What is That? It's So Scary Looking!

       I follow the Muffin, so when my picture appeared on my sidebar (a not-very-complimentary photo of a woman who is notoriously not-very-photogenic), I shrieked. At least inwardly a little.

     I'm doing a guest post there today, so if you're stuck in the same writing box, perhaps it is time to change things up a bit. Like a pitcher throwing a change-up...Not only will the change surprise your writing friends, but you might discover some pleasant surprises as well.

     Please check it out, and please leave a comment if you're so moved to. (Cathy C. Hall, the baseball bit was just for you.)

      Also, I'm in love with helping verbs and adjectives these days. Why? Helping verbs and adding an extra descriptive word here and there adds to my word count. Right now, with NaNoWriMo I'm at 14,000 words. I haven't crashed and burned yet, but there's still 21 more days to go.

     On my next post, I'm going to share a reject card I got. Not a letter...a card.

Dianna Graveman's Magical Breasts

      Get an image of Dianna Graveman in your head. Super-smart. Uber-talented. Co-editor of two Not Your Mother's Book anthologies. Owner of her own editing and design business. Got it?

     Now, imagine that her breasts are able to win a gold medal in a target practice. Imagine they can aim and hit a bullseye across a table. Imagine they are capable of shifting the way people think, the way people perceive things.

This collection includes stories from Tammy Goodsell (her story is the first one, and darn it, they included a photo of her
in her pajama jeans, and she promised it was a terrible picture but of course, she looked cute as a button), Linda O'Connell, Alice Muschany, Mary Horner, Dianna Graveman and moi...

 When I read the stories written by my writing friends, I enjoyed them all.  They were all witty and well-written. However, when I read Dianna's story, I was lucky I was not drinking milk at the time. Otherwise, I would have snorted it out of my nose. The ending is hilarious, and it made me have a completely different opinion of Dianna.

How about NaNoWriMo? Are you doing it? If so, what is your story about? Share, please...



 

The Chicken Soup Queen: Basking in Fifty Shades of Black (Ink)

       Linda O'Connell was a speaker at Saturday Writers' workshop on October 27. For many, she's known as a local Chicken Soup Queen because she has almost 20 stories published in the anthologies. She's one of the hardest-working freelance writers in St. Louis.

Okay, I admit it...This is a photo from a past event that took place at Borders.
But although her hairstyle has changed a bit, her blue eyes remain the same, as does her wit.

       In between doling out her tidbits of advice--things that she's learned the hard way--she passed out chocolate, she held up posterboard signs to send a strong visual message, and she had us creating slogans (more about that at the end).

       Here are some of Linda's wonderful points:

* Use your time wisely. We have a limited amount of time that is free to write. Don't spend too much of it on Twitter, Facebook, and so on...

* "Write" is a verb. Don't dream about it. Do it.

* Don't make excuses--make the time.

* Change your no's to yes's.  If you're prone to say things like, "No, I don't have time to write today because I have to paint the house," shift your thinking and say, "Yes, I have to paint the house today, but I'm going to carve out at least 15 minutes to write this afternoon."

* Being vague with details is passive writing and it's also passed over writing.  Paint a picture using specific details.

* Court words and writing like you would a lover. Fall in love with words. Discover the erogenous zone on the blank pages. Treat your writing with as much love and attention as you would someone you were wooing.

      During her session, Linda showed her prowess as an engaging speaker by keeping us active. She would occasionally prod us to proclaim "I am a writer" (with conviction), she had us write, and at one point she handed out small circles of cardboard. Everyone has a slogan or is wearing a button these days,  Linda reminded us, and she prodded us to dig deep and determine what our slogan would say about us as a writer.

       I came up with, "Sssh...Snarky writer at work." 

       What would your writing slogan say about you? It can even be a two-sided one--perhaps one serious and one more humorous...

        In my next post, I am going to share how reading a story written by Dianna Graveman--the super-smart St. Louis writer, editor and business owner extraordinaire--made me snort milk out of my nose.         

Pitch Your Pitch

photo by frank3.0

     
       So, you have a manuscript that's finished. You'd love to sign your name at the bottom of a contract. You cannot wait until an agent and then a publisher says "yes" to your baby.  This post might help you snag an agent...

      Yesterday I attended a Saturday Writers workshop. The speakers were Kristy Makansi (of Blank Slate Press), Steve Wiegenstein and Linda O'Connell. On this post, I'll focus on what Kristy and Steve said about pitches. Tomorrow, I'll share some of many Linda's tidbits.

        Kristy outlined what she considered what you should do and not do when it comes to pitches. Here is what you should include when doing a pitch:

* What is the conflict? What is stake for the main character?

* Get to the turning point in your pitch. Include the big turning point when you talk to an agent or publisher. What is the ultimate choice the protagonist makes?

