Back-of-the-Book Blurb Friday # 16

 Perhaps you're not one of the hundreds of three people the one who've participated in this book blurb stuff. Maybe you're wondering what I'm talking about... If that's the case, read about how you join in the fun and find out exactly what it is:

• Every Friday a pic is posted. The pic is meant to be the front cover of a book. Your book. You choose what kind of book it is. A romance novel? A horror story? An informational book? A sci-fi thriller? A beach read? 
• You choose the title. And you write the blurb.
• The blurb? A blurb is that text on the book cover (often on the back) that is crafted to lure the reader, making it impossible for them to resist buying the book. It's engaging... and short, so being brief is key. For this challenge, your blurb should be 150 words or less.
• Lisa Ricard Claro started this book-blurb stuff up, but now she's busy with her next book. Love to Win will be coming out on July 30. I thought, once you've sold a series of books, you just lay around on the couch poking out the bottom of the chocolates in the Russell Stover assortment box (to avoid those yucky nougat-y candies) but I guess there's more to this publishing business than meets the eye.

• After you write your blurb, post it, along with the photo, on your blog, and link it to this post via Mr. Linky (which is quite simple to do--even my very-handsome golden retriever can do it). You can also check out the other blurbs--there will hopefully be at least one other one besides mine that you can check out. 

       Here's the photo (book cover) for this week, along with my lame pathetic finished blurb:

The Rufus Way

Rural philosopher Rufus T. Brooks shares how he climbed to the top of his mountain of... well, to the top of where he is now. Thanks to Rufus' family, who painstakingly recorded Brooks' words as he spewed, everybody can strike out into the world the Rufus way.

Some of the sure-road-to-success chapters include:

• No shirt, No Shoes, No Service? No Place for Me!
• Taking Overalls from Business Casual to Cocktail Parties
• Bits of Dropped Food + Beard = A Tasty Snack Later On
• Tattoos Guaranteed to Impress the Boss
• Size Does Matter: The Key to Growing An Extra-Long Tooth (In Front)
• Beards: When Scraggly Becomes Sexy

        If you're a Honey-Boo Boo fan, and wonder how you can reach the same pinnacle that Mama June has, this is the book for you. (140 words)

       

        So join in on the fun. Participate. Write a blurb. And check out the photo for next week's blurb:

This is the photo for next week's book blurb. It will be posted on July 15,

News flash: I'm going to a writing conference a week from tomorrow, and I'm gonna make a pitch. I've pitched many softballs and baseballs and each time, the ball would go in wild, unpredictable and sometimes lawsuit-worthy directions. Hopefully my book pitch will be different...

  

Getting Back in the Groove

         Here's what has happened in the last week:

• I forgot to include a picture for the next week's Back-of-the-Book Blurb Friday, but I'm including it now. (Scroll down to the end of the post.) Of course that means that the dozens of writers who participate now only a few days to ponder their blurb, instead of an entire week. 

• I did not finish my WIP by the end of June (like I planned on) but I am hopeful praying that it will happen this week. And I came up with a marvelous decent better title than was originally stuck on it. (The WWWP Critique Society. That was what I originally slapped on this pile of papers. Doesn't that sound like a confusing snoozer?) 

• I finally used one of those digital random-izers scrawled names on scraps of paper, closed my eyes and picked on so the winner of a copy of Fevre Dream could be ascertained... and the winner is 

Cathy C. Hall.

• I finished my Dexter binge-watching (very disappointing from the fifth season on) and am now onto Downton Abbey. (I know. They don't go together at all.) I finished Augusten Burroughs' latest (a great read). I get to work on a project tonight that involves drawing/zentangling. Hip hip hooray!

       Hopefully next week I will be fully back on track. But I wouldn't put money on it... (And please come back on Friday.)

This is the cover for your next fake book.
Think about it between now and Friday.
For some of you, this guy might look too close for comfort...

Back-of-the-Book Blurb Friday #15

 Perhaps you're not one of the hundreds of three people the one who've participated in this book blurb stuff. Maybe you're wondering what I'm talking about... If that's the case, read about how you join in the fun and find out exactly what it is:

• Every Friday a pic is posted. Well, not every Friday. I took a month off in June to find a job and write a synopsis and work on finishing a WIP. 
• The pic is meant to be the front cover of a book. Your book. You choose what kind of book it is. A horror story? An informational book? A sci-fi thriller? A beach read? 
• You choose the title. And you write the blurb.
• The blurb? A blurb is that text on the book cover (often on the back) that is crafted to lure the reader, making it impossible for them to resist buying the book. It's engaging... and short, so being brief is key. For this challenge, your blurb should be 150 words or less.
• Lisa Ricard Claro started this exercise a long time ago. You may think this is just writing without purpose, but you're wrong. When you condense a book (even a nonexistent one) into just 150 words, it limbers up your succinct muscles. At some point down the road, after doing weeks of this book blurb stuff, you find yourself needing to write an elevator blurb for a prospective editor who you're stalking will be at a writing conference... and voila! You're able to do it because you've had lots of practice at distilling. 
• After you write your blurb, post it, along with the photo, on your blog, and link it to this post via Mr. Linky (which is quite simple to do--even my not-very-bright golden retriever can do it). You can also check out the other blurbs--there will hopefully be at least one other one besides mine that you can check out. 

