Beginning of Post-Retirement Work... and Back-of-the-Book Blurb Friday #20

          Yes, while some of my newly-retired writing friends like Pat and Val/Kathy are lolling around in their jammies all day (Every day is Saturday!) I have officially started working this week. Official meaning all-day workshops and schlepping stuff up to my third floor classroom. (I did some unofficial work last week with some of the heavier things.)

            Yesterday, as I made my sixth trip up the steps with a tall stack of stuff, the custodian said, "You should have put it on the elevator." For a millioneth of a second, I thought it might be possible I'd missed a door that said "elevator," but then he laughed.

          Hysterically. 

          I already have a plan to prank him back.

          So Val/Kathy and Pat--drink some Diet Coke or coffee while you're lounging around the house this morning... and afternoon, and take a few sips for me.

           Now onto book blurb fun.

• Look at the photo below. That is the cover of your book.
• You choose the genre. Romance? Sci-fi? Contemporary lit? Nonfiction? Poetry anthology? A collection of polka lyrics. You decide.
• Write an enticing blurb--150 words or less. (The title doesn't count in the word count.) Lisa Ricard Claro was the creative brain behind this activity.
• Include your blurb in a blog post. Include a link to this post.
• Link your post to Mr. Linky. Mr. Linky is quite easygoing. If you've never done it, you'll be impressed with how simple he is.
• Check out the other blurb(s). It's interesting to see the different directions writers take, given the same photo.
• And most importantly, have fun. This is supposed to be enjoyable.

          Here is the photo for this week, and my finished blurb:

They Never Forget

She stared at him. The man who screamed at her. The man who humiliated her. The man who jabbed a bull hook into her so many times, she had scars on top of scars.

And then she let loose.

She let loose of all her heartache over having babies wrenched away from her. She let loose of all the humiliation over having to perform for a jeering crowd. She let loose of all the pain she felt every day: a small stall was no life compared to being free in a herd of elephants.

Tossing her trainer in the air, she trumpeted her joy as he catapulted across the circus ring and landed with a loud thud. And then she trotted towards the audience to try and tell them her story... so they'd never go to a circus until all wild animals were retired and sent to sanctuaries. (148 words)

       And for those writers who want to work ahead, here is the photo for next week (August 12th):

(This is a photo by Lynn Obermoeller.)

Holding My Breath... and Two Great Books

      While I'm holding my breath and waiting for an editor to read my manuscript because she asked for it at a writing conference and said she was going to read it last week when in reality she should have read it immediately it is that good and then she would have felt compelled to send it over to Random House so in reality I am holding my breath to see how big the check will be that'll flutter onto my lap along with the publishing contract I'm going to slobber about a couple of books I just finished.

         Any decent dog book ends with the dog dying. Old Yeller. My Dog Skip. Marley and Me. Knowing that, I figured I could resist crying. 

          I couldn't.

          Julie Barton's memoir is so much more than a dog tale. It's a story of sibling physical abuse. It's a story of depression. It's a story of forgiveness. It's a story of emerging from a horrible abyss... with the help of a four-legged miracle named Bunker.

          However, Barton's abyss is always lurking nearby.

          

                After I finished sobbing over a handsome golden boy (Bunker was a golden retriever) I read Lisa Ricard Claro's most recent romance novel, Love to Win, which is the final book in this threesome. She's pulled off a hat trick. For the third time in a row, she's sucked me into reading a romance... when normally I stick my nose up in the air, above anything that has a whiff of sweet, fluffy romance.

                This story has Dante and Brenna at its heart. Brenna--in my opinion--is the strongest female character of this trilogy. She's competitive--she hates to lose--and she's not afraid to fight for what she wants.

                I won't give away any spoilers, but I will say that in the end, the cat saves the day.

                And not only is it a story that has a compelling plot, but it also has a rescued cat, a man who's haunted by his time as a soldier, some family dysfunction... and some well-crafted lines.

                These are a few I jotted down:

Why do gorgeous women always fill their tanks with gallons of Batshit Crazy?

The truth sluiced over her, a warm wash of self-realization.

Words died in his throat.

         And when you read a book, don't forget to write a review. An honest one. You liked the book? Write a review. You were bored to tears over a book? Write a review. 

