       And if you'd like a pedicure this Sunday while you sip beer and get a pap smear, go to Pearl's Paps and Pedicure Pub. She'll fix you right up...I promise. 


Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Unless You Have Sugar...

         I read a great quote recently, a twist on another really old quote. It went something like, "If you take lemon and turn it into lemonade, unless you're also adding water and some sugar, you're going to have really sour lemonade."

        On Monday I got the news that my story, "There's No Ceiling On Dreams," will be published in the Chicken Soup for the Soul's The Power of Positive. (It will go on sale on October 23.)


        That positive news helps sweeten up some of the setbacks that all writers have. No news. Bad news. Waiting-on-pins-and-needles...nothing new about that. 

        My story is about when my students and I each hung up a cloud from the ceiling of our classroom. We each put our dream on a cloud. Who knew what the impact of magic markering unspoken dreams onto posterboard would be...

        If we don't sweeten up our life of writing, it gets bitter. Facing rejection on a regular basis is tough, so we have to put some pockets of pleasure into our routine--otherwise we'd give up. 

        What do you do to keep yourself going? What technique do you use...what activity do you engage in...what mantra do you mumble to sweeten up your writing life?

(How would you like to sit back in a comfy chair and listen to C. Hope Clark talk about writing? You can, if you go here. It's a wonderful podcast, jam-packed with humor and self-deprecation and advice.)

       
       
           

        

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

I'm Thinkin' Positively






      I got an email today that my story "There's No Ceiling on Dreams" has made an initial cut for the Chicken Soup for the Soul book The Power of Positive. It's a story close to my heart, because it was about my students last year. Together, we hung our dreams from the ceiling in my classroom, and my dream came true.

 (I know, Linda. You have told all of us that they sometimes pull a story at the last minute, so I'm not counting my chickens for this Chicken Soup book before they hatch. But I am remaining hopeful.)

     I submitted two stories for this collection; the other one focused on a crime committed against a friend's son. He is now a paraplegic, but maintains a positive attitude despite having to adjust to life in a wheelchair. I worked on the story for quite a while, had my critique group help me with it, it simmered, was allowed to cool, and I heated it back up again several times before sending it off. I am assuming it did not make the cut.


    The other story was a harder write. I wanted to increase my chances at getting in this anthology by sending off more than one submission, so I started it, let it sit for a few weeks, added another paragraph or two, and let it sit some more. The other piece wrote itself. This one...not so much.

     What I find interesting although no one else will is that even though it's not an old piece that was worked on in my critique group last summer, and even though it was not critiqued by the WWWP's (Wild Women Wielding Pens), I channeled them. I would look at the story and--after hearing the same comments over and over ("Too darned many ellipsis, Sioux!"  "Tighten this up."  "Your ending needs more punch.")--I made some changes. I imagined Alice's red pen flying across the pages. In my mind I watched as Beth and Lynn and Tammy and Linda read my story-- and they gave me invaluable help even though it happened in my living room around midnight, and I was the only one in the room.

     Last week I thought, 'I'm going to hear about a submission sometime this week.' Didn't happen. I thought the same thing this week. I guess if I thought that long enough, eventually I would hear something. 

    How do you keep positive about your writing?


   

    

Monday, February 27, 2012

Are You Hooked on Hockey?

        Chicken Soup for the Soul has extended their deadline for hockey stories. That means only one thing: they have not gotten enough marvelous entries to round out their anthology.

      And that means one thing to us as writers: we have a few more days to send  in a submission (or another submission). The deadline is March 4.

      I sent in a submission about being in the locker room with Brett Hull; getting drawn in by his impossibly-blue eyes, I became a cougar--or at least a cougar in my mind. (I hope my submission is not one they have tossed aside as crappy...)

     I did have another story that I had worked on, but it needed major revising. Chicken Soup's extension has prodded me to take the time to work on it, so I can increase my chances...a little.

     Neither of my stories are true hockey stories. I've never been to an entire hockey game--only to one partial game. I imagine there are writers out there who have a hockey story to tell (their son played street hockey or hockey in school) but it's stuck in the crevices of their mind.

