Donna Volkenannt: A Known Felon

         Yesterday evening, Donna spoke at the St. Louis chapter of Sisters in Crime. This is a group of nuns  writers who commit crimes write about crime.


      And Donna killed it. She slayed everyone who was in the audience. Her lively talk was peppered with comments and contributions from the other writers there. I came away with some really tasty body parts tidbits. So, for those who were unable to join us ("Pearl, Minneapolis to Creve Coeur is too far of a commute?  Liza Bean could have chauffered you.") here are some points/ideas that came up:

• Short stories move the characters from innocence to experience. Novels move the characters from innocence to experience and then to a higher innocence.
• Short stories can be put to work. Make them a "dress rehearsal" for your novel or for your characters. Try them on. See how they fit...
• She had her pants hitched up with a black canvas belt. Her long face was a picture frame for her tired-looking eyes. Her (Ooops. Sorry. This is part of what I was working on for the Saturday Writers Mystery/Murder Short Story Contest. The deadline is March 24.)
• Donna caught a mistake in one of William Peter Blatty's novels. (He's the one who gave us The Exorcist.) Donna reviewed the book, and noted in her review, "I can't figure out how a child was two-years old in one chapter and then in another chapter, a year later, the child is still two-years old." She got an email from the author, thanking her for catching the mistake that was missed by his editor and publisher.  What a great story.
• Dianna Graveman suggested using story prompts as the story ending, instead of using them as a springboard at the beginning. What a unique idea.

      And my favorite bullet of the evening:

Satisfy the readers' expectations, but not with what they expect.

Calling All Writers

      The news is bigger than my rear end, which means it's huge!

    St. Louis writer extraordinaires--Linda O'Connell and Dianna Graveman are working on two anthologies. And what do they want from us, you ask? They want our submissions.

     I know lots of writers who could pull a post off their blog, perhaps expand a bit (the low word count is 500) and send it off. And they'd be sure winners. (The possible topics are almost endless.)

Donna. Val. Lynn. Becky. Lu. Marcia. Alice. Pearl. Tammy. Zandrea. Lisa. Debra. Kathy and her clothesline. Cathy on a Stick. Barb. And everyone else I forgot to mention.

Here is the link in case you want to check out the other titles they are developing: Not Your Mother's Books 

Check out the two links below. Cut and paste and expand. And above all, submit! 

http://lindaoconnell.blogspot.com/2012/03/press-release-31112-news-is-out-st.html

http://diannagraveman.wordpress.com/2012/03/11/3293/

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Reply to Dianna Graveman

Reply to Dianna Graveman

Just About Everything I Know I Learned From My Critique Group

          It's amazing. When you're part of a writing critique group, you can drink from the fountain of knowledge, and get your thirst quenched every time.

       Last night we met, and here are just a few things I learned:

• Sometimes gold is unearthed when you're digging for potatoes.

       One member ("Cammy"* Her name is changed to protect the guilty) has pulled the same prank twice in a row. She professes to "have nothing" and then the most brilliant thing in the world reveals itself on the pages of her piece. Sometimes an older piece that we've set aside--for whatever reason--is a true gem. (ELynn and I didn't fall for it this time; we're too savvy. Galinda took Cammy's bait--hook, line and sinker. We're now calling them Cammy's POOB stories--"Pull Out Of Butt" pieces, because it's as if she reaches down and pulls them out of her rear end...)

       Scour your files and folders. You just might have something that's a true gem. 

• Five wheels are better than four. One of our members had a "business dinner" (wink wink) last night, and was MIA. The night was quieter, no police were called due to excessive laughter, and substitute snorters were called into action.

     In a great group, each person has something different to offer, and is integral.

• If one member is of the same "age" as you, and informs the group that apricots make her explosively gassy, it is not a good idea to take the leftover dried apricots and gobble them on the drive home to test her claim.  Blast off!

• Along with the pajama jeans I already ordered, I am also going to order a "gut-butt dickey." One of the WWWP's lives in pajama jeans in the evening hours; her endorsement of them made my fingers do the dialing right away (before they ran out). Now I'm going to order a gut-butt dickey (and a few for my friends).