         After all, most writers don't ever get applause. They rarely get packed auditoriums. The way you can clap for them, the way you can give them feedback is to write them a review.

        And hopefully soon, I will be able to exhale... 

        What is a great book you've read this summer? And/Or what do you still want to do before summer ends?

Back-of-the-Book Blurb Friday #19

        Yes, it's odd. It's Friday, and I'm actually not late this week posting Back-of-the-Book Blurb Friday on Friday. Strange, but true.

        Back-of-the-Book Blurb is designed as an exercise in succinctness. Brevity is next to godliness when it comes to "blurbs" on the back cover of a book--sparse bits to entice the reader into buying the book.

       This brilliant exercise was started by Lisa Ricard Claro. Lisa got way too busy with her multi-book publishing deal and had to give up hosting the book blurb activity. At this very moment, she is interviewing aesthetically-pleasing-to-the-eye young men to play in the movie version of her first novel, Love Built to Last. Will Caleb be played by Ryan Gosling? By Kit Harington?    

      Rumors have it that these two young men have been to Lisa for several call-backs. We'll keep you informed.

       And by the way, Lisa's third romance novel, Love to Win, is coming out tomorrow, July 30. I hate romance novels. I despise them. But Lisa's writing and her storylines suck me in every time. So, I'm planning on diving into Love to Win this weekend, because during the previous books in the series, I've learned to care about the characters and the relationships that have formed on the pages. 

       So, here's the scoop if you're playing along this week:

• Look at the photo below. That is the cover of your book.
• You choose the genre. Romance? Sci-fi? Contemporary lit? Nonfiction? Poetry anthology? You decide.
• Write an enticing blurb--150 words or less. (The title doesn't count in the word count.)
• Include your blurb in a blog post. Include a link to this post.
• Link your post to Mr. Linky. Mr. Linky is quite easygoing. If you've never done it, you'll be impressed with how simple he is.
• Check out the other blurb(s). It's interesting to see the different directions writers take, given the same photo.
• And most importantly, have fun. This is supposed to be enjoyable.

          Here is the photo for this week, and my lame finished blurb:

Trouble Retires... Or Does It?

These two friends have called themselves Thelma and Louise ever since they met. Together, they were trouble with a capital T. Playing practical jokes. Speaking their mind—loudly and often. Refusing to back down when someone did them wrong. Donna and Annie were an explosive combination.

When they went off to college, when they started families of their own, these two women supported each other. When Donna got laid off work, Annie threw her a “pity party” and made all the guests wet their pantyliners with her impromptu “roast.” When Annie's husband ran off with an 18-year old Amway saleswoman, Donna took her out on a “good riddance” bar spree.

But six months ago, they both retired. Now that they have empty hours every day, Annie and Donna are itching for an adventure. Sitting over dinner at a diner, they hatch a plan... and it involves a cross country road trip... (150 words)

         And for those folks who like to work ahead, here is the photo for next Friday.

Dog Medicine

       Dogs can certainly make our lives better. But can they save our life?

       Julie Barton says yes. Yes, a dog can save a person's life, because a golden retriever puppy named Bunker saved her life.

       I am only half-way through this wonderful memoir, and to say it's compelling is an understatement.

       Last week Barton did a book event at the library headquarters. I was first in line (which has never happened before) and when some people in the audience (who had already read the book) said they cried when reading it, I scoffed.

Bunker and Julie

       That evening, when she read a chapter of the book, I cried (said she who scoffed way too early).

       This book is noteworthy for a couple of reasons. One, it is skillfully arranged and beautifully written. Julie cleverly uses flashbacks, along with pairing her healing with the newborn puppy's struggles. Barton was abused by her older brother, resulting in her becoming depressed. When she got a golden puppy named Bunker Hill, she started getting better.

      Also, this book was first published by a one-man publishing house (in his basement? in a shed in his backyard? I'm not sure). It had such high sales, Medicine Dog was picked up by Random House-Penguin, one of the big five in the publishing world.

      So. A young girl can emerge from the abyss that is depression (with a handsome blonde at her side). And a little book?

      Well, a little book can explode...

