The Pyrenees---Southern France

The Pyrenees---Southern France

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

All Roads Lead to Seinfeld...

         Last week, I had nothing to bring to my critique group. Since I'm not like Tammy, with her skilled sphincter and all, I could not pull something out of my butt. (What comes of my butt is not gems.)

         So I resigned myself to digging through some oldies but moldies, figuring I would have to bring a piece that had been freshly dusted off and brought out of the archives. (When I opened up the folder filled with pieces from the past, I even think I saw a moth flutter out.)

         But then an odd thing happened. When I stopped pushing and searching frantically for some inspiration, an idea came. In fact, two ideas shuffled in.

        And since I can connect just about everything to Seinfeld, I have to mention this episode:

                             Elaine had a new boss, Mr. Pitt. He was obsessed with finding the
                   right kind of white socks. Elaine had to make multiple trips to countless
                   stores, all in vain. 

                             Enter Kramer. Kramer brought in one of those "hidden picture" 
                    paintings. To see the picture that was not immediately obvious, all a
                    person had to do was unfocus their eyes, and the picture would appear,
                    as if magically.

                             Mr. Pitt became frantic as he tried to see the hidden image. In
                    fact, he got quite agitated as his desperation increased.

                              Later, Mr. Pitt inadvertently got a spot of ink on his upper lip--
                     making him now resemble Hitler--and when he made a speech about
                     a new brand of bottled water he was proposing (Moland Springs?), he
                     proclaimed that "The stock shall rise," and when he raised up one arm
                     in an accompanying gesture, the new water never had a chance...

         What writing experience can you connect to a Seinfeld episode or
character? Or would you be willing to share a story about how an idea came to
to you in an unusual manner?

         And if you want to find a Seinfeld expert--or you want to follow a blogger whose replies to comments are just as funny as their posts--follow Val.



  1. Thanks for the shout-out. Your archives must be like a box of Frank Costanza's cabana wear. Hope you're not ruining someone's beltless raincoat story with your infestation!

  2. How funny. I remember that episode of Seinfeld with Elaine's boss with the Hitler mustache.

    Whenever I see someone riding a motorized chair on the sidewalk I think of the Seinfeld episode with George riding on a motorized chair.

  3. Whenever I get writer's block, I think of the episode where George and Jerry are trying to write their first pilot for the show about nothing, and all they can come up with is that Elaine enters and says "Hi." Or maybe "Hello." Then they mess around and make excuses and eventually fall asleep. You are very kind to think my sphincter is skilled, but nothing interesting ever comes from there, at least in my case. What I come up with at the last minute is stuff from really old files like Val's description! I just had no idea there's a market for old crap.

  4. Val--If you would like, since you're out of town, I will box up the raincoats (they're in your garage) and send them to you.

    Donna--I remember that episode too. Sometimes I feel that my writing is going along as slow as George in that motorized chair.

    Tammy--Old crap. Don't they sell that for gardens? Once it reaches a certain age, it doesn't stink anymore...The same for our writing. A little time, a little distance, and it doesn't smell too badly.

  5. Sioux, what a wonderful analogy! But...P.S...can I get a license plate that says "The Ass Lady?" Even though my ass is fraudulent, or at the least, occupied with rotini?

  6. Tammy--You'd have to marry the "Ass Man" to get that license plate, and who wants to be married to a proctologist?

  7. Sorry, I hate Seinfeld. I never thought it was funny.

  8. It's a RASCAL, people! A RASCAL. You don't have to talk around it and call it a motorized chair. It's not like you're trying not to offend someone after offering her a wooden statue that might stand outside a store that sells cigars.

  9. Mash, Seinfeld and Frasier.. a hoot a minute, excellent script writers.

  10. No a huge tv person, I didn't watch a lot of Seinfeld and those I did see, I couldn't tell you anything about them, not really. And what was your question?


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