       ("What is it?" It's a band of elasticized fabric that fits around your middle, making it appear as if you have a different-colored t-shirt under your other shirt. It's real purpose: to hide your "muffin top" and any cracks that might appear.)

      I think all of the commuters that ride Pearl's bus should get one of these. However, from the sounds of it, they might wear nothing but the gut-butt dickey. 

         More lessons and tidbits will be shared after our next meeting. Stay tuned...



         

Super Donna

         Donna Volkenannt is the writer we'd all like to be. She is humble (to a fault). She doesn't talk about what she should write. She simply writes. And she
        doesn't           give           up...

        Recently named first place winner in the Erma Bombeck Writing Competition, Donna was surprised. The folks who know her and know her work? Not so surprised. The competition? Over 500. 

        Congratulations, Donna. And in honor of two great writers, Erma and Donna, I will share one of my favorite Erma Bombeck stories.

Erma Bombeck
photo by sitsgirls

      Erma and her family were on vacation. Her husband was the type that would not stop the car. No sit-down lunches. No break to stretch out. Keep it movin', he maintained.

      Erma and the kids pleaded with him to pick an exit. "There's a restaurant that looks good," they'd beg, but the car continued on, hurtling past every spot they spied. 

      Digging into her purse, Erma offered her husband a piece of chocolate. "That'd be great," he replied. And thoughtful wife that she was, Erma unwrapped the piece of chocolate and handed it to her husband.

      'We'll be stopping soon,' she thought. 'He thought it was chocolate but really, it's Ex-Lax...' 

Let's Make a Deal

       Right now, an illustrator (Mark) is busily working on drawings for my picture book. Probably tirelessly tiredly as well, because he also has a full-time job, chickens to tend and hounds-from-hell to corral.

       This has been a drawn-out process. I initially begged my daugher (who is also an artist, besides an extraordinary mother), but keeping pace with my four-year old granddaughter left her no time or energy for it.  Enter Mark. 

        I have no money to entice him, but that's okay. Mark is just as whorish as I am. He's eager to get his name on the cover of a book. And he's taking the task quite seriously.

        A week ago, I went to the Saturday Writers meeting, and something that Joe Schwartz* said hit me like a freight train.

        He mentioned that he is broke, so when he needs someone to edit, he offers to mow their grass or change their oil. He doesn't have the money, but he does have skills he can barter with. He does the same thing when he needs a bookcover designed. 

photo by amanda (slh)

       Right now there is not much grass to mow, and nobody would want to drive their car after I changed the oil in it, but I do make a mean batch of fudge. It takes four hours  to make this fudge, but it's well worth it.** 

       So, I'm going to hold the proverbial carrot in front of Mark. For every illustration he finishes, I am going to make his some fudge or some Symphony brownies or some other chocolate delicacy. (He is a chocoholic just like me.)

     It seems only fair...


* Joe was so persuasive, he convinced me to get onto facebook, which is indeed miraculous...

** The fudge does take an extraordinary time to finish. Five minutes to cook, and 3 hours and 55 minutes to cool.

Lucky 13

          Bylines  2013 calendar is almost closed for submissions. If you want to check out the guidelines, go here. It's quite a helpful site. There are even a few examples of the kind of pieces they want. 

This is the 2012 Bylines calendar.

       I sent a submission a month or so ago. I've got another one I'm almost finished with. And since the deadline is tomorrow (at midnight) I am sure I will be up until an unreasonably late hour 10 or so, writing a third.
      They welcome all genres. That means you, Shay, could get your spirits working to compose several submissions. (You might even be able to bring Emily into your piece.)
        Lisa, you're so wonderful at inspiring others. I know you have a submission in you.
        Zandrea, here is your chance.  It's short (300 words, which includes your bio). Send it to me tonight or tomorrow; I'll be glad to help you with it. 
        My WWWP peeps--you better send something off. (Lynn, you could create a "letter" to your inner critic?)
       Marcia, Rebeca, Becky, Donna, Barb, Val and all my other blogging and writing friends...Surrender and submit.
       (And Sylvia Forbes...You might get tired of seeing my emails pop up in the next two days, but at least I'm trying.)