The Pyrenees---Southern France

The Pyrenees---Southern France

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Upping My Insurance

         Yesterday I heard on the radio about various famous people who had insured their talents/body parts for millions of dollars.

  • David Beckham---his legs (that makes sense--if his legs go kaput, he won't be very useful on the soccer field)
  • Tom Jones---his chest hair (Good grief!)
  • Bruce Springsteen--his voice (logical)
  • Mariah Carey--her legs (what?  I guess I will have to really assess her legs the next time I see her on television)
         After this news lightning bolt struck me, I contacted Lloyds of London, and I too am now protected with some extra insurance. After all, I want to be able to continue on---in the style I am accustomed to---if something horrible happens. Check it out...And let this be a warning to you, as you probably need to get scads of extra insurance to protect your lifestyle!

My roots--Yes, if something catastrophic happens to the roots in my hair---say, if they become the same color as the rest of my hair---I don't even warrant a mention. The public has gotten accustomed to part of my hair (the part) being the color of rat fur, and the rest being magenta or tomato-red or Corky-the-Clown orange. How else will they recognize me?

photo by milkmaid1979

My leg hair--Yes, if something caused the stubble on my legs to vanish, all color would be gone from my legs, and I'd be left with blindingly-white legs. People would have to wear sunglasses when I put on capris or---heaven help us, shorts---to save their vision. The sprinkling of gray hairs cuts down on the glare a bit. It's a public service...People have come to depend on it.

photo by ameros

My poochy belly-droopy chest combo---Because my protruding gut meets my succumbing-to-gravity chest, I have a clipboard made of flesh at my disposal.  I open up a teacher's guide book  and place it onto my belly, lower the shelf of a chest onto the book, and the book is held in place, allowing me to walk around and use both hands as I refer to the book.

         I know there are other valuable parts that need to be insured. But Lloyds of London spent so much time laughing (I think they were laughing because I was stupid enough to tempt fate this many decades without insurance) and then charged me so much, I will have to save up if I'm going to protect more of me...    


  1. I'm thinking of insuring my sense of humor because I'm losin' it. Have gone two days without being able to comment on my own site. Blogger's trying to kill me!


  2. I laughed so hard at a part the color of rat fur! We must go to the same hairdresser.

  3. How funny--and thought provoking!
    Back in the day, there was a burlesque performer in St. Louis. She was billed as "Evelyn West and her $50,000 Chest," which was insured by Lloyds of London.
    If I had to insure a body part, it might be my fingers so I can type and write and hold a book.

  4. Rat hair roots, eh? Speak for yourself. Mine are closer to possum (prior to any unfortunate road incident), thank you. Hehehe...I'll be giggling all day. Thank you!


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