Julie Barton

Back-of-the-Book Blurb Friday # 18

             Every Friday (except for June that Sioux took the month off and poked into the bottom of a gross of Russel Stover candies and last night, when she was busy with her granddaughter) there is a photo, and a link. (Mr. Linky is such a slinky fellow.)

          The premise is to write a blurb for an imaginary book--and the photo is the cover of the book. You have a limit with the blurb--it can be no longer than 150 words long. You get to choose what kind of book it is. This clever writing exercise is the brainchild of Lisa Ricard Claro, whose 3rd romance novel, Love to Win, comes out on July 30. 

       After you write a blurb, add your name to the link. (It's incredibly simple.) Feel free to peruse the dozens of one or two other blurbs that linked.

       Here is the "cover" of the book, along with my blurb:

Love at First Bite

Petunia nipped at Pugsley in the dog park, and was immediately smitten. His stout build. His short legs. His pushed-in nose. He was one hot dog!

And Petunia. Her scrawny legs. Her eyes that bugged out in such a beguiling manner. She was one hot-to-trot (on a walk twice a day) *itch!

Petunia had seen many dogs turn their butts away, snubbing the sniff, when a different breed would walk by. A chihuahua and a pug pairing? Not a wise combination, from Petunia's perspective.

But love wants what love wants. So Petunia hatched a plan—to transform herself into a pug, so Pugsley's family and friends would embrace her... with open paws.

Will there be a litter of puppies in Petunia and Pugsley's future? Or will Pugsley and Petunia each insist spaying and neutering would be the wisest way to go? Read Love at First Bite to find out. (148 words)

      And here is the photo for next week. I hope to actually post it on Friday. (This was a crazy week.)

Selling Short Nonfiction

          On Saturday I went to the AWN (All Write Now) conference. The first session I went to was with Sue Bradford Edwards. In a session that was an hour or so long, she shared lots of information. Here are some of the points/advice she shared:

• When an editor asks, "Can you do this?" (such as "Can you write an article about camel poop?") you say "Yes. Definitely." And then you rush around doing research...

• Once you set your sights on a magazine to write for, read the last 6 months' to a year's worth, so you aren't pitching something they published a few months ago.

• Sue's first draft is full of notes to herself in all-caps. (For example:  LOOK UP THE DATE WHEN KOKO THE GORILLA WAS BORN.) This way, your writing is not slowed down and also, you won't forget that a key detail needs to be inserted there.

• Sue does expert interviews to verify information, and she's never had anyone turn her down when she tells them she's writing an article for children.

• Make your information kid-friendly. Sue once did an article on horses (or was it the poop on poop?) and she discovered that a horse produces so many cubic yards of manure every week. Well, what does a cubic yard mean to a kid? Nothing, so Sue found out how much poop fits into a typical backpack and put it in those terms. Now that's something a child can understand:  A horse produces 25 backpacks of manure every week (or however many they can fill up).

• Make sure the slant is appropriate for the age level. One of Sue's friends wrote a piece about Jimi Hendrix... for eight-year olds. Is this the audience that needs to hear of his drug use? His overdose? This writer wrote about Hendrix's early years--when Jimi was a kid, he painted and drew. The author connected his artistry during his childhood with how he later painted with music. 

• Hook the reader with a great beginning. If you can find an oddball fact that contradicts what most people think they know about a subject, the reader cannot resist reading more.

• Magazine editors want their readers to continue to think about the subject even after they've finished reading the article. Make sure the ending is well-crafted.

• Research a magazine before you query them. 

        ---Who's the audience?
        ---What's the tone? Academic? Casual?
        ---Make a log of the articles they've published in the last year. If 
            the authors' names appear on the magazine's masthead or
            if they're editors, that's not the sort of thing you can pitch.

        It was a great conference. Many of the St. Louis writers impressed the agents and the editors. Donna Volkenannt--they want to see her whole manuscript. Pat Wahler--they want to see hers. Kathy Cureton (Val)--they want her proposal (she's working on a nonfiction book). And moi? One editor wanted to see my manuscript. Another wanted to see 50 pages.

         Stay cool, and keep your keyboard running hot with regular drafting and submissions.