The Pyrenees---Southern France

The Pyrenees---Southern France

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Help! My Head's Caught and I Can't Get It Out!

          This is a horrifying tale. For the weak of heart, go back to the blog you were on previously, and pass on this post.

          It all began because of my Russian hair stylist. She is determined--with each of my appointments--to jack my bill up. Shampooing...another $5. Blow drying...another $5.  A professional dye job...I shudder to think.

          She tries to bully me into getting my hair washed, and lures me to the vicinity of the sink with a bubbling pot of borscht and a television playing "Dr. Zhiavago" on a non-stop loop. However, I've become wily, and wash my hair and then drive (very fast  at the posted speed limit) to the salon.

          Every time I look forward to the magic happening...Sadly, it never happens.

              Yesterday I made an appointment for 5:30. That meant that a lot of gas would be wasted driving home (in the wrong direction) to shampoo and then doubling back. So, I thought ahead and brought some shampoo and a towel to work.

          At 4:01, our school becomes a ghost town. At least on most days. I figured I could quickly shampoo, and slip out without anyone seeing me, so I headed down the hall to the staff bathroom.

         Locking the door (it's a one-staller affair), I turned on the faucet and bent over the sink. I knew it would not be an easy task, as the sink is very, very tiny. Not only is the sink small, but the faucet really juts out, taking more than its share of the sink space. Prepared to get into some interesting yoga poses, I began to get my hair wet.

         To do so, I had to angle my head, get one side wet, stand on my tiptoes and splash water on the very back, then pull my head out and do the same thing on the other side.

        Then something catastrophic happened. My head got stuck. Wedged under the faucet, with no room to pull out and disengage.

        Turning my head to the left and trying to get unjammed--no luck. Trying from the right side had no effect, either. The metal of the faucet was digging and scraping my scalp.

        Three and a half hours later, the door's knob had been removed, the floor and part of the hallway was flooded, a fire engine had to be called, six firemen laughed their rubber boots off, and my principal had been called back into the building...I was finally free.

The lesson I learned? Pay the $5. Retaining my skin cells is worth it.  

14 comments:

  1. Wow...what some gals will do to save a few bucks. I agree with your last words...Pay the $5.00. You're definitely worth it!!

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  2. Still laughing. Bill said you have a "thing" for water, drown in it, sit in it...

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  3. Becky--Yes, I'm the ever-frugal one.

    Linda--I have a special message for Bill. I'll bet you can guess what it is...

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  4. Mercy, woman. Half of the fun of going to the salon is letting someone fuss over you and do all that stuff. This is your punishment from the product gods for being such a cheapskate.

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  5. Fireblossom--My hair is so short, the fun would not last very long. But yes, you are probably right. It is just what I deserved.

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  6. Sioux, Sounds like you are trying to avoid being part of the "sisterhood" in the beauty salon. (smiles)

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  7. Haha! I used to go to a Russian sylist, too! She was awesome. . .and expensive. . .and as you said, the price went up every time I sat in the chair! Your story is hilarious.

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  8. Well, the problem is obvious. You were subconsciously trying to channel your inner Russian Nesting Doll. Inside a school building, inside a bathroom, inside a sink, inside a faucet...

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  9. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, every time I picture your head in a little sink trying to get it out, I just crack up. No offense or anything because I can see me doing the same thing for the same reason! You're so funny.

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  10. Wow! How frightening to get stuck like that. Your writing is so vivid and detailed, I couldn't help laughing, though. I'm with those who suggest spending the $5.
    Donna

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  11. Bahahahaha. Good fun Sioux. Good fun. I know you think of it that way too ; )

    Love ya!

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  12. I think it's a teacher thing. I hate to pay for the blow-dry so much that I've worried about getting frozen hair on the way out. Thanks for the great laugh!

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  13. Well, at least there were firefighters involved. I hope they were cute!

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  14. Sorry, but I couldn't stop laughing! At least it gave you a story to tell!

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