- David Beckham---his legs (that makes sense--if his legs go kaput, he won't be very useful on the soccer field)
- Tom Jones---his chest hair (Good grief!)
- Bruce Springsteen--his voice (logical)
- Mariah Carey--her legs (what? I guess I will have to really assess her legs the next time I see her on television)
My roots--Yes, if something catastrophic happens to the roots in my hair---say, if they become the same color as the rest of my hair---I don't even warrant a mention. The public has gotten accustomed to part of my hair (the part) being the color of rat fur, and the rest being magenta or tomato-red or Corky-the-Clown orange. How else will they recognize me?
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| photo by milkmaid1979 |
My leg hair--Yes, if something caused the stubble on my legs to vanish, all color would be gone from my legs, and I'd be left with blindingly-white legs. People would have to wear sunglasses when I put on capris or---heaven help us, shorts---to save their vision. The sprinkling of gray hairs cuts down on the glare a bit. It's a public service...People have come to depend on it.
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| photo by ameros |
My poochy belly-droopy chest combo---Because my protruding gut meets my succumbing-to-gravity chest, I have a clipboard made of flesh at my disposal. I open up a teacher's guide book and place it onto my belly, lower the shelf of a chest onto the book, and the book is held in place, allowing me to walk around and use both hands as I refer to the book.
I know there are other valuable parts that need to be insured. But Lloyds of London spent so much time laughing (I think they were laughing because I was stupid enough to tempt fate this many decades without insurance) and then charged me so much, I will have to save up if I'm going to protect more of me...