    Dig around. Unearth that story. And submit...

Sunday, February 5, 2012

2/3 of a Hat Trick

          Several months ago I submitted a story for the "Here Comes the Bride" Chicken Soup for the Soul anthology. Despite receiving an email that it had made it through the first chute, I didn't feel good about it making it through the final round. Having been told stories that it could be rejected up to a month before publication, I fretted. So I conjured up pessimistic thoughts, and kept them simmering.

This will be on sale on May 15, 2012.

          On Friday, I received an email that my story is going to be included in the anthology. That makes my second one so far, as far as CS stories. (The collection with my first accepted story is coming out on March 13.)

          I'm trying to catch up with Linda O'Connell, a Chicken Soup for the Soul Queen. That means 2 down, 143 more to go...

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

It's Raining!

         Yeah, I know, it's really raining outside. If you spend hours and hours on your coiffure like I do (ha), this is not enjoyable weather for you. But you might not know this:  it's raining inside (for me) as well.

        These "droplets of joy" fell down on me today, when I am (now) thousands of words behind in NaNoWriMo. I am in such a state of desperation, when I revise a sentence I just wrote a moment ago, if it involves getting rid of a word, I sniffle and whine and cry a tear or two.  I'm trying to think of myself as the Little Engine That Could...IthinkIcan, IthinkIcan, IthinkIcan...and I tell myself that if I stick with it, when I emerge victorious on the other side, the process will have made me stronger.

        Right now, it's killing me.

        But as I checked my email this afternoon (it's a professional development day, which for teachers, is like a day off--at least from kids), I found not one but two emails that said "Yes."

        Who said "yes," you say?

                              Chicken Soup for the Soul
                                                  and
                                               Sasee 

       Of course, the Chicken Soup for the Soul collection might be a no later on, but right now, my story "The Ones From Zirconia Are Just as Nice" is in the final round for their Here Comes the Bride anthology,  due out on May 15, 2012. I'm keepin' my fingers crossed.

      It's a definite "yes" from Sasee.  My story about my money-making endeavors when I was a kid will appear in their December issue.

     And who do I have to thank?  The Coffee and Critique Group (especially Alice with her notorious red pen) that I met with a few times this past summer, for one. Even though some of the grumpy old men looked down their noses at the schmaltz of Chicken Soup-type essays (Doyle, I'm not talking about you), the suggestions I got from Donna, Marcia, Becky, Lou, Doyle and the rest of their gang really got me into the mood to submit. Merci!

    Also, the writing group that I am currently in is due some chocolate. (Or, maybe another cream cheese birthday cake? How about it?) They are a bit too subdued and dry and boring for my tastes, but what the heck--I'm not in it to be entertained and to get my pantyliners damp, I'm in the circle to improve my writing. Beth M. Wood and Linda O'Connell, both published in Chicken Soup and Sasee, encouraged me to send the childhood story in; Tammy and Lynn gave me wonderful suggestions to improve it as well. (The Chicken Soup one I did completely solo, which is a scary thing to think about, considering it is me we're talking about.)

    Barbra had it all wrong. DO rain on my parade.  I love this kind of rainfall...

Friday, October 14, 2011

Bluck-Bluck-Bluck-Bluck!

This book will go on sale in March, 2012.

     Yesterday I had an exciting phone call, but I tried to keep my hopes dampened down a bit. A story I had submitted a while ago made it to the "semi-finals" for a Chicken Soup for the Soul anthology. What an honor to make it that far, I figured. I had heard from several people--Linda O'Connell, for example--about how being "chosen" was sometimes a temporary high. Once the final selections are made, some stories get kicked to the curb.

     Why let the news spread like wildfire, if I'm only going to be disappointed later?  I rationalized. I've got time to savor my little scrap of success before the final cut is made.

      Today, I got another email. My story "No More Ditches" has made the final cut and will be in the collection Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Magic of Mothers and Daughters, due out in March of 2012.

      Yahoo!