Here is the link:

And here is my blurb:

Terror on Four Wheels

Everyone knew the old blue Durango. It coughed down the street, having shrugged off its muffler long ago. Everyone knew the house it belonged to as well. It was the only two-story on the street, the only one with peeling siding that flapped hello with every burst of wind, the only house with all the windows covered in yellowed newspaper.

However, no one knew much about the driver of the Durango. He was rarely seen, and then, only at night, as he scurried along the worn path in the yard.

But people strolling through the neighborhood start getting chased off the road by a dark vehicle. Some think it's the Durango because they get a glimpse of the license plate as it speeds by, belching dark smoke.

What does that license plate mean? Why is someone terrorizing their neighbors? And when will it end? Read the story to find out...

25 Days in the Hole

         Yikes! It's been 25 days since my last post. For those two people who are so desperate for entertainment that you read my blog, here's what happened in the past 25 days:

1. My son went to Norway and came back--safely. (That's him on top of that rock.)  

2. I created a synopsis for my manuscript, and then sent it off (along with the first ten pages) for a critique. On time.

3. I am almost finished with the above-mentioned WIP. Within the next couple of days it will be a WIF (work is finished) instead of a WIP.

4. I've spent the last month with 15 amazing writers-teachers. Sadly, that is about to come to an end.

5. I found a job. A language arts/reading job. A dream job. A job that is sure to make me glad I retired from the public school.

          For those who forgot me over the last 25 days, I understand. But for my two followers, I only have two words:

                     I'm back.

Back... But Just Momentarily

       Yes, I've been gone for a while, and I'm still not ready to return. I've heard tales that I've been off on some tropical island--with cabana boys making sure the margaritas keep comin'--but alas, that is not the reason behind my absence in the blogosphere. (However, if Viggo Mortenesen was willing to wear shorts, go shirtless, and sip blended drinks next to me, I'd move anywhere... even to Jefferson City, Missouri, which is where he used to live when he had already become a movie star. Jefferson City--less than an hour-and-a-half away from me.)

Here is an old photo of my granddaughter.
With her eye peering through the viewfinder,
she's reminding me:  I need to focus on things
and get things accomplished.

      I've been gone for the following reasons:

• Throwing away and giving away and boxing away 16 years worth of teaching stuff took a week. I added to the landfill (I'm sorry) and heaped piles of materials onto several long tables at the school where I left--for good--just a couple of days ago. Hopefully some of my trash will become other teachers' treasures. 
• Retirement has resulted in some emotional vacillations that I wasn't prepared for.
• I'm busy preparing to teach the writing class I've taught for the last two summers which begins soon. It's an intense, four week, five days a week (all day) 6-credit graduate class. I'll be teaching teachers how to get back in touch with themselves as writers--if they've gotten out of touch--along with teaching them how to teach writing more effectively. (It's work, but it's work I love doing.)
• I'm in the process of preparing a resume' (something I haven't done in over 17 years). If anyone knows of a wonderful teaching job in a private school in St. Louis or a public/private school in Illinois and can drop it right into my lap, I'd appreciate it. Seriously.
• My freelancing work (not really freelancing--I'm talkin' 'bout Chicken Soup stories) has been occupying my spare time
• along with my bigger, more important WIP, which I've fretted over but have not worked on
• and a wonderful book, The Fireman by Joe, has keep me intoxicated. (Joe Hill! He's got a new book out. This one is not as creepy as NOS4A2, but the plot is keeping me flying through the 700+ pages.)
• And I'm still feeling high over the film festival my students created. Their digital stories about Ferguson and their home were incredibly powerful. If I can get permission to share a couple of them, I will. They were that good.

     So, for Lisa Ricard Claro and the other two people who occasionally read this blog, I will return (much to your future dismay). It might be sooner or later... but I won't be gone forever.

Things Are Not Always As They Seem

          This post was inspired by a comment made by Donna Volkenannt and button. And both Donna and the button are wrong.

           Donna said something like, "A third draft! How impressive," when I posted about my WIP that might never get finished. She probably--and understandably so--is thinking I wrote a complete first draft, let it sit, gave it some thought, and then wrote a second draft.  After that, I let friends read it, let it sit even longer, and wrote a third one. Here's how it really went down:

• I wrote a 1st draft for a NaNoWriMo several years ago. Just like a dog will poop and then run away from the spot where they left the stinky pile, I ran away from that draft as fast as I could. It smelled horribly.

• I wrote a 2nd draft... almost. It's not quite finished, but it's getting close.

• Now I toggle back and forth between finishing the beast and revising. When I finish it, I'll have to print it up (I can't revise by looking at the monitor) and do some methodical checking. 

       So no, Donna. It's not a 3rd draft. It's more like 1.75 draft right now.  Things are not always as they seem.

         It's like the button my husband has from work. It says, "I'm cool. Are you?" When I first spied this button, I wanted to snag it for my own. Bu then I remembered what "cool" means:  country of origin label.

          Now, I'm not quite so rabid about the button.

          To finish up, a bit of La Petite Prince. 

Here is a hat.

Or is it?

When you look a bit more carefully, you can see it's not
a hat. It's a picture of a snake that's swallowed an elephant.

What have you been surprised about lately... something that was not what you originally thought...