Laugh...And the World Laughs With You

        This weekend a dipping happened. My hair, which left alone, is the color of rat fur...and I'm not talkin' about the white lab rats. No, I'm speaking of the gray rats that scuttle around dark alleys in creepy movies.

       Around here, dipping is done at home. As a teacher, I don't have $100 (or more) to spend on getting my hair professionally dyed, so I look for the bargain basement stuff. Discontinued because during the testing phase, dolphins died when the hair coloring was slathered on them twelve times in the span of a week? Bring it on. Just a little stock left--and no longer being produced--because magenta is not really a "natural-looking" hair color? I'm game.

       And I am. I'm up for trying a variety of red shades. A different box, a different brand, a different shade--every time--makes life more interesting.

       Today, I provided levity for the sixth graders. While I was outside their class window at dismissal (my class--the third graders--head out the building before the older students), they were overheard talking about my blindingly-bright tresses. Since I did the dye-job on Sunday, the chemicals are still holding on for dear life. The box says one thing, but it's Russian Roulette once you squirt that stuff on your head.

        "Mrs. R did her hair."
        "It used to be blonde." (No, it was never blonde, but a lighter red. I thought a lighter shade would blend in more with the gray, but the strawberry blonde shade made the gray hairs angry, and they got unruly.)
        "Why does she dye her hair?" (I wonder. Perhaps I deal with a bit of stress during the day? Perhaps I could even name the patches of gray after colleagues/classes?)
         "What is that color called?" (There is no name for this color. The name on the box is soooo wrong. This shade makes a person speechless. Metallic Magenta is what I would call it.)

        Oh yes, I was the talk of at least one class. I gave them something to talk about. And I was happy to help...

        (You have to be able to laugh at yourself. If you take yourself too seriously, you'll miss out on lots of fun.)

         When was the last time you laughed at yourself?

The Pitch

         Last Saturday the St. Louis Writers Guild had a workshop on writing pitches. Since my pitches stink worse than a Major League pitcher who hasn't changed or washed his lucky socks in over six weeks, I needed yesterday's event.

      Brad Cook, the president and the workshop facilitator, shared these as crucial components of a pitch as you're writing one:

*   The hook--what is going to get the reader/editor intrigued?
*   The log line--a short, snappy line
*   The elevator pitch--a sentence 25 words or so long, which you could also    use if you are trapped in a broken elevator with an agent/editor for at least
seven hours and they're hungry and thirsty and dazed and confused and at
some point they don't have the energy to ignore you...
*   Include if it's complete or not
*   Word count
*   Genre
*   Who is the main character? Keep the pitch focused on the main character.
*   What is the main plot?
*   Say something about yourself


      As you're giving the pitch to an editor/agent, keep these things in mind:

•  Stay positive. Don't say things like, "I'm not really a writer..."
•  PracticePracticePractice--Practice your pitch aloud.
•  Interact with the editor/agent. Don't hold the paper in front of your face.
•  Fiction--focus on the characters.
•  Nonfiction--focus on why you wrote the book.
•  Your back story is not worth sucking up too much of your 5 minutes.
•  Don't give away the ending, unless they ask (and then tell them).
•  Be prepared to be rejected.
•  Don't expect the editor/agent to take anything from you.

      Before I went on Saturday, I didn't have a pitch. However, as Brad was talking, I was writing and then rewriting, and came up with this pitch. I'd appreciate any (honest) feedback and suggestions you can throw my way. (Of course, if my story bores my beta reader, the manuscript won't even get out of the dug-out.)

          Lucy is Julia Roberts in Judi Dench's body. A writer,
  she deals with unimaginable anguish as she works through
  the dysfunction of her family and the fun of menopause.
  Lucy becomes unraveled and eventually redeemed through
  the fictional circle of writers, along with their essays and
  memoirs she's created. At the end, the five semi-incontinent,
  chocolate-addicted women go on a road trip trying to right a
  terrible wrong. Humorous and poignant, The S.D. Society
  is complete at 82,000 words and is part chick lit novel
  and part anthology. (I then have a couple of sentences
  introducing myself.)
    



 

Whine or Wine?

        Several of my writing friends have stories in this collection, among them Linda O'Connell and Donna Volkenannt. The book was edited by Dahlynn and Ken McKowen, and Dianna Graveman. (The anthology includes a story by Dianna as well.) These books will hit the shelves on April 8--a little over a month away.

     My story "More Wine" is about our son. In his teenaged years, d'boy was exasperating  squirrely  unique. His trips in cars often became adventures...and sometimes costly ones. His antics with the marching band were laughable (if he had been someone else's kid). He was suspended once in his junior year of high school...for an unusual transgression.

     Now, he's in his mid-twenties and is awaiting word on acceptance into medical school. He turned all my hair gray and once that mission was accomplished, he straightened up and became a young man I'm extremely proud of.

This is my son on his graduation day
from Drury University a couple of years ago.

         If you have kids, what drove you the furthest over the crazy cliff?

Black History

       In February (the shortest month), as a third grade teacher, we're studying African Americans who have made a difference. Some of my personal heroes are Jackie Robinson, Mae Jemison, and Henry "Box" Brown. 