* How is the conflict resolved? Tell the agent or publisher how it ends. Don't say to them, "You have to read it to find out." No. The agent does not need to read your book. They might sign you to publish your book. This is a possible business transaction for both of you. It's not a case of perusing the shelves at a bookstore to buy a novel to read over the summer. Tell them. (You might ask the agent, "Do you want to know how it ends?" because they might be the rare one who likes to be surprised. But if they say yes, tell them.)

* What makes your story unique?  Include the word count and the genre along with what makes your manuscript different.

* What is the setting, and how does the setting impact the characters? Don't just say, "It takes place in Missouri in the 1980's." Paint a writerly picture with your words, telling about the setting and how it roots the characters in their place.

Steve Wiegenstein strongly recommends rehearsing your pitch. Practice it over and over, and time it. After all, he says, "It's a speaking occasion. It's a sales occasion." The minutes fly by if you're stumbling and searching for words, so rehearse it with a timer.

He further adds that it might be a good idea to limit your pitch to four minutes. That means there will be 3 minutes for the agent and you to interact. Questions the agent/publisher has can be answered at that time.

These are the things that should not be included in your pitch.

* Details that don't have to do with the central character.
* More than 1 or 2 names of secondary characters
* Passive voice--It should be in present tense, active language, and avoid all cliches.

How about you? What pitch success (or nightmare) stories can you tell? What bits of advice can you add?

Like the Layers of an Onion, So Are the Facets of Our Lives

      Yesterday I led some middle school students in a session at a  writing workshop.  Each young writer got a small mirror tile. I spoke about the layers of an onion--the outer crackly-paper skin, so delicate and thin. Then I dug into the onion with my fingernails as we discussed how we are like the onion...we have an outer, fragile layer which covers layer after layer. Some of those layers are so private, no one sees them. Others we share with our family, our friends, our loved ones.

photo by faygate

           The students used the mirror tiles to look at parts of their faces. They were instructed to imagine...If someone saw them walking down the street, and saw their eyes, their mouth, their nose, their hair...what judgements would they make? What kind of labels would they come up with?

        We discussed teenagers, and the stereotypes teens are burdened with. We discussed football players, African Anmericans (especially African American males), students from expensive private schools and the erroneous conclusions people jump to when they encounter them---we had them all in our community of writers. 

        The students then wrote--prose or poetry--about the surface them compared to the real person underneath the surface. Some of them began with "People think I'm....but really, I'm...." One writer created an interesting "checklist," with checkmarks in the boxes of things she really was, and Xs in the boxes of things that people thought about her but were incorrect. We then shared  our pieces (some of us) and I put in a plug for NaNoWriMo. 

       Two of the writers had earned an a field trip to an amusement park for the same day--due to being on the Honor Roll--but chose writing instead. How cool was that?

       Here is what I wrote as we all sat and created together:

You see someone fat, frumpy...
But deep down inside,
I'm really a skydiving,
Breaking Bad-watching woman.

You judge me,
calling me old,
calling me out of touch.
But under the surface
is a tattooed semi-radical,
a Sons of Anarchy fanatic
left behind from the 60's.

You envision me as slow-moving,
lethargic--part of the primordial ooze
I perhaps rose up from?
But try to tred on my passion,
try to smother my fire...
and you'll see.  

       What do people think when they see you? When strangers see you on the street, when someone hears you read your writing out loud but has never met you, what impressions do they form? What kind of "mask" do you wear, and what lies under the surface?

       Come on--share. It's safe. We're all writers 'round here...        

My "Hope" Came True

       For quite a while, I read as C. Hope Clark charted her novel's progress via encouraging posts. When Lowcountry Bribe came out, I was unable to run out and buy her book because I was buried under a tower of books I had borrowed from friends. (Right now, only an arm is peeking out from under that heap.)

     However, I was sure that--soon--I would read her novel. After all, Hope is a writer's writer. After hearing stories of the conception, the discomfort as things shifted, the labor pains...I was looking forward to seeing her new baby.

     And fortunate me, a copy dropped right into my lap. Barbara Younger had a give-away, and I won.

      Today it came winging my way and landed in my mail box. I read the inscription, and then turned to the first page. For many readers, that's what hooks them. if the first sentence doesn't reach out and grab 'em, they'll put the book back on the shelf.

       Here is Hope's first line:  "O postive primer wasn't quite the color I had in mind for the small office, but Lucas Sherwood hadn't given the decor a second thought when he blew out the left side of his brain with a .45." What a wonderfu line to start your novel with.

        And speaking of minds, I have not yet made the final decision about my NaNoWriMo 2012. If you have a first line that's been discarded, please send it to me. I will gladly you half credit for the steaming pile of poop manuscript.

       So, how 'bout it? Do you have a first line to spare?