       To celebrate both Black History Month (February) and Women's Month (March), Jennifer Brown Banks (a blogger I follow) wrote the below poem that she's generously sharing

      Oh, you don't know her? Jennifer Brown Banks is an award-winning poet whose work has appeared in : Poetic Voices, Rolling Out Magazine, Being Single Magazine, Curbside Splendor and several anthologies.

LIKE WINE, WE RARE

(For soul sisters)

by Jennifer Brown Banks

Defiant hair,

Undeniable flair,

“Attitude”

To spare,

Like wine

We rare

Full hips

Mo-than-our-share lips,

Skin that’s been

Sun kissed,

Like wine

We rare

Sassy, beautiful

And bold

Breaking the mold,

Our greatness untold,

Like wine

We rare

Old School...Or New School?

      Years ago when I first began teaching, there was a chalkboard in my classroom. Every time I filled the board up, I'd erase, then use a wet cloth, so I'd have a clean slate.

      It was time-consuming. Waiting for the streaks on the blackboard to get thinner and thinner until they finally disappeared.

      Then came the dry erase boards. Initially, I thought they were inferior to blackboards. In fact, when I changed school districts and saw that--in my new classroom--there was a dry-erase board mounted on top of a chalkboard, I wanted to fill out a job request to right the wrong.

       Thankfully, I thought before I opened my mouth (which is a rare occurrence).

       Now, of course, I have a Smartboard in my classroom. I can't imagine ever mourning the demise of my chalkboard. I can write with my finger, I can change colors just by moving a "pen" to a different spot, I can erase an entire page with a swirl of my finger, I can draw arrows  to something on a projected website...there is all sorts of "magic" I can perform. And yet, sometimes, doing things in an old-fashioned, cumbersome way has its benefits...

      For example, I'm working on a longish project--closer to 100,000 words than 50,000 * (but not by much). When I got ready to send it to my unfortunate friend beta reader, I eagerly asked her how she wanted it. Did she want me to send her a hard copy? (I asked with some anticipatory spit forming at the corners of my mouth.) I was looking forward to hitting print and then watching as the pages accumulated in the printer tray and most of the ink getting slurped up.

         She couldn't revise via a computer screen, could she? (I asked with a knowing smirk.) I was just asking so I appeared like I knew what the options were. Certainly, I knew there was only one choice.

       I admit, I was disappointed when she said, "Send it in a Word document." My finger, poised over the button to make it print, hesitated for a pathetic moment before it returned to my lap.

       But, when she sends it back with her suggestions highlighted and underlined and crossed out and whatever other magical ways she's going to mark her ideas, I will print it out and look at it as I revise. Because I will have to have a hard copy in front of me as I decide how the piece needs to morph and what it will ultimately look like on the white page. That's me doin' it old-school style.

     And occasionally, when I am somewhere on a friend's computer--with only a printer and without internet...when I only have a paper and glue/spiral journal (as opposed to an electronic "notebook")...I combine old school and new school. I have to retype from a hard copy and as I do so, I'm looking at it with new eyes...because I have to carefully look from one to the other to make sure I'm getting it down correctly. And while I'm typing, I'm revising. It's something I sometimes do on purpose--print something but deliberately not save it--so I will be forced to look at it again...with a pair of fresh eyes.

     How about you? What do you like to do that's considered "old school" instead of in the new-fangled fashion? It could be a recipe or a cooking technique...It could be writing hand-written letters instead of emails. (Yes, Lynn, my finger is pointed at you.)

     Share, please.


*Of course, once my first editing friend gets done crossing out the parts that are boring/that are self-indulgent/that don't move the story forward/that are confusing/that aren't funny, my novel will be 13 words long...

At Laaast

        What do you want from a friend/colleague when it comes to feedback? Do you want complete honesty--even if it's brutal--or would you rather have comments that are just semi-honest?

        This morning I finally finished the first draft of my NaNoWriMo 2012/2013 manuscript. I already had a beta reader (I had to look that term up to find out what in the heck it meant I've been lucky to work with the same beta reader for many years) who was chomping at the bit to get it. Who knows why...perhaps she's a glutton for punishment?

         I do have a self-imposed deadline. At the end of March I'm going to Conception, Missouri for a DIY writing retreat. My plan: to have some constructive feedback in my pocket, so I can do some serious revising.

  
      My beta reader and I skyped last night. We discussed what we both value when it comes to critique. This is Sioux's Guide to What Every Writer Needs:

•  Tell me when the story gets sucky. I don't mind big X's across a page, and I know this 82,000-word monstrosity has some parts that suck. Big time suck. 

• Tell me when I've discovered the cure for insomnia--through my writing. If my story gets sluggish or boring, let me know. I've got thick skin. My name is written on bathroom stalls by third graders, and I'm pleased when they spell the colorful words correctly. (That "tch" blend is oh-so important...)

• If you don't care about my characters, tell me.  This story was a way to work out some personal issues, so perhaps I am the only one who cares... 

        What do you want when it comes to feedback? Inquiring (and worn out) minds want to know...